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Why don't women ask out men?

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BTDT
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31 Dec 2018, 3:12 pm

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a ... deas-love/
5. Make it a rule to approach people you're interested in.

FYI. Cosmo is a women's magazine. I can identify a Cosmo cover from ten feet away.



SaveFerris
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31 Dec 2018, 3:44 pm

sly279 wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
colossalfailure wrote:
This is a myth, women DO ask men out but only if they are good looking



Complete and utter bollocks to put it bluntly

And don't post any red pill BS to back up your opinion

So you think women ask out men they find ugly?
0.o


So if you are not good looking then you are ugly ? That's a bit black and white Sly.

I can't answer your question as I don't have the answer.


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cberg
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31 Dec 2018, 4:22 pm

OK I found the real question:

Why aren't humans more inquisitive?


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31 Dec 2018, 5:03 pm

SaveFerris wrote:
Image


Bless!

If I'm an outlier because I judge men by personality more than looks, bring it on!


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WantToHaveALife
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31 Dec 2018, 5:39 pm

ya, i'm not afraid to be honest that I hate and resent this gender role so damn much, it puts me in a bad constant mood at times, it feels like an injustice due to how one-sided it is.



hurtloam
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31 Dec 2018, 6:53 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
men who enforce and perpetuate this gender role, tradition, are also part of the problem as well, if so many men stopped doing it worldwide for a year, it would probably compel many more women to do it.


I don't think that would work unless it was advertised that they were doing that. In reality what would happen is all single women would wonder why they stopped being attractive.



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31 Dec 2018, 7:45 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
ya, i'm not afraid to be honest that I hate and resent this gender role so damn much, it puts me in a bad constant mood at times, it feels like an injustice due to how one-sided it is.
Women DO ask men out on dates, but the man has to really be someone really special. That is why I keep advocating self-improvement for the men -- not to belittle the hopeless, but to encourage the lost.



The Grand Inquisitor
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31 Dec 2018, 9:22 pm

sly279 wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
men who enforce and perpetuate this gender role, tradition, are also part of the problem as well, if so many men stopped doing it worldwide for a year, it would probably compel many more women to do it.

Well, yes they're a problem to you, but there are many men, specifically among NT types who prefer doing the asking out than being asked out, so you have them to contend with. Another thing I don't think you're considering is even if the paradigm shifted and women started asking men out instead, there's no guarantee that you will be asked out, particularly if your sexual market value is low, ie you're overweight or scrawny, not independent, not particularly attractive, are working a low-income job or are unemployed, etc. Would you feel any better about never being asked out if the gender norms dictated that women are supposed to ask men out? I don't know about you, but that'd only make me feel worse about never being asked out.


so you think men have the better end of the stick?

No, not at all. Asking a lot of women out and getting rejected every time is at least just as bad as never being asked out as a woman. My point is even if gender expectations were different, it doesn't necessarily mean you'd be any better off


But currently I do never get asked out and I’m too Terrified to ask women

If women asked guys out they still may not ask you out. Would that make you feel any better?



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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31 Dec 2018, 9:34 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
ya, i'm not afraid to be honest that I hate and resent this gender role so damn much, it puts me in a bad constant mood at times, it feels like an injustice due to how one-sided it is.


Maybe if you started to pay attention to all the unfair gender expectations placed on women too, you wouldn't be bothered by how one-sided it is, because it's not one-sided at all. Gender roles are stupid and they suck for both men and women (and people who don't fit neatly in either of those categories). Making it a contest about which gender has it worse creates unnecessary and irrational resentment.



sly279
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01 Jan 2019, 1:22 am

SaveFerris wrote:
sly279 wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
colossalfailure wrote:
This is a myth, women DO ask men out but only if they are good looking



Complete and utter bollocks to put it bluntly

And don't post any red pill BS to back up your opinion

So you think women ask out men they find ugly?
0.o


So if you are not good looking then you are ugly ? That's a bit black and white Sly.

I can't answer your question as I don't have the answer.


Yes. Cause if you not ugly then you’d be attractive to them. Attractive is beautiful etc

attention
alluring
beautiful
charming
engaging
enticing
fair
glamorous
good-looking
gorgeous
handsome
interesting
inviting
lovely
pleasant
pleasing
tempting
adorable
agreeable
beckoning
bewitching
captivating
comely
enchanting
enthralling
fascinating
fetching
hunky
looker
luring
magnetic
mesmeric
prepossessing
pretty
provocative
seductive
stunning
taking
tantalizing
teasing
winning
winsome

Average people are attractive. You seem to be confusing attractive with super good looking.
So yes there ugly and then there’s attractive and attractive has a variety.
If someone says they find you nit attractive it means to them your ugly or not good looking, nit handsome etc.
Women won’t ask out people who are unattractive or ugly to them it’s common sense.

Coddling ugly people by saying just cause your not attractive(pretty) doesn’t mean you ugly. Yes it does. If you won’t date someone cause of how they look you find them ugly.



sly279
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01 Jan 2019, 1:25 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
sly279 wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
men who enforce and perpetuate this gender role, tradition, are also part of the problem as well, if so many men stopped doing it worldwide for a year, it would probably compel many more women to do it.

Well, yes they're a problem to you, but there are many men, specifically among NT types who prefer doing the asking out than being asked out, so you have them to contend with. Another thing I don't think you're considering is even if the paradigm shifted and women started asking men out instead, there's no guarantee that you will be asked out, particularly if your sexual market value is low, ie you're overweight or scrawny, not independent, not particularly attractive, are working a low-income job or are unemployed, etc. Would you feel any better about never being asked out if the gender norms dictated that women are supposed to ask men out? I don't know about you, but that'd only make me feel worse about never being asked out.


so you think men have the better end of the stick?

No, not at all. Asking a lot of women out and getting rejected every time is at least just as bad as never being asked out as a woman. My point is even if gender expectations were different, it doesn't necessarily mean you'd be any better off


But currently I do never get asked out and I’m too Terrified to ask women

If women asked guys out they still may not ask you out. Would that make you feel any better?


Supposedly some women do like me but due to social rules don’t ask me out hoping I ask them out, if that’s true women having to ask men out would be better for me.



sly279
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01 Jan 2019, 1:28 am

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
ya, i'm not afraid to be honest that I hate and resent this gender role so damn much, it puts me in a bad constant mood at times, it feels like an injustice due to how one-sided it is.


Maybe if you started to pay attention to all the unfair gender expectations placed on women too, you wouldn't be bothered by how one-sided it is, because it's not one-sided at all. Gender roles are stupid and they suck for both men and women (and people who don't fit neatly in either of those categories). Making it a contest about which gender has it worse creates unnecessary and irrational resentment.

Actually since he specifically said this gender role, other gender roles are irrelevant to how one sided this one is.

Men having to ask women out is one sided. If it was 50/50 women asking men out then life would be better for a lot of why men.



SaveFerris
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01 Jan 2019, 7:30 am

sly279 wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
sly279 wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
colossalfailure wrote:
This is a myth, women DO ask men out but only if they are good looking



Complete and utter bollocks to put it bluntly

And don't post any red pill BS to back up your opinion

So you think women ask out men they find ugly?
0.o


So if you are not good looking then you are ugly ? That's a bit black and white Sly.

I can't answer your question as I don't have the answer.


Yes. Cause if you not ugly then you’d be attractive to them. Attractive is beautiful etc

attention
alluring
beautiful
charming
engaging
enticing
fair
glamorous
good-looking
gorgeous
handsome
interesting
inviting
lovely
pleasant
pleasing
tempting
adorable
agreeable
beckoning
bewitching
captivating
comely
enchanting
enthralling
fascinating
fetching
hunky
looker
luring
magnetic
mesmeric
prepossessing
pretty
provocative
seductive
stunning
taking
tantalizing
teasing
winning
winsome

Average people are attractive. You seem to be confusing attractive with super good looking.
So yes there ugly and then there’s attractive and attractive has a variety.
If someone says they find you nit attractive it means to them your ugly or not good looking, nit handsome etc.
Women won’t ask out people who are unattractive or ugly to them it’s common sense.

Coddling ugly people by saying just cause your not attractive(pretty) doesn’t mean you ugly. Yes it does. If you won’t date someone cause of how they look you find them ugly.


Haven't you ever seen a drop dead gorgeous women only to find them ugly when you talk to them - it works both ways.


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WantToHaveALife
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12 Jan 2019, 2:44 am

a common, stubborn reason as to why women are adamant about keeping the tradition alive, regarding that the man has to be the initiator, is because they say "men court women, it's been like that traditionally"



hurtloam
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12 Jan 2019, 7:59 am

Thing is, if no one is asking those women out they're going to be waiting a long time.

I don't get that attitude. I seem to be the one courting this man at the moment. Sometimes it worries me, I think he may not really be interested because I organise most of our meet ups, but he does always say yes, so he's no uninterested.

I guess men would feel the same anxiety about a passive woman.



MaxE
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12 Jan 2019, 10:49 am

hurtloam wrote:
I don't get that attitude. I seem to be the one courting this man at the moment. Sometimes it worries me, I think he may not really be interested because I organise most of our meet ups, but he does always say yes, so he's no uninterested.
Not sure about the details of your meet-ups, but if you've had several and he always accepts the invitation, I would assume he's interested. Otherwise, he would have found excuses to beg off.

At this point, you need to be more straightforward with him about your interest. If you haven't yet given him overt evidence of physical attraction, now is the time. Either you flat-out proposition him or make some sort of physical move. A man will decline that only if he has no physical attraction to you whatsoever. In fact, even if he hasn't heretofore thought of you in "that way", he may very well start to once being made aware of your feelings. It's happened to me.

Sorry if I have misinterpreted the nature of your "meet ups"!


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