What DOESN'T count as Nice Guy behavior?

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Not letting a door slam in a person's face -regardless of what gender they are - is a matter of courtesy. No one owes you sex for it.
No one owes anyone sex if they stand up when he or she comes into the room.
No one owes anyone sex if they pull out their chair or open a car door.
Courtesy - applied to both genders - does not entitle anyone to sex from anyone else, though it does make existing in a human society somewhat nicer.

Chivalry, on the other hand, used to be the sort of fake respect that men gave to women who toed the line and graciously accepted their complete lack of social, economic, and political power; the same men who stood up when a woman walked into a room would simultaneously badmouth their own wives behind their backs and mock the men who didn't stand up for women as 'disrespectful,' even when those 'disrespectful' men joined with the women as equals to plot a revolution.

I mean that's a pretty blanketed statement. How can you generalize all men like that?

I agree with nurseangela.

People aren't black and white 'good' or 'bad'.

To be fair, I believe most people are horrible, including myself.

Selfish, greedy, manipulative, liars, cowards, hypocritical, arrogant, rude, cruel, sadistic, awful, etc.

We're all flawed in our own ways.

I respect people more who admit to their flaws rather than think they lack any.

There's plenty of 'good' people who may speak badly of others behind their backs, just as someone who is critical and says negative things about you to your face may be considered the 'a55høle'.

My group of ex-friends in high school may have been feminist LGBT all-inclusive western marxist types, but they loved to gossip and some of them hypocritically claimed they weren't afraid to say things to other's faces when their actions showed the contrary.

Someone who speaks badly of others behind their back because they dislike the person or they like the person but the person simply does things they dislike or frustrate them (e.g. a 'nice guy' getting frustrated he's working hard to improve himself and pursue women but they keep leading him on and not giving him a proper 'no' before rejecting him seemingly out of nowhere when he thought things were going well) isn't a bad person, they are NORMAL (at least before age 30), and it is just foolishly blind optimism to assume otherwise.

All these explanations and analysis in this thread are so....déjà vu.

I wonder why.... hmmm... what a mystery. Where did I see all of this before? It feels like I have seen them for the millionth time. o_o

Maybe....I was a girl who dated a lot of Nice Guys for an entire lifetime in my previous incarnation.

So, basically the gist of it when broken down is, don't befriend women whom you are attracted to because you'll catch feelings.

No lmao. That's not the gist, the gist is learn to separate your attraction from the friendship and don't feel like you're entitled to reciprocal sexual and/or romantic interest.

It's entirely about motive and reaction. If the entire reason you're befriending someone is because you want to have sex with and/or date them, then you probably shouldn't befriend them, because you don't actually to be their friend at all. And if you do befriend them don't get angry and act like they denied you your due if they reject you at some point.

As I said, I have befriended people I was romantically attracted to, but it wasn't creepy because I also wanted to be their friend, and I never pushed my interest on them, and had it come up I wouldn't have thrown a fit if they rejected me, and would even go out of my way to make sure I didn't make them uncomfortable.

Ignore the "nice guys finish last" crap.

I don't know whether it's really crap or not-- it is with me, but I have known a lot of women who s**t on and reject nice guys.

You want my opinion, quite a few of those women are, well, b*****s. I guess if you just want to have sex that doesn't matter, but if you're looking to marry then avoiding attracting b*****s is an asset IMO.

Me, I looked for one that was already nice, and didn't keep trying to be a dick because he had a complex about it.

Thanks to his dad and culture BS, he kind of developed a complex about it anyway, but... At least he's a nice guy most of the time. And he's an excellent father, which kind of makes up for the times when BS makes him decide that the productive, manly thing to do is be a dick to me.

I've obviously stayed in love with him for 17 years now, or I wouldn't have put up with the Strong Manly Man TM s**t.

Be the person you actually want to see when you look in the mirror. Someone you respect, that you're comfortable with and can sustain being over the course of a lifetime (because burnout sucks). If you don't know who that is, or can't figure it out through the bloody miasma of s**t society feeds people about who they should want to be, then take the time to sort it out before you start dating people (even if you're just looking to screw-- I've known a lot of people who have regretted all the people they screwed in their 20s and 30s while trying to figure out who they were, and I have a cousin who got herself two kids with a narcissistic abuser that way).

If you find someone, then you've found someone who honestly likes you for the person that it pleases you to be.

And if you don't, then at least you like the person you have to look at while you brush your teeth.

And as far as the whole Fake Nice Guy thing goes-- just don't do it.

Do whatever you want if you're just trying to hook up-- at least as long as you practice affirmative consent. In general, I consider consent to be consent. But I take a very dim view of hookup culture and the moral standards and mental/emotional stability of the people who practice it-- so CYA and practice affirmative consent.

If you're actually dating with the idea of finding a partner some day-- just don't do the fake ass crap. It just leads to trouble. Don't waste your time and energy trying to manipulate women to get what you want. Be who you organically want to be, and keep looking until you find someone who organically gives you what you want.

Somewhat anyway. Because if you think you're going to find some way to play people into getting your way more than half the time, well, I hope you're like 19 or something, because then it's perfectly all right to still have a lot of growing up to do.

I don't think most men think they are "entitled" to sex or affection from women.

I also believe a person's body is the person's temple. Man, or woman, have Eminent Domain over it.

You can't just tell a man who's single "Don't let your feelings get in the way of friendship". It's not some switch, or mental barrier you can put up. Men just can't go and pick out who they want to date the way women can, thus they have a harder time with having attractive female friends than women do having attractive male friends. The women can get men anytime they want. The men always have to work for it, no matter how attractive they are, especially because women don't date men solely on appearance. They might have sex with them based on appearance alone, but even that is rare.