My 20's were wasted

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Marknis
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28 Sep 2017, 3:46 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:

green0star wrote:

I think for males its over 25 when the insurance rates go down xD And of course in NY its MUCH cheaper to get your license when you're older as opposed to being a teenager still

In my province they eliminated discrimination based on age/gender. Instead, all the insurance companies look at either a)years of being continually insured or b)years licensed. In other words, you can get a license at 16, not drive for 10+ years at all and still be classified at 'very low risk'. Meanwhile, you can drive continuously, have a perfect driving record, have a small gap in insurance due to buying a new car a month later and be labelled as 'very high risk'. I once had my company double my rates and label me as a brand new driver because I had a brief gap in insurance when I got my own car and off my parents plan. I switched companies after that nonsense. Another threated to drop me and send my file to the fraud department because I still lived with my parents and never disclosed it (they had their own plan and never touched my car). WTF?

Back to the topic at hand, you may think you 'wasted' that time by being single but other people would say they 'wasted' it by being wasted all the time, not saving money and getting into bad relationships. It's all in how you look at it.

The thing is that they can re-enter the dating scene if they desire to do so while I can't even find the doorway.

RetroGamer87
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28 Sep 2017, 4:32 pm

The doorway is dating sites.

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wanderlust77
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28 Sep 2017, 4:53 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:

The doorway is dating sites.

The doorway to even more frustration is dating sites if you don't mind me to correct you.

RetroGamer87
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28 Sep 2017, 5:17 pm

Not necessarily the doorway to frustration.

I met all of my girlfriends on dating sites.

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sly279
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28 Sep 2017, 6:06 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Not necessarily the doorway to frustration.

I met all of my girlfriends on dating sites.

Never had a gf but all my dates I have had are from dating sites. Never met women in person, never been asked out by a woman in person

Marknis
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28 Sep 2017, 7:48 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Not necessarily the doorway to frustration.

I met all of my girlfriends on dating sites.

Please don't remind me. I couldn't even get a "Thanks, see you again never" date on those f*****g time wasters.

Outrider
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29 Sep 2017, 5:55 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Not necessarily the doorway to frustration.

I met all of my girlfriends on dating sites.

But were any of those relationships GOOD, or merely TOLERABLE?

I know some of your dating history from past posts on WP.

MARKINIS:

They key to use finding a relationship is LOVE, not "dating".

When people date, their standards are much higher and more cutthroat.

But if someone falls in love with you, naturally, they are more willing to overlook certain issues with yourself and your life because they WANT to be with you.

People who 'date' don't 'want' to be with 'you', they want to 'find love' and 'find somebody'.

When a person falls in love with YOU and only "you", youll have a better chance

GiantHockeyFan
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29 Sep 2017, 12:41 pm

Outrider wrote:

[They key to use finding a relationship is LOVE, not "dating".

When people date, their standards are much higher and more cutthroat.

But if someone falls in love with you, naturally, they are more willing to overlook certain issues with yourself and your life because they WANT to be with you.

Wise words. How many times have we heard about women staying with crappy men? It's practically a cliché about staying with (or returning to) an abusive partner as love is (partially) blind.

From my online dating experience I would love to go back to some of my first dates and tell some of these snotty, entitled princesses what I really thought of them, such as:

You are $40,000 in debt? Sorry, I would rather date someone who doesn't need to blow money on trips. I won't even comment on those hideous tattoos as they weren't cheap.
You have a failed marriage (or two)? I don't plan on being strike three: you're out!
You really think YOU are too good for ME? Hey, at least I have my own car and apartment.
You might think you are beautiful but trust me, you are anything but.
You said in our profile men need to step up their game to date you? Big words coming from a Home Depot cashier!

I would advise staying away from online dating sites if you wish to build confidence as that is not the place to do it.

Now that I am happily married, I see single women literally everywhere. I was just at the hospital and ran into two who mentioned about how difficult it was to find a decent man and all they can find are lazy, unmotivated losers. I had to bite my lip on that one!

Snugglebear
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29 Sep 2017, 1:58 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:

Outrider wrote:

I met my last two boyfriends online. The beauty of dating sites is that you can simply hit 'delete' when you get a message from someone with dealbreakers (for you) in their profile.

My dating philosophy is that it is unreasonable to expect of others what you don't expect of yourself. By keeping my expectations reasonable, dating does not send me screaming into the abyss.

Sabreclaw
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29 Sep 2017, 2:09 pm

Outrider wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Not necessarily the doorway to frustration.

I met all of my girlfriends on dating sites.

I agree wholeheartedly. Unfortunately, no guarantees anyone will ever just fall for you.

Marknis
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29 Sep 2017, 4:20 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:

Outrider wrote:

I have sworn off dating sites. They only brought me frustration, discouragement, and stress.

I really hate those types. They reject guys like me who would be glad to be with them and run to someone like my older brother but wonder why he's apathetic to their interests, doesn't do anything special for them, and gets mad at them when they don't want to have sex.

RetroGamer87
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01 Oct 2017, 2:59 am

Outrider wrote:

But were any of those relationships GOOD, or merely TOLERABLE?

They all had good bits and bad bits.

Outrider wrote:

They key to use finding a relationship is LOVE, not "dating".

How the heck do I do that?

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Marknis
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01 Oct 2017, 3:03 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Outrider wrote:

But were any of those relationships GOOD, or merely TOLERABLE?

They all had good bits and bad bits.

Outrider wrote:

They key to use finding a relationship is LOVE, not "dating".

How the heck do I do that?

My mind seems to go date = girlfriend but I wonder if my mind is thinking about the future too quickly.

RetroGamer87
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01 Oct 2017, 3:56 am

Marknis wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Outrider wrote:

But were any of those relationships GOOD, or merely TOLERABLE?

They all had good bits and bad bits.

Outrider wrote:

They key to use finding a relationship is LOVE, not "dating".

How the heck do I do that?

My mind seems to go date = girlfriend but I wonder if my mind is thinking about the future too quickly.

Even if you make it to the girlfriend stage it doesn't necessarily mean you've made it to the love stage.

I can date girls, I can have girlfriends but falling in love with them is an order of magnitude more difficult. I think for me to even have a chance of falling in love with someone I'd have to be so comfortable with them that being around them drain me like most people do. Perhaps being around them could even energise me. For me people like that are very very rare. The few I've met weren't in my dating target demographic.

Based on this minute probability, the odds are that me finding love rather than just another girlfriend the odds are that it will either happen when I'm quite elderly and nearing the end of my life or that it will not happen within my lifetime.

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WantToHaveALife
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07 Feb 2018, 5:57 am

ya, and what bothers and pisses me off, is that us guys are expected to be in control of our own destiny, to create our own destiny

quite an extreme
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24 Sep 2018, 5:32 am

Marknis wrote:

I am almost 30 and I feel like my 20's were wasted.

I'm 50 now and realize that even more girls of about 20 like me now than if I was 20 or 30. You have at least 20 years for doing it better, maybe even 40. But I had to change me and my way of acting with people for this in a quite hard way. I'll never become a womanizer at all. You should be aware of the ape rules that woman use to jugde the attractivity of men (exactly the same that females of other sorts of apes use) and that there is such a thing as deep empathy that cause them to feel good or bad for you.

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