Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Why do you think a relationship will make you happy?

Page 7 of 27 [ 422 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ... 27  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,748
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

16 Jul 2017, 7:37 am

CharityGoodyGrace wrote:
In QUANTITY of love, a relationship with your mom CAN be the same as with a boyfriend or girlfriend. The difference is in the details, what the details are rather than how much of it there is.


That still doesn't negate the need for a romantic relationship for most people.

If it did do you think there would have been so many gay people fighting for the right marry? They obviously feel that they have something more special than a connection with family or friends.

It's ok if you don't get that, but please understand it's not the same for everyone. We are all different.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,185
Location: Adelaide, Australia

16 Jul 2017, 8:17 am

Outrider wrote:
The so called greatest coubtry in th world despite horribly lagging services for the disabled, Indigenous, poor/unemployed, even the youth.
Every country says they're the best country in the world.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


rdos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2005
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,096
Location: Sweden

16 Jul 2017, 8:34 am

Closet Genious wrote:
CharityGoodyGrace wrote:
It would make me happiER, but not the only thing that will. I made the mistake before of thinking a romantic relationship was a deeper relationship than any other kind. I was wrong. Your relationship with your mother, or your friend, or your uncle, or your professor, or your neighbor can be just as deep.


I completely agree with this perspective. My few long lasting friendships, are way deeper than any relationship I've ever had with the opposite sex.


I completely disagree with it. :wink:

I mostly don't find friendships worthwhile, and I don't have much of a contact with relatives. So, if it wasn't for special connections with a few girls, then I'd prefer to be a complete loner instead.

Closet Genious wrote:
Part of that of course, is that there isn't the same risks involved with being completely open and honest with my male friends, as opposed to a relationship with a woman, where maintaining attraction will work against the possibility of discussing certain topics and emotions.


I'm the opposite. I'd never discuss more intimate or personal things with friends, but I might with the right girl. In fact, I think a spiritual connection can only form with a girl I have, or once had a crush on, which is what makes romantic relationships so special.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,185
Location: Adelaide, Australia

16 Jul 2017, 8:37 am

hurtloam wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
Be proud of the fact that you are still able to look after yourself, even though you are struggling alone. There are alot of people out there, who have large support networks and still can't dedicate themselves to do anything.


This is a really good statement and I think a lot of us need to think about this from time to time and realise how much we have actually managed to accomplish in our lives. We are by no means worthless.


It's so hard to do that when I think of all the things I haven't accomplished. All the milestones I should have passed by my age.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,748
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

16 Jul 2017, 8:46 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
Be proud of the fact that you are still able to look after yourself, even though you are struggling alone. There are alot of people out there, who have large support networks and still can't dedicate themselves to do anything.


This is a really good statement and I think a lot of us need to think about this from time to time and realise how much we have actually managed to accomplish in our lives. We are by no means worthless.


It's so hard to do that when I think of all the things I haven't accomplished. All the milestones I should have passed by my age.


Ah but that's the trick. You've got to force your brain not to think of the negatives, but look at the positives instead. Not easy, but it can be done with effort.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,185
Location: Adelaide, Australia

16 Jul 2017, 8:47 am

hurtloam wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
Be proud of the fact that you are still able to look after yourself, even though you are struggling alone. There are alot of people out there, who have large support networks and still can't dedicate themselves to do anything.


This is a really good statement and I think a lot of us need to think about this from time to time and realise how much we have actually managed to accomplish in our lives. We are by no means worthless.


It's so hard to do that when I think of all the things I haven't accomplished. All the milestones I should have passed by my age.


Ah but that's the trick. You've got to force your brain not to think of the negatives, but look at the positives instead. Not easy, but it can be done with effort.


I try but everyone keeps succeeding at things I failed at.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


rdos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2005
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,096
Location: Sweden

16 Jul 2017, 8:48 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
Be proud of the fact that you are still able to look after yourself, even though you are struggling alone. There are alot of people out there, who have large support networks and still can't dedicate themselves to do anything.


This is a really good statement and I think a lot of us need to think about this from time to time and realise how much we have actually managed to accomplish in our lives. We are by no means worthless.


It's so hard to do that when I think of all the things I haven't accomplished. All the milestones I should have passed by my age.


While it is nice to have accomplished things, it is pretty irrelevant for forming a worthwhile connection with a girl. Having passed the milestones of NTs is even less relevant, and possibly even detrimental to forming worthwhile connections.



Closet Genious
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jan 2017
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,225
Location: Sweden

16 Jul 2017, 8:51 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
Be proud of the fact that you are still able to look after yourself, even though you are struggling alone. There are alot of people out there, who have large support networks and still can't dedicate themselves to do anything.


This is a really good statement and I think a lot of us need to think about this from time to time and realise how much we have actually managed to accomplish in our lives. We are by no means worthless.


It's so hard to do that when I think of all the things I haven't accomplished. All the milestones I should have passed by my age.


The idea that you have to reach certain milestones is fiction, especially if your desire to reach them is not based upon what will make you happy. Focus on what you want, if you make decisions based on others opinions or societal expectations, you will never be happy.

It was the moment I detatched from all this nonsense, that I started to feel fulfilled.



hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,748
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

16 Jul 2017, 12:57 pm

I'm sick of being my treated like an idiot for wanting something normal. I feel like I'm not allowed to talk about it.



cberg
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Dec 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,183
Location: A swiftly tilting planet

16 Jul 2017, 12:58 pm

Um why are we predicating this whole thread on not being happy?


_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,748
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

16 Jul 2017, 1:05 pm

cberg wrote:
Um why are we predicating this whole thread on not being happy?


Because most of us here are not happy and the OP is telling us that a relationship won't make us happy either. The OP started this thread about unhappiness.

Funny thing is I know people in relationships who are happy, so the OPs assertion is pile of poo



cberg
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Dec 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,183
Location: A swiftly tilting planet

16 Jul 2017, 1:11 pm

I consider myself one of the happiest people alive. I do all kinds of things I love all the time. I'm not tricking myself or anything, there's always some kind of reason to be happy.


_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


boofle
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 16 Feb 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 300
Location: UK

16 Jul 2017, 1:18 pm

cberg wrote:
I consider myself one of the happiest people alive. I do all kinds of things I love all the time. I'm not tricking myself or anything, there's always some kind of reason to be happy.



agreed. being happy in one's own skin first, matters.

a positive mental attitude is attractive for most people/observers, which by turn tends to draw people.



Closet Genious
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jan 2017
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,225
Location: Sweden

16 Jul 2017, 1:23 pm

hurtloam wrote:
cberg wrote:
Um why are we predicating this whole thread on not being happy?


Because most of us here are not happy and the OP is telling us that a relationship won't make us happy either. The OP started this thread about unhappiness.

Funny thing is I know people in relationships who are happy, so the OPs assertion is pile of poo


Thanks for putting words in my mouth.. That's not at all what I said, I said relationships never made ME happy.



hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,748
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

16 Jul 2017, 1:34 pm

boofle wrote:
cberg wrote:
I consider myself one of the happiest people alive. I do all kinds of things I love all the time. I'm not tricking myself or anything, there's always some kind of reason to be happy.



agreed. being happy in one's own skin first, matters.

a positive mental attitude is attractive for most people/observers, which by turn tends to draw people.


I was when I was younger. Do you think we all started adulthood like this? It's been the years and years of loneliness and rejection that has destroyed me. I used to be more positive and guess what, no one liked me then either.



hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,748
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

16 Jul 2017, 1:37 pm

Closet Genious wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
cberg wrote:
Um why are we predicating this whole thread on not being happy?


Because most of us here are not happy and the OP is telling us that a relationship won't make us happy either. The OP started this thread about unhappiness.

Funny thing is I know people in relationships who are happy, so the OPs assertion is pile of poo


Thanks for putting words in my mouth.. That's not at all what I said, I said relationships never made ME happy.


Ahhh, Cool thanks for clarifying.

In real life I do get a lot of, "well you should just be happy on your own. A relationship won't make you happy blah blah blah" so that's why I jumped to defensive mode.