Some men responses on this matter over the internet, I was surprised that so many other men think like on this (but not the majority, which is sad for the men):
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Thread: I am talking to this girl. She is in my office campus. We used to see each other around the campus. She sent me a friend request and we started talking from there on.
It has been two weeks and we have met about 3-4 times and regularly text. But she never initiates meetings. I have to contact her always but she always readily agrees. She is a bit awkward in person but is quite open when texting.
Usually I have to initiate the conversation, always have to ask questions. She just freakin responds. Rarely asks questions. Only initial text messages contain good morning. After my response there is a nothing.
I feel like this is going nowhere. Any advice?
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You just haven't left a good enough impression. Trust in, if you did, she would be blowing you up, especially if she is a texter.
The chit about just responding during convo, welcome to majority of women, no fukin personality. Makes you a good communicator though! Perceive it as practice but know that these relationships end up boring as the only time you talk is when you say something.
Don't contact her as often (every 2-3 days), look for a way to make fun of her lack of initiating, hint there are other women in the picture without saying it, ensure she has a good time in your presence and it should improve things for you.
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You've gotta give her time to initiate. If she never initiates, that should be a red flag. Stop texting first, stop doing anything first. When she initiates or makes first moves, be sure to encourage her for that.
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Lack of communication/terrible communication = red flag and you shouldn't even attempt a relationship with said person.
Go NC right now.
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If a women truly likes you, she will initiate with you no matter what, whether it'd be a convo or meeting up, no matter if she's doing her hair, doing the dishes, cooking, cleaning, etc...if she really likes you she'll always talk to you, doesn't matter who texts who first.
You sound too clingy, needy and have too much free time. She senses this.
Result:
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So guys there has been an update. After reducing contact for a day or two. We just had a casual 5-10 min text conversation. I kept it short. When I met her, we had some flirty conversation and towards the end of the conversation I maintained eye contact for second or two with saying nothing. I could see her blushing which looked to me a positive sign the way she smiled.
She sent me a teasing message about valentine's day the same night. Her conversation seemed like she wanted me to ask her out. So i did. We are deciding on the day as I am out of town on valentine's day. Sucks, I know.
Result 2:
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Just to update the new posters. BTW the situation has changed a lot now. I see her initiating almost all the conversations and it's the other way around. Thanks guys.
Edit: I guess she just needed some time to come out of her comfort zone.
From another website:
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I personally hate that type of behavior. As a man, I also like to feel as though I am wanted, but it the woman seemingly never initiates contact, it makes her seem as though she isn't that into me
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Agreed. For many of us, those who are interested in us become more interesting to us. Male desire to be wanted is not to be underestimated.
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I would start the convo 2-3 times in the beginning and if she does not start the convo the 3-4 th times then I would leave her and I would go and find another one...SIMPLE...
I know a girl can be shy and she might not start a convo the first couple of times , so I may start it the first couple of times but then I expect her to start a convo else I would feel like a Jerk...
That' s ME..
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Generally, Yes! If she's playing games or not putting in equal effort, it's because she's not that into you. If she's giving you 20% she thinks she can do better. When a girl is really interested she will through herself in front of you and trip over babies to do it. =P
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Means she could care less if she talks to you or not or probably likes someone else better who she is talking to. That looking desperate is bullsh*t, if she liked you she would initiate at least sometimes. Take it for what it is.
From another website:
Question: She never initiates our conversations. Should I stop talking to her?
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I am cynical and say yes.
Look, no friendship or relationship can work if one person makes the effort and the other person doesn't. There was a girl like this at university. I would always stop and talk to her. Then I was having a bad week and she never came up and talked to me. After that I only ever said hello when I saw her and never stopped to talk.
She even asked her friends why I wasn't talking to her. She could never work out that all had to for a conversation is to stop and talk to me. I was always friendly to her and she could have talked to me at any time. But she didn't.
Now imagine if we were closer friends or something more?
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first, lt her know what you are feeling about and give her some time to change. if this continues , then you can stop talking to her. but, don't trouble your mind thinking all this.
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Make yourself less available to her. If still things remains unchanged stop talking to her and don't give her a reason.
From another website:
Thread: (Guy ranting about girl who replies long text but NEVER initiates...)
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dont text her for a week or two... if she texts you shes interested in you.
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You gotta put up with it! Resist temptation and if she is interested, she will bug you. If not... then time to move on.
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If you are beggining to date someone, you dont want to give out a ton of your info. Drag out your life story so youll seem more interesting and mysterious. From now on you only call or text her if your gonna ask her out on a date. Its gonna be rough but at least youll know weather she likes you or not and if you can move on.
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She's showing plenty of signs of interest, but won't initiate conversation
Come on now, isn't it obvious?
You're clearly misreading the situation into thinking she is interested, when in actuality it sounds as if she just enjoys flirting.
Enjoying flirting =/= enjoying you.
Now, don't read too much into my cynicism. It doesn't mean she can't become interested, but you should be wary of the possibility that she is just flirting with you because you're there....with no other ulterior motive. If a girl messages me, I usually respond back, even in a flirty manner (even if they aren't single...) just because. I don't have an interest in pursuing them, but hey, it's fun.
On the other hand, initiating conversation can be an indicator of interest, but it's not 100%. Recently my ex started messaging me a lot. She's been posting stuff on my wall almost daily, and pretty much IMs me every time I log on. This came all of a sudden after being on non-speaking terms for over half a year since our break up. I'm kind of wary because a) she broke up with me, and I fell in love with her (something I don't say lightly), so the break up was especially hard on me. Took me about half a year to get over her, and b) she currently has a boyfriend.
But wait, she initiates conversation with me 9 out of 10 times. Doesn't that mean she is interested? Not exactly.
My advice TC? Just ask her out on a date. Regardless of how she responds, it'll remove the doubt you're obsessing about. But before you do I'd wait and not talk to her for a few days. Not to see if she tries to initiate or anything, but just so you don't seem too eager.
RESULT:
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Rejoice! She messaged me after I held out for 5 days!
She just said "CHRIS!" and isn't doing too much to fuel the conversation, but she initiated it. So we're just BS talking now.
Now I'm struggling to come up with a segue from smalltalk to a date... that sounds dumb, but the context of this conversation is hard to work with. Any ideas?
I told ThisAdamGuy to hold it and it worked for him; but it's him who ended the relationship later.
Hold it for a while, if she never initiates, and see if she does! Always do it.
14 Jan 2017, 9:20 pm
