OliveOilMom
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13 May 2013, 8:21 pm
appletheclown wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
appletheclown wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
appletheclown wrote:
meems wrote:
appletheclown wrote:
meems wrote:
I find committed relationships with men to be pretty much something I never want, sex with men is not really my thing, not even because I don't like the physical aspect, I just don't like men for the most part,(as in, I dislike most men I encounter socially and would not want to sleep with them) so if I'm sleeping with a guy, it's definitely a FWB situation, but never more. It's pretty much the same with women, but the only committed relationships I could even imagine in my future would definitely be same sex relationships. I tend to like women, most of my friends are women, etc. I just don't have the draw to be in anything committed with a dude.
I was in a committed relationship years ago with a dude, got pregnant, got an abortion, and I was pretty careful then, but I'm extremely careful now. But that's how I dealt with the one unwanted pregnancy that came up, in a responsible manner. I've never caught an STI/STD etc. Sex is just sex, it's nothing more to me. The idea of someone I've slept with thinking it's more just repulses me. And I've run into those situations, I generally cut it off as soon as this comes to light.
I was in a committed relationship years ago with a dude, got pregnant, got an abortion, and I was pretty careful then, but I'm extremely careful now. But that's how I dealt with the one unwanted pregnancy that came up, in a responsible manner. I've never caught an STI/STD etc. Sex is just sex, it's nothing more to me. The idea of someone I've slept with thinking it's more just repulses me. And I've run into those situations, I generally cut it off as soon as this comes to light.
If you were in a committed relationship, why did you get an abortion? Not trying to be mean, was he being a dirtbag about it? You don't have to answer if it is too personal a question.
The number one reason was that I have no desire to raise a child, no intention of ever being a parent.
I would have gladly raised the child for you.
Many women don't want to go through 40 weeks of pregnancy and then labor and birth just to give away their child. I've been through it four times with babies that I wanted, and it's no walk in the park. I cannot imagine going through all that for a baby that I didn't want in the first place and that there was no chance I would change my mind and want later.
Also, there are many, many people out there to adopt babies. I'm sure that having an abortion wasn't based on worry that there wouldn't be anyone to raise the child.
She made the decision that was right for her. There are many babies out there to adopt and kids that need foster homes. How many of them are you helping out? I'd worry about the ones that are here already before worrying about the ones that aren't.
The dead ones never get a chance to live, it is not something I can easily just forget about. It is her choice, you are right, it doesn't mean I have to like it. FYI, I do intend on adopting kids, not fostering them. I may intend on doing this when I get married but I am going to adopt a lot of them. Giving children a home where they can feel safe is one of the things I can at least do. I don't have much, and I probably never will, but if it is all I can do then fine. If I were to cause an abortion, I would not know what I would do. I would however, feel I deserve the same punishment as the unborn child received, that is how I view abortion. I am not saying anyone else deserves this though, I am just saying what I believe.
This isn't a thread about abortion. You are welcome to make a thread about abortion in PPR if you want. Meems shared something personal on here and didn't share it with the intent to be preached at about it by a stranger who doesn't know her and who has never and will never be in the situation she was in.
What exactly did you think you would accomplish by saying that to her? Considering that she has already had the abortion years ago you weren't trying to talk her out of having one. Clearly your intent was simply to attempt to make her feel bad about it. Making comments like that about abortion in general is one thing but making comments like that about someone's abortion that has already been done is really just uncalled for.
I had no intention initially to offend her at all, even after she told me to "Go Choke". I had no ill intent at all, she is the one who had the outburst, and completely ignored my apology.
What was the point in telling her that you would have raised the child then? You weren't offering to raise a baby she was pregnant with now and considering abortion for. What response did you hope to get from her when you said that? Did you want her to tell you how wonderful and giving you are and that if only there were more people in the world like you that there wouldn't be any abortion? Did you want her to suddenly regret having it and feel terrible?
You weren't discussing abortion in general, you were discussing her abortion and by saying what you did you insinuated that not only did she make the wrong choice but your actions would have helped her make the right choice had she only asked you for help.
If your intent was not ill, then what was it? What exactly did you think or hope that your remark would accomplish?
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MXH
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13 May 2013, 8:21 pm
MXH
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13 May 2013, 8:22 pm
13 May 2013, 8:23 pm
13 May 2013, 8:24 pm
13 May 2013, 8:26 pm
OliveOilMom
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13 May 2013, 8:26 pm
appletheclown wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
appletheclown wrote:
MXH wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
Have no "opinion" about it because it doesnt exist.
There is no such thing as being FWB in the straight world.
Gay men can be FWB, but not straight people.
There is no such thing as being FWB in the straight world.
Gay men can be FWB, but not straight people.
Where in the world did you get that idea? I've certainly had it.
My thoughts too. I am not sure many people truly understand concepts of love, dating and sex around here.
Love is absent in an FWB relationship, that is why we have an opinion, we do understand, we just don't don't have the sane opinion as other people, and it offends them.
Nobody is offended that you have a different opinion. However the point of the above posts is why the poster thinks that straight people can't have a FWB but gay men can. Love being absent in a FWB relationship has nothing to do with that. Also, what's wrong if love is absent in that relationship? Also, if you are good friends (read my story about my first FWB with a guy who I'm still friends with) you do love one another but just not romantically?
You like to say how you are traditional and conservative and presumably are Christian and have values taken from the Bible, so let me ask this. In Biblical times many, many marriages were arranged. They did not love each other, but they had sex. Was that wrong? They did not love each other. They did not feel a sacred bond and enjoy becoming one flesh and blood. The girl married the guy her father told her to (sold for a brideprice usually) and she had sex with him because she had to, and to have children for him. So if love is so important in sex, why doesn't the Bible condemn arranged marriages because there is no love?
Because back then God walked the earth, but women also respected their fathers wishes. Most of the time they learned to love, as I have also said before. The bible doesn't condemn arranged marriages because they are marriages, not pre-marital sex.
But there was no love on the wedding night when they had sex. Whether or not God walked the earth, women respected their fathers wishes or if they learned to love later on, that doesn't change the fact that it is sex without love, marriage or not. Actually, many times there would probably be lots of resentment and dislike on the part of the bride towards her husband that was forced on her. How is a woman having sex with a man she is forced to marry but doesn't love or even like better than two people who enjoy each others company having sex? I understand your religious views and I can see how from a religious standpoint that being forced to have sex with a man you dislike because your father said so and therefore it must be what God wants for you, but I don't see how from the standpoint of a human being with actual compassion for other human beings you think that the arranged marriage situation is so much better than the voluntary sex.
Of course not every arranged marriage was unhappy. I'm sure that many women were satisfied and even pleased with the choices their father made for them. However, many were not.
So, why is it better to have sex with someone you don't even like, just because your dad got 17 goats from him, than it is to choose to have sex yourself with someone you choose?
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13 May 2013, 8:28 pm
13 May 2013, 8:29 pm
OliveOilMom
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13 May 2013, 8:29 pm
appletheclown wrote:
Because back then God walked the earth, but women also respected their fathers wishes. Most of the time they learned to love, as I have also said before. The bible doesn't condemn arranged marriages because they are marriages, not pre-marital sex.
So women sold as commodities is ok, but getting it on without a ring isn't?[/quote]
Women were not sold, the payment was given as a dowry type thing because you were taking someone's daughter's virginity, it was more of saying you were sorry. Money wasn't evil back then. Why don't you read the bible you are quoting, I mean you don't even believe in it.[/quote]
You didn't answer his question. We understand what the bride price was and what it was about. It's still practiced in many parts of the world and even in some cultures here in the US. It's seen like selling because it's not done anymore by Western society.
However, you didn't answer the question he asked.
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MXH
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13 May 2013, 8:31 pm
13 May 2013, 8:32 pm
13 May 2013, 8:35 pm
OliveOilMom
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13 May 2013, 8:39 pm
MXH wrote:
You obviously don't understand I meant it would be demeaning to MEEEEEE if IIIIII had meaningless sex NOt you!
"Commitment issues eh? Is being stuck with a lady who wants to jump in the shower with you, take you to her nerd conventions, show you off to all her friends, cuddle around you Every Night, help you through your burnouts, cheer you up, and you the same for her really that bad? I would love to come home to a smiling face, and be that smiling face for someone else so very much. Wouldn't you?"
[/quote]
Apple, have you ever been in a long term relationship? Because while it's a lot like your description at first that doesn't last. I've been married for 26 years and love my husband dearly and I can tell you that it is certainly not like that description at all. It's also not like that at first for everybody either. Not ever love story is a happy one. Before you spend too much time trying to sell your version of romantic love to us, I'd suggest you talk to more people who have been in long term relationships and find out that while many times it is good and good for a long time, it's never like your description forever.
Rose colored glasses don't work in the real world.
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My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.
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OliveOilMom
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13 May 2013, 8:41 pm
appletheclown wrote:
Because everyone was poorer than anyone still alive today. If you were even lucky enough to get married at all, or even find someone who fancied you at all, living in the desert, constantly searching for greener pastures, or paying taxes day after day after day, you considered it a gift from God himself, and didn't complain about your once in a life time offer the man you were arranged to marry gave you.
OK, I get it. If your life is a living hell and having sex with a guy your dad sold you to will make your life a little better then it's ok to do it with somebody you don't love.
Gotcha.
You know, there are a lot of hookers who got into prostitution to make their lives better. Damn, they are Biblical!
_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.
The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com
13 May 2013, 8:42 pm
I don't like being sold something when the salesman hasn't sampled the goods, OliveOilMom 
don't know about you..lol
This has been a multiple page, illy thought out and highly offensive sales pitch.
I liked the budget FWB option I saw in the commercial a lot better.
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