the jerk double standard

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XFilesGeek
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19 May 2014, 1:38 pm

Venger wrote:

XFilesGeek wrote:

When one of my mother's boyfriends punched her in the face, broke everything in our apartment, screamed that I was a ret*d, and attempted to kill my cat, she called the police and had his a$$ arrested. She didn't fall madly in love with his super-jerk "alpha male" behavior. Apparently, all women do not date jerks. :roll:

uhh wow what a great example, no chance ur momma wrongly counted on him only being a super-jerk towards others, but not to her personally. :roll:

What was the evidence that he was a "jerk" beforehand?

Can you cite specific instances of him being a "jerk" towards other people?

Can you demonstrate EXACTLY what he said and did that marked him as a "jerk" prior to the incident described?

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Last edited by XFilesGeek on 19 May 2014, 1:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

XFilesGeek
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19 May 2014, 1:53 pm

marshall wrote:

:roll: Sounds like reverse sexism to believe there's no real reason. Men just complain more because they're inferior, right?

I was suggesting maybe men complain about being single more than women do. I never said anything about men being "inferior." If you choose to assign that meaning to what I said, fine, but it's a product of your own imagination.

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I guess you're the type of aspie that has problems with empathy so its probably no use arguing. Some combination of lack of empathy and a need to flame.

I never claimed to be a "Nice Girl."

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Do you view all men who complain of not being able to find a partner in a negative light?

Only when they persistently make negative generalizations, and minimize other people's problems. And then act hurt and offended when people challenge their views.

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I don't know what universe you live in where "cry w*k" isn't flaming.

No, I don't think "cry wanks" is a flame, especially when it comes on the heels of a post that persistently makes negative generalizations and minimizes other people's problems.

Negativity is going to breed negativity, and I'm not surprised when people start losing their patience with chronic offenders.

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Regardless, I think "nice guy" is a word meme that needs to be flushed down the toilet. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being genuinely nice, but "nice guy" has become a meaningless derogatory term. It can mean anything from someone who's shy, lacks confidence, etc... all the way to someone who is truly bitter and hates women. So, when you collectively slam "nice guys" you're slamming a whole range of people, regardless of whether they act obnoxious and wear fedora's or conform to some other internet meme they may or may not even be aware of.

Not really. The term "Nice Guy" is a sarcastic term that means precisely the opposite of what actually counts as "nice." That's why the term "Nice Guy" is usually written in quotation marks. Granted, people who don't understand sarcasm are probably aren't going to get it.

XFilesGeek
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19 May 2014, 2:07 pm

cubedemon6073 wrote:

How do these negative generalizations develop in the first place?

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and why is that? What is the major cause of this?

Those are really interesting questions, and I'd love to explore them further. I sometimes wish that WP had a "Gender Issues" sub-forum where we could discuss things like this in-depth and not hijack the L&D forum.

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You're right they're emotionally abusive towards their girlfriends and they brag about it. They're a part of what is wrong with this screwed up culture. One thing they do need to understand is correlation does not equal causation.

Agreed.

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Personally, what I want are solutions not sympathy.

I'm the same way, but I've learned the hard way that some people are just looking to vent.

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I think this is a part of the wider problem at hand which is our over-sexed culture which devalues things and makes them to a business exchange. Things are treated as a commodity and a hustling way in our culture (The USA). What I think we need is an overall to how the two opposite genders are supposed to court each other. Part of my recommendations is this.

1. Both genders are allowed to ask whomever they like out in a direct manner.
2. The person asked can say yes or no.
3. Unless there is direct, explicit and enthuastic yes then assume there will be no sex.
4. Do favors for people because you want to help not expect anything in return.

Agreed.

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Interesting! I never would've thought of it that way but how do you figure so?

It depends on the words. "Concrete words" are more likely to have a singular definition and a direct meaning, but "abstract words" usually have multiple meanings and depend more on context.

Eureka13
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19 May 2014, 2:17 pm

There's probably nothing more unattractive (in either gender) than always blaming others for whatever is wrong with one's own life.

Nobody has a problem with someone feeling unhappy about not being able to find a meaningful relationship. When it becomes a problem is when that someone starts generally blaming a particular gender for it. If you (the generic "you," not talking to anyone in particular here) cannot be happy with yourself, how can you possibly expect anyone else to be happy with you? And by "happy" I don't mean the steely-jawed martyr, approaching the world knowing it is going to eff you up and taking pleasure from realizing your self-fulfilling prophecy. I mean be happy with who you are. If you don't like who you are, change it.

marshall
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19 May 2014, 4:28 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:

marshall wrote:

:roll: Sounds like reverse sexism to believe there's no real reason. Men just complain more because they're inferior, right?

Stop playing games. You know what I meant. You're averse to considering reasons because it detracts from your need to judge all men for complaining about something you consider a non-issue.

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I guess you're the type of aspie that has problems with empathy so its probably no use arguing. Some combination of lack of empathy and a need to flame.

I never claimed to be a "Nice Girl."

To the contrary, you're obsession with fighting shows that you are a "Nice Girl" in the sarcastic sense.

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I don't know what universe you live in where "cry w*k" isn't flaming.

So your justification for flaming is "he did it first". Negativity breeds negativity, well there's negativity all around and you're just another breeder. There's no moral high ground here. Don't pretend there is.

XFilesGeek
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19 May 2014, 7:35 pm

marshall wrote:

Stop playing games. You know what I meant. You're averse to considering reasons because it detracts from your need to judge all men for complaining about something you consider a non-issue.

Well, you're right: there IS a problem on this sub-forum with people claiming "sexism" where none was originally intended......

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To the contrary, you're obsession with fighting shows that you are a "Nice Girl" in the sarcastic sense.

Yeah, that's pretty much what I said.

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Pointing out the likely outcome of an action is not equivalent to claiming "moral high ground." I simply acknowledge that, after repeatedly being the target of negative generalizations and having one's problems continuously minimized, there's a very good chance that the targeted parties are going to loose their patience (male or female).

It's very well to suggest that everyone should have otherworldly forbearance in all matters relating to interactions with their fellow humans, but, deep within my black, withered heart, I doubt that's possible for most mortals. There's a limit to how many times a person can get punched in the face and keep smiling.

XFilesGeek
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19 May 2014, 7:38 pm

Eureka13 wrote:

Bingo.

hale_bopp
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20 May 2014, 3:49 am

Does anyone on this forum realise that you don't have to tell people you're a virgin?

YourMajesty
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20 May 2014, 4:00 am

hale_bopp wrote:

Does anyone on this forum realise that you don't have to tell people you're a virgin?

But wouldn't it become apparent?

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hale_bopp
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20 May 2014, 4:30 am

YourMajesty wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Does anyone on this forum realise that you don't have to tell people you're a virgin?

But wouldn't it become apparent?

No?

Whether or not you're good in the sack has nothing to do with how many people you've been with.

Who_Am_I
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20 May 2014, 6:02 am

starvingartist wrote:

billiscool wrote:

SoftwareEngineer wrote:

See if you can derive an operational strategy from my posts above. Perhaps, you can develop into an arrogant inconsiderate self-centered jerk and get the chicks. I tried it once with success. It sounds crazy, but why not leverage your autism. We are already perceived as arrogant, inconsiderate, and self-centered. Adding the jerk part isn't that tough. You can do it! And really, adding the jerk part completes the picture for a successful neurotypical persona. That is, by learning to be a jerk, you might fit in with NTs. They will think you are just another normal jerk.

actual that's How I got my GF(''best lady friend'')back for the
second time.By being a complete douch(jerk)I would just
mock her,and she came back to me.

And she's back with me for the 3rd time.Whenever we ''separate''
I act like ''alpha douche''and whatever reason,she gets
turn on and goes back with me.

appreantly bragging about emotionally abusing people is not violation of TOS on this forum, which i i find interesting. i wonder, if you had bragged about beating her, or raping and killing her, would that be acceptable too? or just emotional abuse is ok i guess?

Here's what I imagine happened, based on his posts:

His lady friend leaves him.

Then:

Then over he comes to WP:

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billiscool
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20 May 2014, 8:44 am

nope,not even close.

Uprising
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20 May 2014, 9:11 am

YourMajesty wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Does anyone on this forum realise that you don't have to tell people you're a virgin?

But wouldn't it become apparent?

How can you legimately prove it for 100% if he's saying it ain't?

The_Face_of_Boo
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20 May 2014, 9:44 am

Who_Am_I wrote:

starvingartist wrote:

billiscool wrote:

SoftwareEngineer wrote:

Here's what I imagine happened, based on his posts:

His lady friend leaves him.

Then:

Then over he comes to WP:

The gf is too skinny, you need to take her out to dinners more often, bill.

marshall
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20 May 2014, 11:52 am

I give up...

Someone should start a new one of those poster memes with the format....

Upper Caption: Alpha Douche

*funny animal pic*

Lower Caption: It's not my fault. She gets turned on by me.

SoftwareEngineer
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20 May 2014, 12:20 pm

Perhaps, the best Alpha Douche of all time is this guy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfn8GT-9008

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