Can Men And Women Just Be Friends?

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Notice it's mostly women saying yes and men saying no.

FYI guys don't tell their female friend they'll attracted to them and would want to sex them. So the women would never know and therefore think the none feelings were mutual.

Yes I have and still do, although I haven't see them in a while due to them having to buy a house out of London due to the prices and them having to look after their young son.

I would like a few more.

Also thoughts are not actions. Fantasy is not reality.

Whether or not it black or white doest matter. So long as all parties prefer the relationship as it is.

The problem lies when one party forms an attachment and can't see past it.

There are both men and women who flirt, but it is not intended to be serious.

Few things are 100% black and white as far as transient thoughts go, and we do have instinct. However that don't equate to what we actually want overall.

On the rare occasion that women crushed/fixated on me, not always would I be able to be friends with them.

A couple of occasions I wasn't able to put up with them due to how they acted.

I have also fixated and ended up getting used. I had to drag myself out, and force myself to get over it. Then I wonder years later what it was I saw in them.

Yes 'fantasy is not reality' and some brief sexual fantasies does not mean we actually are attracted to them, but it still negates the purpose of things remaining strictly platonic.

I have never ever had any sort of sexual thoughts towards any family members or male friends. THAT is strictly platonic.

The fact I might have any thought, even if for just a second, of a female friend that is sexual, that's not platonic.

Even if I wouldn't act on it, even if the thoughts were brief and never came back, it's still proof my biology has kicked in, if for just a brief moment, and wants me to get into her pants or date her.

"Notice it's mostly women saying yes and men saying no."

And older men, e.g. 30+. Men who have matured enough to have strictly platonic friendships, but then again even kraftiekortie admits he's attracted to his female friends. Despite the fact he ignores the feelings, they still exist.

"FYI guys don't tell their female friend they'll attracted to them and would want to sex them. So the women would never know and therefore think the none feelings were mutual."

Exactly. And for some reason women never make such an assumption. It might sound sexist of me but I do consider it a little naive to assume every male friend you've ever had and ever will have is not physically attracted to you, and even after one proves he is, some still assume no future male friends could possibly feel the same as well.

I personally assume every female friend I ever make will only ever see things as completely platonic, and this is usually the case. It would be a nice little ego boost if one of them ever was attracted to me in anyway, but none ever are...

But if a female friend was ever attracted to me, I would still be open to the possibility one might be again someday.

How about we get the opinion of some younger men and women in here? Let's see what the other millenials aside from me have to say!

Honestly why are people even worried about this?

You think that women don't have these transient feelings too?

I remember my friend talking about her sex dreams.

They sure can.
Many of my friends (more than half actually) are female, and they stayed friends for several years already. Single, bad breakups, in a relationship again...

Sure, some of them are quite physically attractive to me, i won't lie about that, but that doesn't affect the friendship.
If the opening statement is true, then gays can't be platonic friends with other gays either (or even with straight men for that matter), yet i see nobody making that claim.

"this is my new thought process. new as in, i used to have a (stupid) suspicion that there were a few interested in me, but they repressed it.

i soon repressed that feeling, and it may have made me less...creepy."

Welcome to the club.

When a male is friend's with a female, it is better to assume he is attracted to her until proven otherwise.

And for the female in the friendship, assume the exact opposite until proven otherwise.

For males, evidence is any sign, even small signals, that he is attracted to her even slightly or had been in any possible way. Even small things that may mean nothing, assume that means he is DEFINITELY attracted to her.

For the females, assume she is only attracted to him when evidence is very strong, clear and in-your-face obvious. No matter how much she may subtly flirt with him and hint attraction, only assume she's attracted to him once they start actually dating or she confesses her feelings.

Some things don't need to be proven by studies or statistics but are just 'facts of life'.

Facts of your own life, at least.

The evidence is your own experiences.

"Honestly why are people even worried about this?"

Because it often results in people (especially the men) ending up hurt by rejection and unrequited love.

Because men seem so much more likely to fall for a female friend, this typically results in a male developing an attraction to his female friend after a long-time, while it's much rarer for her to do the same.

Of course it would be a matter of concern and debate if one believes men and women can't be 'just friends'.

I can't be 'just friends' with any woman or female. Ever.

What does this mean for my life, and the live's of anyone else who feels the same? That is the question.

I was rejected by a female friend not wiling to give me a chance. When she had a crush on a male friend who didn't feel the same way, he still gave her a chance and they became engaged after less than 3 months of dating and apparently still are today while I silently wish vengeance.

"You think that women don't have these transient feelings too?"

Yes.

"I remember my friend talking about her sex dreams."

Of course women feel attraction to men. But do they ever feel attraction to you, her male friend? For me and seemingly many other ,males, the answer is always no.

It is silly to expect your friends to be attracted to you, and I do not expect or specifically ask for such a thing, I just get frustrated for myself and behalf of all males who end up succumbing to unrequited love because it's just so much harder for a woman to fall for her friend than a man is.

I guess you're right about that. Truthfully friendships can become platonic.

Usually though it's after they enter relationships or otherwise become unavailable in some other way (they are in love with someone else, you are, etc.)

Or, after one makes an extreme effort to set-up boundaries, suppress and deny all feelings and attraction toward them.

I'd certainly like to see evidence of any male who NEVER felt any sort of attraction, physical or otherwise, no passing thoughts, no curiosity, no what-ifs, and certainly didn't have to put any effort into setting up boundaries or denying such urges.

It seems against our biology for such a thing to be achievable, at least for some.

"then it's no longer platonic and never will be again."

That one certainly applies/d to me though.

I hope someday I can actually be attracted to a female friend but things, at least eventually, turn platonic for me.

In fact, if anything, I don't think I ever really overcame any actual crushes, either, because every time I see a former crush or ex, even if it was only a minor attraction and I haven't seem them in over a year, the attraction almost instantaneously comes back.

Teen hormones such (hopefully ).

I certainly want to be 'just friends' with a female, any female without any passing thoughts, but this seems very unrealistic.

I can't click any of those answers - they're too positive! I'm not absolutely certain of anything. Mostly I'm guessing my way through life.

Men and women can be friends. It's a possibility, though not an absolute.