aside from sperm, what good are men?

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I was a little angry and upset last night thinking about my own situation and I apologize to anyone for losing it. I try not to think about my situation because it just makes me start crying.

I'm like your two friends who are still alone. Why have I turned down some dates? Let's just look at what has happened lately. In my condo building, my neighbor told me that there were two men who were asking about me. One is 60 something and just divorced about a year ago - I'm not interested in dating a 60 yr old. The other was a doctor in training at KU who was asking about me too, which sounds all great since I'm a nurse, BUT he was living with another YOUNGER woman who just graduated as a nurse. Why would I want someone like that?! I keep getting the idiots that are interested and even they can't approach me. Then the ones I ask out think I'm easy and want sex right away. Screw that. I'm expected to date guys in their 50's and 60's, but I don't look as old as them! I try to stay in shape and exercise and make something out of myself going to school hoping that I can find some guy who is the same way - somewhat attractive, decent job and some ambition, but why would they go for me now? The guys my age are wanting younger women. I don't even get it because all they are going to get is a bunch of drama. I'm already settled and have no baggage, no kids, no ex-husbands - nothing. Evidently I look good or the men in just my building wouldn't be asking about me. When I go out to the grocery stores I keep seeing guys look at me, but I guess none feel like they can approach me. I don't wear any rings so they know I'm not married. I really don't get it. But then guys start talking to me (one's that I'm not interested in mind you) when I don't have any makeup on and look like crap. This is what I think - the guys I want think that the women should be falling all over them and those are the women they go after. I don't fall all over guys. I come from a time when men should be the ones asking a woman out. I have asked men out too, and you see where it got me. I have tried dating sites and the men that say anything don't even have good jobs! Wth. I believe that I have something to offer and I'm not just going to settle for anyone that comes along. But now, I have waited too long and probably will never have a chance at having a family since I don't want to adopt - something men don't have to worry about. However, I still am trying to have some hope of finding that one special Hunny. I try not to think about it because all that will do is make me depressed, so I try to work on things about myself that need improvements for if and when my Hunny shows up. Sitting around bellyaching about it will only give me another wrinkle or gray hair and I surely don't need that!

Yeah, I agree. It didn't sound man friendly.

It's like what I'm constantly battling against. I keep getting told I'm better off without a man.

I like men.

Although that point about the extra child supported my point that women want an equal not someone else to look after.

I'm not even saying that's wrong for women to want that, it's smart! If I had a daughter, it's what I'd want her to do! It makes 100% logical sense. It just sucks for all the people considered below you and those that have their own struggles. Biology is a cruel SOB, none of us are actually created equal and there is no real equity between the sexes or anything. Everything varies, it's all shades of gray, some have it bad and some have it worse.

Being alone sucks, it's a terrible thing. Having a few close friends and family might bridge the gap and maybe even make some people contented but truly being alone is one of the worst things a person can experience. I don't understand it, I've been alone inside my head long enough that I think if I stay in it by myself that I'll eventually go insane. Like I am serious, there does come a point when it is really is pointless and nothing good can be expected to follow. I'm about half way there, I am trying hard as I can to keep myself together and get on my feet but the future terrifying thought. The only solace I can take is that I never expected to where I am now 5 years ago so who knows where 5 year from now will be, hopefully a better more contented place. I don't want that much out of relationship, I don't think I'm such a terrible person once you get to know me and all I really want is companionship and someone on my side that is happier with me on this planet than without.

I never said that dating NT women sucks.

My love-life situation sucks, and sometimes I meet some individuals who suck (figuratively, not bj, you perverts...)....but that's a different story.
Nor I know which gender has it harder, I am just telling what some bi women told me.

Maybe not accusing any woman who disagrees with you about what life is like for autistic women of being a man-hater would help you feel a little better about yourself and your life. Attacking and insulting others rarely works in treating one's own misery and depression--it tends to compound it, instead. Dating and socialising is hard for autistic women, too; just because some cultures have different gender expectations does not make it any easier for autistic women to socialise and make connections with other people. Try not dismissing us when we tell you what our experience has been and maybe you'll get a better response and won't have to feel so sh***y about yourself. Feeling sh***y about being lonely (something I can pretty much guarantee you that all the autistic women on this forum can relate to, because WE FEEL LONELY TOO) is not an excuse to be a jerk to people and call them "man-haters". Also, personally insulting one of the mods is just a bad idea, unless you're trying to get banned.

Yeah, Angela I don't get it either. I know some other women in the same position as you. NT, just working away, living their lives, no baggage, look after themselves, but not meeting anyone either.

For what it's worth you're not alone.

What about the doc who was living with the younger nurse? What if after living with her, he was like, well that was a mistake, I need someone like Angela instead. What if it was just a mistake. What if there is potential there?

I get it. It's irritating when men my own age go out with younger women. It hurts, like being slapped, but I kind of understand, I'm trying to see past that with someone. Maybe he's ready for growing up.

That's a nice positive thing to say. Keep at it.

I'm just highlighting this for the lurkers.

"Hell, the oldest women in Scotland at 106 years (and a non-married virgin) gave her advice for living a long, happy life which was essentially, "Eat right, exercise, and stay away from men."

I need to look up that 106 yr old. She sounds like my kinda gal!

I don't want someone who is already looking for the next better thing to come along while they are still with the last person. They will just end up doing that to me. There has to be some Hunny out there like me. Now I'm like in the middle - I'm too young to date the older guys and I'm too old to date the younger ones. Why is it ok for men to date younger? Aren't there any men who think that age isn't a factor? I surely don't look or act my age. It's depressing. Next thing you'll see in the paper will be "American woman in Kansas who just turned 106 and has never been married with no kids". Ugh.

That's not what XFG wrote at all; ONE she replied to my post first essentially telling me my problem was that I needed to get ****'d and that's where my problems all come from which I think you would have a literal aneurysm if any man said that to you here. THEN she writes saying all these terrible things about how men victimize women and basically summing it up that women are better off with alone or with other women because men are apparently emotional babies that don't bring anything to the table but money. That's not an experience that I am dismissing, that's a bitter rant that I commented on and I really don't think she likes men that much. That' not a personal insult, does she feel insulted by it? Does she even disagree?

Oooh he's still living with her. Didn't pick up on that. The "was" refers to him having a conversation past tense, not his living arrangements being past tense. Yeah, that's a red flag.

OK time out people, back to your corners. Go have a cup of tea and cool down.

...I never thought I'd see a day where a gender thread on Wrong Planet would get personal...

Its curious that the only other true social species (ants,bees, etc) have reduced males to simply that.

But it hasn't removed the roles men have typically performed, like fighting, hunting, and such. Females, sometimes specialized (ie Soldier ants) just assume the tasks.

So I guess it is scientifically feasible that humans could do it.

Just the other day I got an overly friendly hello from a 30-something gal at the Customer Service desk--I was a good 25 feet away so it wasn't exactly business small talk. Of course she knows I'm a widow, and more than likely has found out that I live in a single family home with a new car--and infers that I'd have no trouble supporting a stay at home mom--which, for the gals who have to work retail where I live, is a big step up in social status.

Perhaps, but notice those are also arthropods, not mammals.