OkCupid experiences?

Post Reply New Topic

American,

These tips are experimented and do work to increase your chances of getting replies:

- If you are physically fit and toned, post a shirtless pic in some beach or activity, that attracts their attention. Even the famous user yellowtamarin (long story) who previously opposed to shirtless guys pics changed her mind and is now advocate for shirtless guys (she probably secretly has my shirtless pics on her computer - long story too).

- Don't waste your time to message offline women, message only the "Online Now" and if you are targeting someone in specific and she's offline check again later and message her the first time until she's online. Sending her a message while she's online will make a pop-up appears on her page/app, also women receive tons of messages even while they'er offline so they'll have tons of messages to check the next time they come online.

- if you are chatting (real-time) with someone, reply fast to her IMs, make her hooked to the chat, otherwise she'll be distracted by other guys chatting her.

- As others said, if you are not getting phone/kik/skype in the next 3-4 messages or not leading to a meet up then you're wasting your time.

A little more on the "shirtless pic" thing.

Personally, if a man posts a pic where he has deliberately posed shirtless, I ignore the profile. Period. However, if it's a photo where he would naturally appear shirtless, such as at the beach, that's okay.

To be fair, my being revolted by guys posting a selfie of their pecs taken in the bathroom mirror may have something to do with my age.

I'm also curious as to whether anyone has any thoughts about online dating in a rural area....

The last time I did it, the interesting prospects within 250-300 miles of me were limited to exactly one person. He was the person who became my fiance, and he was still 170 miles away.

How do you "ask someone out" when they live 200-300 miles away? (The way I did it with my late fiance was that I traveled to his area semi-regularly for work, so it was easy to say, "hey, I've gotta be over there for work next XXXday.....care to meet for lunch?") I suspect that whatever man I might find who interests me this time is not going to be within my work travel area. I've poked around a little on a couple of the "look for free" sites, and there simply aren't any of interest closer than the nearest big cities (200-300 miles away).

I'm willing to date someone that far away because one or both of us is at or near retirement age, and relocating is not out of the question (also, I don't mind traveling on weekends - I love to drive). Should I make up an excuse to go to where they live and see if they want to have lunch while I'm there?

To clarify - I am okay with some shirtless pics taken in the natural settings described above. I'm far from being an advocate for the shirtless pic!

And I didn't change my mind Boo, if you recall, I looked back at the old thread and realised my views were actually the same.

But your shirtless pic is definitely my desktop picture on my home computer, I can't deny that. It's a small version set to "tile" so I can fit as many of you on the screen as possible.

I'd like to see women shirtless in their profile

I'm pretty sure a guy from OKC is rejecting me. We had plans to meet up with another member of OKC this weekend. When he saw the profile of the other member and finally a photo of myself, his response was "2 pm is cutting it close. Honestly, looking at his profile, I don't think we have much in common at all. You definitely don't look like how I expected." I asked him to clarify what he meant by my not looking like what he expected since I made no mention as what I look like.

That caught my attention as well.

Oh mon dieu....ménage à trois.

Well, they both live in the same area. One of them (the one that sent the rejection message) doesn't drive, so I had planned on catching the bus out to his area to meet up this weekend. Maybe a day after I had made plans with him, I made plans also with the other person and found out he lives near rejection dude. Both guys are on OKCupid a lot and had also hinted at not having many friends (rejection dude said all his friends had moved away,) so I figured we could all meet at the same time and if it didn't work out with me, they'd at least would have made a new friend in the area. It seemed the most convenient for both of them and also like it'd be fun ... very casual. Is this my AS being clueless?

I would imagine that he's saying that he finds me unattractive. It just seems weird how emphatic the "definitely" was ... like he had a definite idea as to what I looked like despite my not mentioning anything about my physical appearance. I do mention in my profile that I'm not monogamous, so maybe his assumption was that I must be high demand and thus attractive? Unfortunately, I sent a spate of messages to him that made me out to be as neurotic as I actually am. I really have no idea if I'm unattractive, but I'm starting to suspect I must be ... I also sent out my photo to other people I've been chatting with as it'll save both of us time. I had been chatting with rejection dude for two weeks! It is a little disappointing that now a few of them have opened the messages and not responded. I never thought of myself as very pretty, but am I really that bad looking?