Were does all the hate in this sub-forum come from?

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what if the woman of your acquaintance doesn't wish you to judge their appearance but is afraid of saying so and hurting your feelings? have you ever asked the women you know if it bothers them that you look them up and down, that you comment on how they look? how about the women of your acquaintance here on WP, what kind of messages are you getting from them about how they feel about being judged by you based on their looks?

I can usually tell if it bothers them. If it bothers them, I don't do it.

have you ever asked? maybe you should try asking instead of assuming what people want or like.

So now all those users (men and women) in the picture threads here who compliment others' pictures are a**hole objectifiers?

Millions of people on FB are so then!!

I think this stems from my comparison between making crude comments in the street, and offering more subtle compliments.

I should have specified that I offer the compliments to people of my acquaintance.

I don't compliment strange women in the street.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt1097.html

Every user who said to another user (after posting pics) things like "You are attractive / you are handsome / you look nice / looking good! " - should be labeled objectifiers - according to starving laws.

People, usually, are very forthright with me as to what they desire. There are some who don't care to be complimented. I do as requested.

And I DON'T LOOK WOMEN UP AND DOWN!! !! ! EVER

it obviously doesn't apply to people who submit their own images and specifically ask for feedback on their appearance, as i'm sure you know.

please stop putting words in my mouth, it's intellectually dishonest.

When you first meet someone in real life the only thing you know about them is how they look. I mean you can't really go up to someone new and say "Hey, you've got a wicked sense of humor, would you like to grab a cup of coffee?" You just wouldn't know if they had a good sense of humor unless you overheard them talking to someone else. If that's the case then you'd sound like a stalker which is even creepier than just saying, "You look beautiful. I love what you've done with _______ (insert accessory/clothing here)."

And to be honest a lot of women judge men's looks just as much as lot of men do, they're just more subversive about it-- they won't whistle and shout anything, but they'll ogle and stare a hole into a good looking guy, talk among themselves about who's a "beefcake", and judge a man based on the size of his biceps. We're humans, we have eyes and we like to use them, both sexes do.

As for ASD and the tired old gender war here's how I see it:

Many ASD men have problems getting dates and entering relationships because society deems men to be the "initiators" and a lot of ASD men fail at non-verbal communication, lack of eye contact, no sense of social timing, and usually have low social self-esteem. This leads to resentment. They come on here and complain about women because of frustration, not because they hate women, view them as only sexual objects, or because they're bad men, but because they need to vent.

Many ASD women, on the other hand, don't have near the hurdles to overcome in getting a date since they aren't expected to be the "initiators". From that point though their autism becomes an issue since they may have problems understanding the intentions of their suitors. This leads to a lot of ASD women getting used and abused by not so stalwart men. They come on here and complain about men hating women and men being nothing but pick up artists interested only in sex and objectifying women. They're just like the men here, they're frustrated about their own lack of success in the relationship game-- they don't necessarily hate men, or view them all as misogynists, nor are they bad women, they just need to vent as well.

We're all more alike then we are different...so can't we all just sing kumbaya and get along?

Aristophanes was a great Greek (Athenian?) playwright. He wrote "Lysistrata," right? A classic!! !! ! Actually, a Feminist classic, in a way.

I advocate Kumbaya as well! (I hated the song as a kid--but I realize its virtues at present).

I'll have to research the origins of that!

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 23 May 2014, 7:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

please don't go there, seriously--that has been rehashed again and again and you guys refuse to listen no matter how many women on this forum tell you it is not easy for us to get a date just because we have a vagina. i am extremely limited in my socialisation, so i rarely if ever meet new people. how am i supposed to get asked out on a date if i never am around guys who might consider asking me out? being paralysed with social anxiety makes putting oneself out there in the first place practically impossible, and if you don't put yourself out there you don't get asked, whether you're male or female. i haven't been asked out in 10 years. how have i had an easier time than you just because i'm a woman?

You're selectively parsing my argument. I never said all women, I specifically said many women because no two individuals are the same. The main gist of the argument is that a lot of the women I've seen posting on here about their problems have been about the intentions of their suitors. Comparatively I see very few women posting on here asking about how to get a date, I mostly see the women here asking about how to deal/cope with a partner (vice-versa too, I see very few men here posting about dealing with a partner and a majority posting about finding a date). I can only go by the data I see, that's why it's an opinion-- I never claimed it met the requirements of scientific rigor, nor am I trying to diminish the frustration or deny the issues that you or any other females on this forum may have, I'm merely pointing out my observations.

Yeah, Lysistrata...it depends on how you look at the play though. Some feminists would claim it's a play about female power-- the ability of women to socially band together to stop a war. Other feminists would argue that it's merely an objectification of women and their only real "power" is their sexuality. I just find his plays humorous, he may have been on the autistic scale himself since he had a very negative view of society and human nature at large.

Check the pics thread, they don't explicitly ask for feedback, but users comment on the pics anyway.

I was being sarcastic there, but seriously starvingartist... you should meet other women more often.