Would you be willing to enter a sexless relationship?

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Would you enter a sexless relationship?
Yes-I'm male 27%  27%  [ 16 ]
Yes-I'm female 24%  24%  [ 14 ]
No- I'm male 32%  32%  [ 19 ]
No- I'm female 17%  17%  [ 10 ]
Total votes : 59

sorrowfairiewhisper
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07 Dec 2018, 6:51 pm

I think the running joke is, that it's all relationships long term lol.



The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Dec 2018, 7:00 pm

I bet that marriages ending up sexless are more common than we think



AngelRho
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07 Dec 2018, 8:33 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I bet that marriages ending up sexless are more common than we think

It’s a safe bet.



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07 Dec 2018, 8:37 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
ACTUALLY I'm not talking in terms of well-being or depression or anxiety or behavioural issues. Re-read my post and you'll see none of those things were ever even mentioned. I'm talking about balanced life perspective, having a same-gendered role-model to learn from and in the case of single parents, not living on a low income and being denied opportunities you'd otherwise have with a working parent in the household. Your reading comprehension skills need work.


My reading comprehension skills are just fine thank you. But I still stand by what Im saying. First of all because the well being of the child should always be a priority. And second because that has a lot to do with what you were saying. If the child was not well balanced or didnt have an appropriate role model to learn from, than it wouldve shown at that age when they tested the children. There were no major differences between the two groups though, which shows the children were perfectly well adjusted without needing both male and female role models. Although, I personally think you can have a good role model who isnt your parent. And if you're only talking about same gender role models than wouldnt that not count when two moms raise a daughter since they're the same gender? And just because they are a single parent does not mean they dont work or have a low income. Single parents can provide for their children just like couples can; the child wouldnt necessarily not have opportunities. And having two parents certainly doesnt guarantee they would. And a working single parent is no more detrimental to a child than two working parents.


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karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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07 Dec 2018, 9:13 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
What about gay couples? If they have children, their kids will have 2 adult role models but they will be the same gender, but according to you it needs to be one man and one woman, so how do you account for gay couples?

So now you're following me around the forum to argue. :D I kid, I kid.

You ask a valid question, and there are a couple of reasons.

The first (and possibly the weakest) reason being that nature has basically told us that a mother and a father are the optimal parents by virtue of it taking a mother and father to produce a child naturally. If we were meant to be raised by single parents or gay parents, that would be reflected in the human reproductive process, i.e, gay couples and single people would be able to produce offspring naturally, but nope, we need an egg and sperm. You could argue that this is an appeal to nature fallacy, but in spite of that my opinion is that it's not void of validity.

The second reason is in a single-parent household, or a gay couple household where they are one sex and their child is another, the child isn't going to have a same-sex parent to be their role-model, which means that the child is going to have to learn what it means to be a man (when raised by only women) or a woman (when raised by only men) on their own, and that makes things more difficult for the child, and I don't think that's fair.

The third reason is that without two opposite-sex parents, the child will lack perspective of what it's like living, getting along with and understanding the needs of one of the sexes. A single mother, or two lesbians raising a heterosexual daughter won't be able to teach the daughter about what men want and need for their sustenance and contentment, and in the worst case scenario, lacking a good male in the household can lead to the "othering" of men, and breeding misandry (or misogyny in the opposite scenario) among the household because there's a deficient perspective of what men are actually like.

The fourth reason is I don't think you can get as balanced a perspective about life in general without both male and female input. The same way it's thought that there should be roughly equal representation between men and women in parliament so both have the opportunity to voice their concerns and needs so things are more balanced, I would say the same principle applies (maybe loosely, but applies nonetheless) to a household. The simplest way to put it is I see men and women like yin and yang, and in my opinion a family household without one or the other can throw things out of perspective. Obviously these are all just my opinions and a child is going to turn out better in a loving single parent household than being abused by parents of the opposite gender, but I think if you're going to have children, you should aim to be as prepared as possible to bring a child into the world in as optimal an environment as possible.

From most to least optimal parents, I'd say mother and father are most optimal, then two gay parents of the same sex as the child they're raising, then a single parent of the same sex as the child they're raising, then two gay parents of the opposite sex of the child they're raising, then a single parent of the opposite sex of the child they're raising, then an adoption centre, and then abusive or neglectful parents of any sex are the least optimal.

I'm not saying that a person raised in a two-parent heterosexual household is necessarily going to turn out better than one raised by a single parent, as there are a lot of other factors to account for, but I do think it's the most optimal environment to raise a child in for the reasons stated above.


I was just curious if your reasoning included ignorance about homosexuality and the ability of homosexual couples to raise children. I see that it does. Someone else already mentioned the studies disproving your claim that heterosexual couples can provide some measure of well-being or "balance" (or however you vaguely worded it) that homosexual couples can't, so I won't bother rehashing where you are wrong.



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07 Dec 2018, 10:15 pm

What is the screening process for adoption in America?


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07 Dec 2018, 10:31 pm

Raleigh wrote:
What is the screening process for adoption in America?


Depends highly on the state.
My own state makes you go through an agency (Most counties run their own as far as I know), most of the time you have to go through a detailed home study, which is to make sure you pass the legal requirements and other stuff, Age, financial security, no felonies within ten years (None at all that have to do with domestic abuse, assault, child abuse, neglect, or sexual crimes), that your house itself is safe, that every household member is okay with the adoption, that you understand what it will mean for you family ect.
Along with attending a course that teaches you about adoption and the kids that are likely to come to you through it and what not.

This website is good to find resources. I would also suggest looking through state law directly.
www.adoptuskids.org


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Raleigh
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07 Dec 2018, 10:44 pm

Arganger wrote:
Raleigh wrote:
What is the screening process for adoption in America?


Depends highly on the state.
My own state makes you go through an agency (Most counties run their own as far as I know), most of the time you have to go through a detailed home study, which is to make sure you pass the legal requirements and other stuff, Age, financial security, no felonies within ten years (None at all that have to do with domestic abuse, assault, child abuse, neglect, or sexual crimes), that your house itself is safe, that every household member is okay with the adoption, that you understand what it will mean for you family ect.
Along with attending a course that teaches you about adoption and the kids that are likely to come to you through it and what not.

This website is good to find resources. I would also suggest looking through state law directly.
http://www.adoptuskids.org

Do you think you'd pass the screening?
I don't mean to be rude, but your signature line does list quite a few challenges.
Like, what do they accept regarding disability etc.?


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Arganger
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07 Dec 2018, 10:53 pm

Raleigh wrote:
Arganger wrote:
Raleigh wrote:
What is the screening process for adoption in America?


Depends highly on the state.
My own state makes you go through an agency (Most counties run their own as far as I know), most of the time you have to go through a detailed home study, which is to make sure you pass the legal requirements and other stuff, Age, financial security, no felonies within ten years (None at all that have to do with domestic abuse, assault, child abuse, neglect, or sexual crimes), that your house itself is safe, that every household member is okay with the adoption, that you understand what it will mean for you family ect.
Along with attending a course that teaches you about adoption and the kids that are likely to come to you through it and what not.

This website is good to find resources. I would also suggest looking through state law directly.
http://www.adoptuskids.org

Do you think you'd pass the screening?
I don't mean to be rude, but your signature line does list quite a few challenges.
Like, what do they accept regarding disability etc.?


Legally they cannot discriminate based on disability. If they attempted to I could sue the state for discrimination.

Right now I wouldn't pass because of age and financial security.
The second is why I am really set on becoming independent as soon as I can, which is honestly a struggle.


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Raleigh
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07 Dec 2018, 10:57 pm

I've never really considered anything like this, as in if autistic people can adopt.
I notice they have a mental health screen, that'd be me out of the running. :lol:
Not that I've ever considered adopting, I just find this subject interesting.


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Raleigh
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07 Dec 2018, 10:59 pm

I've had quite a bit to do with foster children in the past, the screening process doesn't seem anywhere near as strict for that, just saying.


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Arganger
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07 Dec 2018, 11:04 pm

Raleigh wrote:
I've never really considered anything like this, as in if autistic people can adopt.
I notice they have a mental health screen, that'd be me out of the running. :lol:
Not that I've ever considered adopting, I just find this subject interesting.


The screening doesn't kick you out of the running, it's mostly to make sure that you are prepared mentally to adopt a kid, ensure you were honest, and make sure your own issues are well managed and actively being treated. (For instance, if you have PTSD they want to know that you won't be triggered by a child's trauma or flash backs, or if you have depression, they want to know that it won't cause you to neglect the child.)

They might ask you to seek treatment before the adoption or talk it over with a therapist. It can't so easily disqualify you.

Also, I may be making this sound way more complicated than it really is.


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Suspected; PTSD (Treated, as my counselor did notice), possible PCOS, PMDD, Learning disabilities (Sure of it, unknown what they are), possibly something wrong with immune system (Sick about as much as I'm not) Possible EDS- hyper mobility type (Will be getting tested, suggested by doctor) dysautonomia


graceksjp
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08 Dec 2018, 12:51 am

Arganger wrote:
Raleigh wrote:
What is the screening process for adoption in America?


Depends highly on the state.
My own state makes you go through an agency (Most counties run their own as far as I know), most of the time you have to go through a detailed home study, which is to make sure you pass the legal requirements and other stuff, Age, financial security, no felonies within ten years (None at all that have to do with domestic abuse, assault, child abuse, neglect, or sexual crimes), that your house itself is safe, that every household member is okay with the adoption, that you understand what it will mean for you family ect.
Along with attending a course that teaches you about adoption and the kids that are likely to come to you through it and what not.

This website is good to find resources. I would also suggest looking through state law directly.
http://www.adoptuskids.org


I will add that it also depends on where you wish to adopt the kid from. If you adopt out of the country than each country will also have its own set of rules. Not just on the parents, but also on the family in general and also on the kid. For example, most places wont let you choose gender, and some countries (like mine) only allow parents who are willing and capable of adopting a child with special needs. (sometimes they are practically made up tho: like being a little premature counts even though it doesnt affect the child) They are picky about age, how many children you already have, your job and income, etc. Someone mentioned earlier about raising a child without a good source of income, but some countries wont let you adopt unless you can prove you have a steady job with a salary above the national average. A lot of international adoptions also require travel. Overall, it can take a very long time and a lot of effort, with international effort being even more tedious. I wasnt even born yet when my parents started the process to adopt me.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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08 Dec 2018, 1:57 am

In my country, religious bodies (ie, church) govern over personal status laws (marriage, divorce, inheritance...) of its community.

Hence only Christians can fully adopt, Muslims can’t fully adopt a child in a sense of thr word (child won’t carry the adopting parent’s name). I am sure single people can’t adopt.



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08 Dec 2018, 2:34 am

I would be very happy if I could marry someone who didn't want to have sex, actually. Honestly, I think sex is really overrated to begin with.


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08 Dec 2018, 3:25 pm

I think regular sex "for fun" is a different thing from "sex for reproduction". At least some people that are asexual would be able to have sex for the sake of getting a child, and I think they should consider this instead of adopting.