"Nice Guys of OK Cupid" Website

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Tangents on threads about OkCupid are sexy

Good thing they are common.

Who wants to pat my hairy legs?

only if i get to cornrow them

^^ Best mental image of the day!!

its natures own form of stockings!

What strikes me is how entitled a lot of so-called "nice guys" feel to a woman. It's possible to observe this kind of "I'm a nice guy and nobody will give me the sex " whining everywhere on the web, and often you can notice the same guys elsewhere commenting about women/female celebrities etc that they find unappealing as if they shouldn't be breathing the air. Yet they'll happily rile at the way women around them discount them as potential mates on the basis of their own sexual or personal preferences. "How dare they?! I'm NICE!" Nice isn't a remarkable thing to be.. the vast majority of people are nice, and consider it a standard basis for interaction. If all you have to bring to the table is being a nice guy, then you'd think your time would be best spent on developing your other attributes.. but apparently some men find it preferable to sulk and expend a great deal of energy bashing the mean wimminz that won't give them what they want. What gave them the impression they were entitled to a woman of their choosing just for being alive..?

Last edited by crystallinegreen on 02 Jan 2013, 9:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

HAHAHAHA

Wow, what a blast to the past. I remember when I was a nice guy! Then the world turned me into a misanthropic prick. Now I'm just a "decent guy".

Yeah, I've almost never come across a "nice guy" who isn't using the word nice as code for "I feel entitled to women's bodies and have no regard for their autonomy"

I think I came across an article on the "good" men project with a title that summed it up. "Nice Guys Can Be Rapists Too"

DISCLAIMER : I am not saying anyone is a rapist, I just mean to use it as an example of people who have no idea what the meaning of the word nice is.

A lot of the "nice guys" don't so much as feel entitled to a piece of ass for being nice, as they do feel burned for the apparent fact of "jerks" getting laid all of the time. They feel like they're being punished for being decent men, and as a result often, rather unfortunately, turn into the bitter misogynists the "nice guy" title is so famous for.

[edit] Consider this, for example. You're a nice guy, and you do nice things for the sake of being nice, NOT for the sake of getting a piece of ass. Then, you notice Mr. Dickwad getting laid, and are like "dubya tee eff mate". From the outside, it can look like they're just being nice to get a piece of ass, when in reality they're more pissed about how being nice can often lead to being a kissless virgin.

Of course, some of them ARE being nice with the express purpose of getting ass, and imo that's not really all THAT bad, though.

That's an entitled attitude. I've never met a girl who is like "I love what a douchebag this guy is being, I need his lazystick!" there is something about that guy a woman is attracted to that has nothing to do with this "nice" guy she is friends with.

Seeing women's choices as punishment rather than as her exercising her autonomy is a self-centered and entitled attitude. Her sex life has nothing to do with the arbitrary nice guy who is wondering about why he's not getting any attention, except in his deluded head.

The harsh reality is that being nice is a great way to also be seen as weak, which generally turns women off, and while douchbag behavior isn't always savoury, it IS seen as an indication of power and strength, which generally turns women ON. And, also unfortunately, society tends to be built and built well around rewarding favorable actions, while punishing unfavorable ones. It's why we have laws that punish crimes, and why we give shiny medals to war heroes for brave acts.

Tbh, saying it's an entitled attitude is like saying you have an entitled attitude cause you want money for the work you do at your job.

It's pretty messed up to equate sex/a relationship to "payment" and even more worrisome to equate being nice to people to "working hard". Being nice should kinda be your default state of being, you shouldn't need to go out of your way to not be a dick to people and consider it an effort not worth extending when you reap no reward.

Abso-farking-lutely. But we have to face a simple fact: Humans are animals. Classical conditioning works. It works exceedingly well.

I just wish these "nice guys" would learn to combine being nice with the strength the douchebags usually have. That's way better than either.

When anyone takes on a job, in most instances they've made a contract with their employer that they'll do x and y tasks in return for a defined monetary reward. In which case, they are of course entitled to their wage, legally and otherwise.

Life's not like that, though. I'm not trying to say that anyone doesn't deserve happiness with a desirable mate, but there's a big difference between deserving it and being entitled to it. Women are not prizes or rewards, they're people.

I can't get to grips with this tendency to polarise all men as "nice guys" and "douchebags". I'm well aware that there are plenty of each about, but the majority of guys neither define themselves entirely by the quality of being nice, nor do they resort to cruelty or emotional manipulation. I sincerely doubt if the notion that those in the latter category are any more successful than the former at maintaining relationships in the long run, holds any weight. From what I've observed, guys who're most successful in their relationships with women (and vice versa) are somewhere in the middle.. they have realistic expectations that finding a suitable mate will take some real effort and so don't lash out when things don't go to plan, they're more liable to wonder how they can develop their own character to make themselves more appealing, rather than trying to "bring down the opposition". As a result, they're more well-rounded people.

Last edited by crystallinegreen on 02 Jan 2013, 11:23 pm, edited 2 times in total.

You ARE entitled to pay for work when you have a contract. Nothing entitles any person to another's body. Being nice or even showing strength does not equate to a contract. That is a false analogy.