Cool song about getting friendzoned

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^I trained in aikido for 15 years. Big guys are often as stiff as boards, and just as easy to knock down.

I think no amount of training in any martial art would make me confident knocking down someone with the bulk and the muscles to tear my head off or snap my arm in half by bending it the wrong way. It may be the best thing to do in a survival situation, but I'd still be screwed.

Of course, I'd need to be able to afford the training in the first place.

LKL,
No, I wear flat shoes, even converse-like at times, I wear boots only in rainy days. Boots, no matter how high, wouldn't make me 'tall' - I would still be perceived as short.

I am a short man, 5'3, and you were saying 'short men are..."

You literally said " I've dated short and tall guys. Major disadvantage of the former was Napoleon syndrome -"

So you painted all short men with a psychological syndrome.

It's like saying "I've dated black and white girls . Major disadvantage of the former was Internalized racism-"

Sure, you never see whites with Internalized racism, but it's still a stereotype to say that about black girls.

But now you adjusted it with " a couple of short guys I dated were sensitive about their height. Other short guys I've dated and/or known weren't" - so see, it turned out you were really parroting a stereotype based on a couple of guys you met; why? because you believe in this stereotype within, and at first similarity to this stereotype..." Aha! see? They have Napoleon syndrome!".

It is for the same reason you take it personally when men here talk badly about women because of a couple of gold diggers they met, eh? ;p

Personally, I really believe you are simply trying to justify your lack of attraction toward short guys.

And I would really question how you are so sure that his cowboy boots is his choice because he wants a height boost and not simply his narrow fashion style? and why you are so sure that he doesn't take off his boots because he doesn't want to lose some inch, did you ask him that? Did he tell you directly "I don't want to lose inch, so boots stay here" .....this sounds so comic, a really unbelievable character.

- does he sleep with his boots? Did he have sex with you while wearing boots too?

No. I painted the short guys that I've dated with a psychological syndrome.

If I hadn't found them attractive, I wouldn't have dated them in the first place. What would be the point?

And, no: he didn't say so explicitly, but he didn't leave the house without them and didn't even like being around the house without them, though he didn't sleep in them; he wouldn't wear unheeled footwear regardless of the handicap that heels gave him. He didn't deny wanting the extra height when I explicitly asked him if that was why he was being stubborn about it.

I am going once more question your thinking....

And so what?? What if he wants to wear them all time because of height, why you see that so bad as a syndrome?

I think you are feminist and pro-choice, I am sure as hell you wouldn't label a short girl who wears heels or high shoes as Napoleon syndrome (statically, tall girls would be less likely to go for high heels all time), I am sure you wouldn't call flat chest girls who wear cushioned bra all time as xyz syndrome (and statistically, girls with big breasts won't wear them) or calling girls with bad acne who wear strong make up all time as Make up syndrome or whatever (statically, girls with perfect skin wouldn't wear them as strong).


No, LKL, you would just probably say "it's their choice", "she can wears whatever makes her feel good" -.....so why suddenly when a guy goes for high shoes all time to feel good is suddenly labeled so pejoratively?



So he shared a personal insecurity with you and something he does to remedy this insecurity, and here you are mocking his insecurity on WP by calling him napoelon syndrome.

Imagine if a guy here does this to his ex gf who entrusted him with some insecurity she has (ie wearing certain type of bra because its makes her breasts look bigger / or she tend to wear black all time because it makes her look thinner...etc).
Imagine the backlash he would get from the ladies here, you would be the first to attack him.

You have no idea how much mocking short guys get in their lifetime (like flat chest girls or obese girls), so developing some insecurity on that.....is natural, seriously what do you expect? Some people cope with it well and become resistant and indifferent, while others don't.

For example, I am still mocked on that to this day.

Guys and girls do that regarding my height and small size, "jokingly" most of the time, for example there's this tall coach in the gym, he sometimes comes sneakily close behind me and tower me...... and I would be like "it's suddenly dark here" or throws some other joke, and I have no choice but to stay cool about it because people (like you, LKL, you are definitely one of those) would say I am having Napoleon syndrome for the slightest defensive reaction on that.

They often do that in front of girls for some reason .

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 25 Feb 2016, 4:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

First you said:

"I've dated short and tall guys. Major disadvantage of the former was Napoleon syndrome - sort of an over sensitivity to 'disrespect' from other guys, and concomitant aggressiveness. "

So it's all short guys.


Then you said:
"Seriously, a couple of short guys I dated were sensitive about their height. Other short guys I've dated and/or known weren't."

So it's only a couple of short guys you dated.

and now you are saying:
" No. I painted the short guys that I've dated with a psychological syndrome."

......and now it's ALL the short guys you dated. Seriously?


"Frankly, it think as*hole men and your dominance plays cause a lot more grief to short men than women (especially their girlfriends) do. "

Maybe, but women like you too don't help at all to minimize this.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 25 Feb 2016, 4:54 am, edited 3 times in total.

Btw, since you are saying all the ones you dated have this psychological syndrome: most psychological studies show that Napoleon syndrome is a myth and in psychology, the Napoleon complex is regarded as a derogatory social stereotype.

Read:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Napoleon_ ... ite_note-5


Researches are certainly more objective and credible than your views, LKL.

But research matters very little in casual conversations and enforcing pecking orders.

He couldn't do s**t with me because heeled shoes are not good for walking long distances, much less hiking or backpacking. I wanted someone to go places with, not an ornament.


Well, since you mention it... My sister-in-law (~5', I think). She always has her back up and assumes that people are treating her like a child, so she comes off as snappy and aggressive. Otoh, my best friend in college was just under 4' tall and, while she would correct people who condescended to her with no patience, she didn't carry a chip on her shoulder and did everything the rest of her friends did (she was like a spider at the rock gym. None of us could out-climb her). There are also a combination of very short and very tall at any aikido dojos I've ever been in, and if anything the short people have an advantage because they have a lower center of gravity and can often move faster. A tall person has to come down out of their own natural space to attack a shorter one, and it's pretty easy for a shorter person (with a little training) to take that lean and exacerbate it into a fall; some of our training even played this up by having a standing person attack a sitting one, and it wasn't the sitting person who had a hard time making it through the exercise.

The word "syndrome" is what got your back up? Ok, I can agree with you on that: "Napoleon syndrome" is a colloquial term and has no actual diagnostic significance afaIk. I was using it for 'short person who is socially insecure because of his shortness,' if that makes you feel a little better. I can also agree with you that said insecurity is not the short person's fault, but is the fault of a**holes who try to take advantage of it. {edit: snipped details of ex that are starting to form too detailed of a picture to hand to a stranger without permission}

{snip details about ex}

That may be true. I don't give a damn about height, flat chests, or (moderate) obesity, as long as someone can go for a walk with me and hold a decent conversation; it boggles my mind a little bit that there are people who not only do, but care enough to mock other people for it, or to feel like they have to wear heeled shoes/get boob jobs/have chunks of their digestive tracts removed to correct it.

Last edited by LKL on 25 Feb 2016, 9:30 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Dude. Why are you so concerned about this that you are fisking my responses? Yes, I was imprecise, because this isn't a thesis challenge. I don't care enough about your opinion to do more than respond; I'm not re-reading each response to check for accuracy or flow. Furthermore, I don't know you well enough to *be* precise about my dating history even though you are apparently more interested in it than I am.

Isn't that kind of being imprecise that made you feel that L&D is unfriendly to women and alienating them? Like when guys complain how "women are X and Y" (obviously only the ones they know) without being precise.

And you talk as if Tall men never get angry, never have insecurity or chip on shoulder for other things, be real, seriously.

I've won the debate, you're obviously and undeniably at the fault here.

What kind of guy shoes is that?

Sounds to me like you're macking technique isn't working on LKL.

^ School boy.

Eyeah, I don't think that the problem here is mine...

Maybe it's because you are seen as shy and guys don't want to make you uncomfortable by flirting. They also may not think they have a chance.

Also, guys who do the rude stuff like cat-calling aren't always doing it because they're super attracted. Men are attracted to pretty much any women who shows off her body. Cat-calling is a way of harassing women who show off their bodies, i.e. "slut shaming". It has little to do with attractiveness. If you dress modestly you probably won't get that kind of negative attention no matter how attractive you are. Those guys are a**holes. You wouldn't want their attention.