Tips for the men around here.

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DerStadtschutz
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21 Oct 2012, 1:18 am

MXH wrote:
billiscool wrote:
MXH wrote:
You probably should join some sort of fan club. talking about the olympics in a place people go to exercise is far more "normal" interesting than talking about some comedian. You might think its the women, but all women respond to something they like. as i said before, you sound like a good person but need to work on conversational skills with regard to doing more than being friendly.


Maybe I should talk about channing tatum around women,lol. You got a point there, like running club alot of woman there would talk about the olympic. Women do like twilight and all them weird cw shows, so maybe I should talk to women about them awful shows.
cause god forbid a women to ever say anything, but anyway, have a good night

i sense sarcasm here. but anyway, your call. As i said its not so much just what you talk about its more of having a conversation and not just dumping info on them.


MXH, I think you're just wasting your energy.



billiscool
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21 Oct 2012, 1:36 am

MXH wrote:
billiscool wrote:
MXH wrote:
You probably should join some sort of fan club. talking about the olympics in a place people go to exercise is far more "normal" interesting than talking about some comedian. You might think its the women, but all women respond to something they like. as i said before, you sound like a good person but need to work on conversational skills with regard to doing more than being friendly.


Maybe I should talk about channing tatum around women,lol. You got a point there, like running club alot of woman there would talk about the olympic. Women do like twilight and all them weird cw shows, so maybe I should talk to women about them awful shows.
cause god forbid a women to ever say anything, but anyway, have a good night

i sense sarcasm here. but anyway, your call. As i said its not so much just what you talk about its more of having a conversation and not just dumping info on them.

Ok, m. so what should I say to woman to get her to start talking to me then. All I want is to go up to a woman and say something and just get her yaking a way. remember Im a passive straight man. Even though I do want women to talk me first, I know that can't always happen.
And that rare women that does like adam sandler I may never ever meet.
so, what that magical thing to say to make a woman a talking machine and all I have to do is sit back and nod my head and not doing anything else from there. That my goal when I go up and talk to a woman, that she just take over the conversation, and then ask me out.

that type of women I want. The one that just talks all the time and I have to do is say ''yeah'' and nod my head.



MXH
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21 Oct 2012, 1:43 am

billiscool wrote:
Ok, m. so what should I say to woman to get her to start talking to me then. All I want is to go up to a woman and say something and just get her yaking a way. remember Im a passive straight man. Even though I do want women to talk me first, I know that can't always happen.
And that rare women that does like adam sandler I may never ever meet.
so, what that magical thing to say to make a woman a talking machine and all I have to do is sit back and nod my head and not doing anything else from there. That my goal when I go up and talk to a woman, that she just take over the conversation, and then ask me out.

that type of women I want. The one that just talks all the time and I have to do is say ''yeah'' and nod my head.


there is no one size fits all answer. you can talk about adam sandler or whatever you want. The thing is you're probably just dumping information on her instead of having conversation. As i said in the OP adding questions, engaging them, etc will not only give you info about them and also on how they are liking you but will make a conversation actually happen. And not just yaping next to her



billiscool
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21 Oct 2012, 2:51 am

MXH wrote:
billiscool wrote:
Ok, m. so what should I say to woman to get her to start talking to me then. All I want is to go up to a woman and say something and just get her yaking a way. remember Im a passive straight man. Even though I do want women to talk me first, I know that can't always happen.
And that rare women that does like adam sandler I may never ever meet.
so, what that magical thing to say to make a woman a talking machine and all I have to do is sit back and nod my head and not doing anything else from there. That my goal when I go up and talk to a woman, that she just take over the conversation, and then ask me out.

that type of women I want. The one that just talks all the time and I have to do is say ''yeah'' and nod my head.


there is no one size fits all answer. you can talk about adam sandler or whatever you want. The thing is you're probably just dumping information on her instead of having conversation. As i said in the OP adding questions, engaging them, etc will not only give you info about them and also on how they are liking you but will make a conversation actually happen. And not just yaping next to her


Like what kind of questions? Sure, I try to talk about better things around women. But I not going to pretend to be something Im not.
I can change my approach style but Im not going to change my overall self



MXH
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21 Oct 2012, 3:28 am

billiscool wrote:
MXH wrote:
billiscool wrote:
Ok, m. so what should I say to woman to get her to start talking to me then. All I want is to go up to a woman and say something and just get her yaking a way. remember Im a passive straight man. Even though I do want women to talk me first, I know that can't always happen.
And that rare women that does like adam sandler I may never ever meet.
so, what that magical thing to say to make a woman a talking machine and all I have to do is sit back and nod my head and not doing anything else from there. That my goal when I go up and talk to a woman, that she just take over the conversation, and then ask me out.

that type of women I want. The one that just talks all the time and I have to do is say ''yeah'' and nod my head.


there is no one size fits all answer. you can talk about adam sandler or whatever you want. The thing is you're probably just dumping information on her instead of having conversation. As i said in the OP adding questions, engaging them, etc will not only give you info about them and also on how they are liking you but will make a conversation actually happen. And not just yaping next to her


Like what kind of questions? Sure, I try to talk about better things around women. But I not going to pretend to be something Im not.
I can change my approach style but Im not going to change my overall self

well seeing as you mostly talk here about movies and actors, ask them about their favourite genre and why they like it/examples of their favorite works in there. Its questions that have to be answered in more than 2 short sentences
ive not asked to change how you are. if anything im completely against it



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21 Oct 2012, 7:25 am

What about hairstyle? I have long-ish hair, maybe I should go back to having it short.


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MXH
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21 Oct 2012, 7:27 am

equestriatola wrote:
What about hairstyle? I have long-ish hair, maybe I should go back to having it short.


depends on what suits you better. Me for example, i would look terrible with long hair. But I know guys that look better with long hair.



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21 Oct 2012, 7:30 am

MXH wrote:
equestriatola wrote:
What about hairstyle? I have long-ish hair, maybe I should go back to having it short.


depends on what suits you better. Me for example, i would look terrible with long hair. But I know guys that look better with long hair.


Do you, uh, want to see a pic o' me for a verdict on mahself?


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Janissy
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21 Oct 2012, 7:32 am

billiscool wrote:
It not my fault that the woman I talk to don't like adam sandler, maybe I should join an adam sandler fan club or something? Of course I do talk about others thing other than adam sandler, so I don't always talk about adam sandler. Im not wrong, no not at all. You are not first person I had conversation about this subject. I doubt you be the last one. Im a crazy guy that like talking about random stuff, If a woman like me, cool. If woman hates me, oh well. Your problem is that you act like there is no ''crazy woman'' that like me out there. Who can say I could up to a woman who also like to talking about random stuff like adam sandler,family guy, whatever. I said before 90% of women are just quiet around me but there are that minority of women that I do talk to about random stuff and they do talk back to me and start talking about something else]


I think it's a mistake to look at this in terms of fault or blame. Even though it often gets framed that way, finding somebody isn't about sorting the good from the bad. It's about sorting the compatible with you from the incompatible. If somebody isn't compatible with you that doesn't make her or you wrong or bad or crazy. It just means you aren't compatible. All this talk about women "not trying" is blinding you to the fact that they are deliberately not trying because they want you to give up and go away. (The "freeze out" technique I wrote about earlier). They are sensing instantly that they are not compatible with you. And they are right. If a man who opens a conversation with questions about Family Guy or Adam Sandler is somebody they don't want to talk to, then the two of you are not compatible.

So I;m wondering if this conversation-starter you are using is just a poorly-chosen technique that you can abandon or if it's the real you. If it's just a technique, then drop it and try some of the other conversational advice you have been given here. (MXH is giving good advice even if it's angering you.)

But if it's the real you, then it's acting as a compatibility sorter. You say that a small fraction of women are just fine with this, so focus on them. Stop being angry at the other women for not being compatible with you and focus on the ones who are.


Quote:
I went to a woman at the park and start talking about the olympics and guess what, she talk more stuff to me. it rare but it does happen.
I talk to another woman at my gym go to and guess what she carried on conversation. It was great. Awesome lady.
maybe 90% of women I talk to may not like my style approach but there are woman out there who don't mind or just as crazy as I am.
they may be a minority (not racialy) but they are out there.


Well....good. So there is a small group of women who do not instantly freeze you out. So focus on what is going right when those things happen. Instead of thinking that the other women are somehow wrong for not responding to your style, focus on the times when things go well and see if you can find commonalities. Is there something that you did a little differently from those other times when things went badly? (in which case your style needs tweaking so it's not so off-putting and more often engaging). Or do those women have something in common with each other( in which case you atrtract a certain 'type').



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21 Oct 2012, 7:33 am

equestriatola wrote:
MXH wrote:
equestriatola wrote:
What about hairstyle? I have long-ish hair, maybe I should go back to having it short.


depends on what suits you better. Me for example, i would look terrible with long hair. But I know guys that look better with long hair.


Do you, uh, want to see a pic o' me for a verdict on mahself?

if you want to share and get an opinion go ahead



Keyman
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21 Oct 2012, 9:53 am

A tip is also to ask what the girl/woman fancy.



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21 Oct 2012, 1:40 pm

Janissy wrote:
billiscool wrote:
It not my fault that the woman I talk to don't like adam sandler, maybe I should join an adam sandler fan club or something? Of course I do talk about others thing other than adam sandler, so I don't always talk about adam sandler. Im not wrong, no not at all. You are not first person I had conversation about this subject. I doubt you be the last one. Im a crazy guy that like talking about random stuff, If a woman like me, cool. If woman hates me, oh well. Your problem is that you act like there is no ''crazy woman'' that like me out there. Who can say I could up to a woman who also like to talking about random stuff like adam sandler,family guy, whatever. I said before 90% of women are just quiet around me but there are that minority of women that I do talk to about random stuff and they do talk back to me and start talking about something else]


I think it's a mistake to look at this in terms of fault or blame. Even though it often gets framed that way, finding somebody isn't about sorting the good from the bad. It's about sorting the compatible with you from the incompatible. If somebody isn't compatible with you that doesn't make her or you wrong or bad or crazy. It just means you aren't compatible. All this talk about women "not trying" is blinding you to the fact that they are deliberately not trying because they want you to give up and go away. (The "freeze out" technique I wrote about earlier). They are sensing instantly that they are not compatible with you. And they are right. If a man who opens a conversation with questions about Family Guy or Adam Sandler is somebody they don't want to talk to, then the two of you are not compatible.

So I;m wondering if this conversation-starter you are using is just a poorly-chosen technique that you can abandon or if it's the real you. If it's just a technique, then drop it and try some of the other conversational advice you have been given here. (MXH is giving good advice even if it's angering you.)

But if it's the real you, then it's acting as a compatibility sorter. You say that a small fraction of women are just fine with this, so focus on them. Stop being angry at the other women for not being compatible with you and focus on the ones who are.


Quote:
I went to a woman at the park and start talking about the olympics and guess what, she talk more stuff to me. it rare but it does happen.
I talk to another woman at my gym go to and guess what she carried on conversation. It was great. Awesome lady.
maybe 90% of women I talk to may not like my style approach but there are woman out there who don't mind or just as crazy as I am.
they may be a minority (not racialy) but they are out there.


Well....good. So there is a small group of women who do not instantly freeze you out. So focus on what is going right when those things happen. Instead of thinking that the other women are somehow wrong for not responding to your style, focus on the times when things go well and see if you can find commonalities. Is there something that you did a little differently from those other times when things went badly? (in which case your style needs tweaking so it's not so off-putting and more often engaging). Or do those women have something in common with each other( in which case you atrtract a certain 'type').


I answer as best as I can., Oh it call freeze out, I called it ''stone struck'' lol.
Ok maybe they think I open with a bad subject like family guy but what stopping a woman to say something else then?
Even if the woman has no interest in dating me at all, that shouldn't mean she can't just talk to me.
Even the woman who do talk to me, may have no interest in me but at least they have enough respect to talk to me.
Im not mad at woman, no not at all. I just wish woman would put more effort into conversation that all.
You ask if this is real me... yes , yes it is. That how I am. And Im not changing.
Btw I get all my confidence and my refuse to change from women.
women has made me into a confidence and happy man.



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21 Oct 2012, 1:51 pm

billiscool wrote:
I answer as best as I can., Oh it call freeze out, I called it ''stone struck'' lol.
Ok maybe they think I open with a bad subject like family guy but what stopping a woman to say something else then?
Even if the woman has no interest in dating me at all, that shouldn't mean she can't just talk to me.
Even the woman who do talk to me, may have no interest in me but at least they have enough respect to talk to me.
Im not mad at woman, no not at all. I just wish woman would put more effort into conversation that all.
You ask if this is real me... yes , yes it is. That how I am. And Im not changing.
Btw I get all my confidence and my refuse to change from women.
women has made me into a confidence and happy man.


Sigh....

They are looking "stone struck" and not engaging you in conversation because they want you to give up and go away. They don't want to talk to you. They will put no effort into the conversation because THEY DON'T WANT TO HAVE THE CONVERSATION!! !

If this just is who you are then accept this for what it is, a compatibility sorter. If the woman doesn't want to have a conversation with you and does her best to get you stop talking and leave then do so. You are not compatible with her. You have said that there are some women who enjoy talking with you just fine. Focus on them and see if you can figure out what these women have in common with each other. If there is a commonality amongst the women who will happily talk to you, that's the sort of woman you should approach to talk to.

Clearly your conversational approach works now and then. So it is just right for a small fraction of women. Instead of wishing that it worked on more women (which it won't), why not see that it is pointing you towards that fraction of women you are compatible with.

The women who don't want to talk to you will do whatever they can to get you to go away. They are unlikely to fake conversational interest just out of politeness (although a few may). You are wasting your time trying to engage them. Focus on the women you are compatible with.



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21 Oct 2012, 2:40 pm

Sigh....

They are looking "stone struck" and not engaging you in conversation because they want you to give up and go away. They don't want to talk to you. They will put no effort into the conversation because THEY DON'T WANT TO HAVE THE CONVERSATION!! !

If this just is who you are then accept this for what it is, a compatibility sorter. If the woman doesn't want to have a conversation with you and does her best to get you stop talking and leave then do so. You are not compatible with her. You have said that there are some women who enjoy talking with you just fine. Focus on them and see if you can figure out what these women have in common with each other. If there is a commonality amongst the women who will happily talk to you, that's the sort of woman you should approach to talk to.

Clearly your conversational approach works now and then. So it is just right for a small fraction of women. Instead of wishing that it worked on more women (which it won't), why not see that it is pointing you towards that fraction of women you are compatible with.

The women who don't want to talk to you will do whatever they can to get you to go away. They are unlikely to fake conversational interest just out of politeness (although a few may). You are wasting your time trying to engage them. Focus on the women you are compatible with.[/quote]

well, that rude of them. you are right I shouldn't waste my time with them women. they don't carry around signs, so I have no idea if Im going be talking to a cool women or a rude women, so I guess it taking chances. approach skills does works with very few women, yes and I should focus more on the cool women and forget about all them rude women. Thanks.



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21 Oct 2012, 3:24 pm

billiscool wrote:
What are you saying? I go up to women and talk to them. I can carry on a conversation with a women.
How is it my fault that alot of women don't know how to talk to me?
If a man go up to a women and say ''hey how is it'' and the women just ignore him.
How is it his fault?
If I went up to a women and say something like ''hey slut want to see my c())'' now I can understand
women being upset and That would be stupid of me.
Look, women can talk too. I've no idea why women are so quiet around me.
Women are never rude to me or even call me creepy or anything like that.
women have no idea how to talk to me.


*This guy seems more and more like a troll to me*

Look, if women can talk around every man, but you, you are very likely to do something wrong.

Secondly, you have to learn to accept the fact that all women may not want to talk to you. If a woman chooses not to let you approach her, it's extremely immature and rude of you to claim that she has a fault for doing that. Deal with it.


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21 Oct 2012, 3:36 pm

Look, if women can talk around every man, but you, you are very likely to do something wrong.

Secondly, you have to learn to accept the fact that all women may not want to talk to you. If a woman chooses not to let you approach her, it's extremely immature and rude of you to claim that she has a fault for doing that. Deal with it.[/quote]
Wrong at least 10% of women do talk to me. well, how you know the women I talk too are not just rude or very shy.
let me ask you this: what about women who complain about how they are always get asked out by jerks and creeps.
So why can't it be possible that I always end up talking to rude women. perhaps there is something wrong with me, I give you that point.
Because Im fair. but one more time. Can, CAN it be possible that Im just not speaking to the right woman.

(btw Im talking 90% of all women out there, just the one's I talk to)