Men asking before kissing on First Date (again this topic)

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androbot01
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24 Sep 2014, 3:03 pm

This is my favourite version:

Image



Toy_Soldier
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24 Sep 2014, 6:01 pm

androbot01 wrote:
This is my favourite version:

Image


:lol:



The_Face_of_Boo
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25 Sep 2014, 1:19 am

^ The tragedy: Dog ate his grilled ribs.



Toy_Soldier
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25 Sep 2014, 6:49 am

I kinda like the transition, but without going back to look, can't remember how we actually made the switch from kissing to post impressionist painting. :lol:

Backtracking to the original question I would say it is one of those that does not have a yes or no answer. The closest thing to an answer is 'it depends'.



Yuzu
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25 Sep 2014, 6:53 am

Personally I really fail to see why asking or getting your intention known verbally is supposed to kill the mood or ruin the moment. Why am I always the odd one?

In the UK there is a petitions going on to make the Sex & Relationship Education to include sexual consent, healthy and respectful relationships, gender stereotypes and online pornography.

Maybe younger generations will be free from the old views of what is supposed to be romantic.
They'll be like "what? You wait for signals and slowly lean in? That's soooo 2010!!" I'm hoping.



GiantHockeyFan
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25 Sep 2014, 7:03 am

Yuzu wrote:
Personally I really fail to see why asking or getting your intention known verbally is supposed to kill the mood or ruin the moment. Why am I always the odd one?

In the UK there is a petitions going on to make the Sex & Relationship Education to include sexual consent, healthy and respectful relationships, gender stereotypes and online pornography.

Maybe younger generations will be free from the old views of what is supposed to be romantic.
They'll be like "what? You wait for signals and slowly lean in? That's soooo 2010!!" I'm hoping.

Like a lot of things I don't understand it but I try to go with the flow. We also have an educational program in our Colleges and Universities that reminds students if consent is not made clear it's sexual assault. Seems like you are damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Having said that, when I went "inside" I always asked if they were ready and the women appreciated that fact since they might not be physically ready if you know what I mean.



yellowtamarin
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26 Sep 2014, 12:25 am

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
Yuzu wrote:
Personally I really fail to see why asking or getting your intention known verbally is supposed to kill the mood or ruin the moment. Why am I always the odd one?

In the UK there is a petitions going on to make the Sex & Relationship Education to include sexual consent, healthy and respectful relationships, gender stereotypes and online pornography.

Maybe younger generations will be free from the old views of what is supposed to be romantic.
They'll be like "what? You wait for signals and slowly lean in? That's soooo 2010!!" I'm hoping.

Like a lot of things I don't understand it but I try to go with the flow. We also have an educational program in our Colleges and Universities that reminds students if consent is not made clear it's sexual assault. Seems like you are damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Having said that, when I went "inside" I always asked if they were ready and the women appreciated that fact since they might not be physically ready if you know what I mean.

@ Yuzu: It's not "supposed" to kill the mood, I wish it didn't kill the mood for me because then I wouldn't disappoint someone who I would have kissed but they made the "mistake" of asking me. Also it disappoints me cos I may have been looking forward to a pash. It's not fair but I can't help what turns me off, I guess.

@GHF: Same thing applies with that, for me :( Though I'd be unlikely to say "no" since there's a fair bit more invested at that point :P I wonder if others who feel that asking is a mood-killer feel the same way in terms of all romantic/sexual advances.



Ectryon
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26 Sep 2014, 12:46 am

In America there's a fairly significant movement campaigning to enforce a law that makes students provide written consent before sexual activity


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Shau
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26 Sep 2014, 6:38 am

Ectryon wrote:
I was too busy longing for Booette and her sweet disembodied head :wink: Out of all these examples which would you suggest. Arguably were no further than when we started. Are any of thee ways actually likely to work?


Pay attention, sonny boy! I used "Am I allowed to kiss that sexy girl in front of me yet?" on my current GF and it worked marvelously, as I stated on page 3 or so. I can vouch for that one, provided you can deliver it correctly.


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26 Sep 2014, 7:21 am

Shau wrote:
Ectryon wrote:
I was too busy longing for Booette and her sweet disembodied head :wink: Out of all these examples which would you suggest. Arguably were no further than when we started. Are any of thee ways actually likely to work?


Pay attention, sonny boy! I used "Am I allowed to kiss that sexy girl in front of me yet?" on my current GF and it worked marvelously, as I stated on page 3 or so. I can vouch for that one, provided you can deliver it correctly.


We need double blind studies. Randomised trials!! A sample size of one isnt enough!


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26 Sep 2014, 10:04 am

Honestly, if I liked a guy I would not give a s**t as to whether he askes me for permission or not. And I think that goes for most women.



Ectryon
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26 Sep 2014, 10:41 am

Cafeaulait wrote:
Honestly, if I liked a guy I would not give a s**t as to whether he askes me for permission or not. And I think that goes for most women.


Yes... but if you didnt like the guy that would be a problem and as aspies we're not great at being able to tell whether we're getting signals or not. In my case a girl has to be extremely flirtatious for me to feel confident enough to take a chance.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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26 Sep 2014, 11:00 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
GiantHockeyFan wrote:
Yuzu wrote:
Personally I really fail to see why asking or getting your intention known verbally is supposed to kill the mood or ruin the moment. Why am I always the odd one?

In the UK there is a petitions going on to make the Sex & Relationship Education to include sexual consent, healthy and respectful relationships, gender stereotypes and online pornography.

Maybe younger generations will be free from the old views of what is supposed to be romantic.
They'll be like "what? You wait for signals and slowly lean in? That's soooo 2010!!" I'm hoping.

Like a lot of things I don't understand it but I try to go with the flow. We also have an educational program in our Colleges and Universities that reminds students if consent is not made clear it's sexual assault. Seems like you are damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Having said that, when I went "inside" I always asked if they were ready and the women appreciated that fact since they might not be physically ready if you know what I mean.

@ Yuzu: It's not "supposed" to kill the mood, I wish it didn't kill the mood for me because then I wouldn't disappoint someone who I would have kissed but they made the "mistake" of asking me. Also it disappoints me cos I may have been looking forward to a pash. It's not fair but I can't help what turns me off, I guess.

@GHF: Same thing applies with that, for me :( Though I'd be unlikely to say "no" since there's a fair bit more invested at that point :P I wonder if others who feel that asking is a mood-killer feel the same way in terms of all romantic/sexual advances.


How most of your female friends think?



Yuzu
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26 Sep 2014, 11:35 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
GiantHockeyFan wrote:
Yuzu wrote:
Personally I really fail to see why asking or getting your intention known verbally is supposed to kill the mood or ruin the moment. Why am I always the odd one?

In the UK there is a petitions going on to make the Sex & Relationship Education to include sexual consent, healthy and respectful relationships, gender stereotypes and online pornography.

Maybe younger generations will be free from the old views of what is supposed to be romantic.
They'll be like "what? You wait for signals and slowly lean in? That's soooo 2010!!" I'm hoping.

Like a lot of things I don't understand it but I try to go with the flow. We also have an educational program in our Colleges and Universities that reminds students if consent is not made clear it's sexual assault. Seems like you are damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Having said that, when I went "inside" I always asked if they were ready and the women appreciated that fact since they might not be physically ready if you know what I mean.

@ Yuzu: It's not "supposed" to kill the mood, I wish it didn't kill the mood for me because then I wouldn't disappoint someone who I would have kissed but they made the "mistake" of asking me. Also it disappoints me cos I may have been looking forward to a pash. It's not fair but I can't help what turns me off, I guess.

@GHF: Same thing applies with that, for me :( Though I'd be unlikely to say "no" since there's a fair bit more invested at that point :P I wonder if others who feel that asking is a mood-killer feel the same way in terms of all romantic/sexual advances.


I don't really care if it's fair or not, I'm just amazed at how different I am yet from the majority of people. But I should know it's nothing new.



Nights_Like_These
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26 Sep 2014, 2:30 pm

Yuzu wrote:
I don't really care if it's fair or not, I'm just amazed at how different I am yet from the majority of people. But I should know it's nothing new.


I don't get it either. If someone is really into someone else I don't see how them asking permission to kiss the other would magically make all of those feelings dry up, but something tells me the rejected person is probably better off. It just seems fickle and a bit shallow, in my opinion.


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26 Sep 2014, 3:03 pm

I've been asked if I could be kissed and it didn't ruin the/my mood or anything. Perhaps it's also due to the fact that I'm understanding about how I must come across to others, especially if I like them: hard to read. Not having been asked has happened as well and how I responded to that differed per situation and whether I liked the guy. *Not* asking won't ruin it either if I'm into him.

I do prefer however that a guy asks if we hardly met/know each other. Hard to explain in English... but it then feels like he respects my boundaries and doesn't take the risk of going too far when I don't like that. (and as I said, I'm probably hard to read)


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