My girlfriend wants to have a child but I'm not ready yet

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Contraceptives can fail. I still have more risk of getting someone pregnant than goldfish does.

Anyways, any child born in Australia is Australian

But Australia does not exist:

b9 is an automated robot who claims to be 'Australian'.

They can fail but what's the chance if you both use contraception??

That is not true.

What other nationality would they be for being born in Australia?

It depends on the parents and on their status, of course.

Yes, one of the parents must be an Australian citizen or having a permanent residence.

Otherwise half of Indonesian pregnant women at 9th month would jump to Australia to pop out their babies.

I see. I figured the prison colony would be the same as the rest of the commonwealth.

Rich Chinese women fly here to pop out their kids so they're Canadian/have the best chance of staying here.

Yes. Perhaps I should be more sympathetic to GF. I should put myself in her shoes. It may seem like I'm jeopardising her chances of getting the thing she wants most.

But she is not as single minded as that. She's not driven by primitive unquestioning urge to procreate. She has her own doubts about having kids.

They seem to come and go with her ovulation. For one week out of every months she obsesses about babies. About how cute they are. About how her friends have babies and she doesn't. About how she's 30 now and her time is running out.

The rest of the time she's more even minded. She says that she might like to have children but like me she's worried about raising them. In addition she worried about what effect pregnancy and birth will have on her body. In a way she has more to worry about than me since my body won't be effected.

A few times she's said that she doesn't want a child that much and that she's just doing this because her mother expects her to have one. She entertained notions of rebelling against her mother by not having one. She's very close to her mother but her mother is demanding about certain things. It's partly because of her mother that she's with me. Her mother said she had to get a boyfriend. It looks like I was in the right place at the right time.

When she's not ovulating, GF obsesses over other things, such as real estate. She devotes much time to sifting through property listings on the internet to determine which house or apartment we should buy. Our walks typically revolve around running (sometimes literally) towards any For Sale sign she spots. During this time she has little interest in babies, though I often remind her that while a small apartment is ok for the two of us, it would not be suitable for a family of three.

About a month ago GF suggested that I have a vasectomy when she realised there was a high chance the child would have aspergers. Of course I was more than a little insulted by this. I'd been thinking of having a vasectomy just so I could avoid raising children in general (not specifically so I could avoid raising children with aspergers). For a while I entertained the notion that regardless of the appalling reason for her wanting me to get a vasectomy, it could still tie in with my own plans to get one.

But this plan had two snags. Firstly, getting a vasectomy seems so final. There was and is a part of me that wants to try raising a child. Who knows, I might be good at it. She might be good at it. Secondly, she hinted that the vasectomy was only to prevent her having a child by me. She implied that she could get a sperm donor or adopt.

It's possible that my extreme brattiness as a child was caused by aspergers but not all aspie kids are like that. It's possible that by adopting I could avoid that brattiness but it still seems wrong. I normally think adoption is a very noble and generous act but not when it's done for this reason.

I don't want to adopt. True there are probably some kids who really need good foster parents. Call me selfish. I don't buy this idea that procreating will lead to some overpopulation crisis since in the developed world, the birth rate has gotten very low. It's now barely above subsistence levels.

sex turns into another casual recreational activity.

Hi Goldfish, I understand that last statement is apt to meet resistance. Our culture does promote sex as an activity requiring minimal commitment. I know it's a biological function. I also know it's pleasurable. But this function involves another human person. It's not like self stimulation. The specialness of the connection between two persons in commitment to one another can be compromised if the activity is just seen as recreational. One or both persons are reduced to a vehicle for the others physical gratification.

Just things to ponder. I say with great respect as you Goldfish are a very special person.

Pregnancy is definitely not an issue in your situation.

Right. I am a female. One in a committed relationship.

I'm glad you shared with me. I still think you are a sweet person.

Take care of yourself out there. I really like that you didn't reply in a hostile way. By far, you are one of the most open posters on here.