Casual sex and Asperger's/autism

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multiple sex partners is a barometer for social ease in general, of easily being able to relate to people and to persuade them to do your bidding. when I was in the army, the GIs getting all the sex/mating action were also the ones getting the promotions and were in general able to talk people out of their money and time. in short they were alphas.

In general society I've found those that have multiple partners lack the ability to respect or build relationships.

I would beg to differ, in that they lack the WILLINGNESS in general to respect or build relationships beyond FWB, but they surely are capable of talking people into doing whatever they want to do, including establishing a relationship of convenience with whomever if it strikes the actor as useful to the self.

It doesn't matter whether its being done equally or not; someone who engages in sexual activity without any desire for commitment is ultimately being selfish. You may have a desire to please that person during the sexual act itself, but your primary concern is still yourself above them. That's why its wrong.

some people are simply not cut out to establish or maintain long-term bonds with other people- catting around is all they are good for.

right.to have multiple sex partner,you have to have good social skills,
and the ability to socialize with alot of people.

I had a decent amount of casual sex in college because I had low self-esteem and I was trying to feel attractive and valuable by making other people want me. So I wouldn't say that the people having lots of casual sex are always the secure, dominant success stories. I was (and still am) certainly an alpha, but I wasn't happy or confident.

As I became more confident, I had less sex until I became celibate altogether. Just my experience, though-- I just wanted to share a story of someone having the aforementioned casual sex where it wasn't necessarily a good or empowering thing.

I disagree; the main reason why relationships end (or fail to start) is because one or both parties are selfish. Being with someone means putting them before yourself, but the effort has to be mutual.

the point I was making, was that some people cannot be anything other than selfish.

Disagree with both of Moviefan2k4's posts here. Even if someone's primary concern is their self and getting off above all else, why is that automatically wrong by default? Everyone's different. Some people are in it for themselves, others for their partner, others for both equally etc. Just because someone's primary reason for sex is their own personal pleasure doesn't mean that's wrong. Nor does it mean it's right, either, but it just is what it is and if it works for that person then right on, good for them. Just because it may be wrong for you doesn't mean it's flat out wrong for everyone. Just sayin'.

And I don't think it's true that relationships end or fail to start because someone's selfish. ie someone could be completely selfless and that may be the problem as they're perceived as a total pushover with no self confidence because they're constantly trying to please the other person and never have the backbone to confidently speak up for themselves and say what they want out of the relationship. That's just one example that counters your statement. Again, I don't really subscribe to the idea that blanket statements can cover "rules," of relationships hard and fast and across all people because everyone is different.

I'd be very curious to see an average aspie guy actually try this. Please post a video if you do. (Of the part of the night from entering the bar to leaving it, I mean!)

Being selfish is a human quality, people focus on their lives and their own goals. Aspies tend to focus too much on others and not themselves, it leads to a lot of turmoil because we can't learn to love who we are. Being selfish is good so long as you try not to hurt people.

indulging in a bit of alliteration, I wonder how many randy aspies are really [ayn] randians as well? I wonder this in response to your extolling of the virtues of selfishness which is the name of a book she wrote.