Women As The Breadwinners

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It's all about what you'll accept in a relationship. Once you accept a certain "way" of how the other acts, then that is a green light for them too keep acting in that fashion and you can't say anything about it. It has to be nipped in the bud from the get-go. If the other person is unwilling to change or make some sort of a compromise, then you have to decide if you can live with what is happening or leave.

I need a Hunny with some sort of ambition - someone who has some goals and wants to better themselves. Otherwise, it is going to irk me if I'm going to school to get a better job that pays more and they are just sitting on the couch playing video games and working a dead-end 9-5 job. I guess they would have to have some sort of a career to keep them busy or some kind of hobby that they can excel in. I want to have some fun times with my Hunny like hobbies that we can share or traveling, but I don't want to have to be entertaining them constantly. And they better not be getting drunk or drugging or their butt would be out the door so quick their head would spin.

Real responsibility in my career has consisted of refusal to expand or maintain modern military capability. Some knowledge is more stressful than nearly any job. Because of my deference I actually can talk about this but I get the impression that in this thread, 'equal' means little. Some jobs necessitate responsibility towards everyone in one's life & we should be respectful to anyone's work. If you're saying someone's not your equal because of THEIR decisions, it's no different from claiming the right to all those same choices. If you put on a uniform before work we appreciate that but keep in mind many others left one off for equally informed reasons. The stressful part is the ignorance of this though, I get just as stereotyped in what I do as anyone in the military could because we're treating social merit & profession like a tuxedo's corsage or something. I could pick your cat's nose from a satellite if I tried but I'm just 1 simple person, seriously.

I don't understand anything you just said. But if Waldo does have any boogers in his nose, would you please get them removed?

nurseangela, aren't you tired from your quest for finding a hubby at your age?

^^Then please read it for comprehension. All I'm saying is that mods shouldn't be spreading disrespect & that uniformed or not, many people are more dutiful & responsible than they appear. Saying such & such work is for responsible people & everyone else can keep their noses out of that line of thinking is nuts, period. All kinds of people make life & death choices for themselves & others, it's life. I may be accused of illiteracy in conversations like these but irresponsibility as a factor of my masculinity? Good luck with that. Some people accept more responsibility than death & taxes.

No, because I'm not actively looking. I figure if it happens then it happens. I think in the back of my mind that the chance of it happening are pretty low because I do have several things on my "list" that are actual dealbreakers. That's why I'm not holding my breath and I keep continuing on with improving my own self with school and hobbies. Right now, I'm trying to build up the number of friends I have so I can fill my social needs.

That can be even harder than dating.

I have this problem too, adults of my age range are all already 'locked' in their own social circles, and no one seems to have the energy to make new friends.

That's because "real" friends are hard to come by. It takes years to build a friendship and memories. I'm presently going to this knitting and crochet group that has about 50 women attending. Thank God I go with Mary and her sister-in-law so I know someone there. Even with all of those people there I still feel lonely because they all know each other from attending for awhile and knitting is pretty much a solo activity as it is. Most of the women are older than me and of course with women it is a lot of competition about whose project is more complicated (meaning that person must be more skilled). Some are even knitting teachers. You would think that they would be open to helping others, but when I asked about how I should knit on a pocket for this one shawl I had, this knitting teacher just said "I'd probably do the mattress stitch". I tried to get more info on what the mattress stitch is and how it is knitted, but nothing. Guess I'm going to have to look it up myself which is how I also learned how to knit and crochet - by myself with Youtube and dvd's. I get more satisfaction being around Waldo - he may just say "meow" repeatedly, but at least it seems like he's interested in trying to have a conversation with me.

Still have no clue what you're talking about, but thanks for playing.

With my job, I wouldn't mind being the breadwinner if I had a stay-at-home man to take care of things- cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, taking care of me when I'm sick, walking the dogs, etc. That's assuming we're completely compatible in other ways. That narrows the field down pretty far though. Most of society has been socialized to think of a stay-at-home guy as a loser.

Wait so I'm gambling with a ban because you think responsibility is only conferred by certain jobs? We're discussing the male capacity for responsibility outside work anyway. I think part of responsibility is also sufficient humility to quiet your presumptions of others' inferiority. For what it's *probably not* worth to you I love cooking & even carpentry despite accusations of sheltered conditioning. I know the groupthink & working conditions of most uniformed services, which is why I serve those I can through other means. If guys are judged by nothing but income or alternately responsibility, those judging just aren't considering who they are.

Honestly what are you moderating?

I understood that.

That's because the things you listed are things that should be able to be accomplished with both people working. Things only change (in my opinion) when children are involved, otherwise, both people should be working and doing housework.

I can't work over 25 hours. It's too much. But a 5 hour shift for me is 9-10 hours after travel time. Far too stressful and exhausting for me giving my issues so I make probably about 1300 a month with ssi and my pay.

What does a guy like me do?

For contrast I know for a fact I can work 60+ hours a week but I know the health risks just as well. Guys are subject to ridiculous expectations for different reasons. Bolstering my attractiveness monetarily does nothing physically.

Get back to school and later find the best job that you can get.