Is informed consent valuable for autistics?

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This is a toxic stereotype that I don't feel like tolerating. It's basically an accusation towards all guys here of being overbearing creeps. It's bad theory of mind. If you only see this, you're ignoring a lot of real world dude's objections to the same problem.

I believe the point KT is trying to push is - unless you can explicitly communicate (and sometimes even then), you're always at risk of miscommunication ending in either being harmed or harming another.
Being always aware of a possibillity of miscommunication is not a bad thing for NDs. It's reality.

People can learn to be soul mates, There doesn't always have to be an immediate spark.

That is not the same as transmitting and receiving radio waves as a means of communication. That is birds being able to see the magnetic fields of earth and I would suspect it's for navigation.

It was my response to your statement "If there was such an organ in the body that allows for that, people who study anatomy would have already found it."

They haven't found the organ for magnetoreception for a long time either.

Having been in a relationship for decades indeed can make two people know each other very well, but this is not soul mates. It's not sufficient to just know each other very to be soul mates.

Being soul mates requires a kind of intuitive understanding of each other. It does require being of compatible neurotypes, but that's not enough either. People must "work" on it too, but not the "work" that people attribute to dating and relationships.

I think that participating in dating culture makes it impossible or at least highly unlikely to end up as soul mates. Dating aims at creating one from two by merging interests & values, and then working on keeping this in sync. Soul mates still are separate people without merged interests.

I actually think that too much talking early in courtship will ruin chances of becoming soul mates, and it is this rather than the immediate spark that is most important. The brain is lazy and if it is possible to solve everything with talking the brain will never develop the intuitive understanding required to become soul mates.

Actually, it's extremely easy to send out radio waves as is obvious from EMC directives and there is no need for antennas for this to happen. Basically every circuit that has high frequency signals will emit radio waves. Actually, as soon as there are oscillating electrical currents radio waves might be emitted, and our bodies are full of electrical activity.

1 in 4 females are raped in their lifetime. Unlike the 1 in 6 males, this tends to be in adult life - a time when it is perfectly acceptable to have sexual yearnings for her from afar without telling her.

I think the very least that is owed your potential partner, therefore, is speaking to her in some form of established language. Make sure she's into you. Make sure she's into your gender in the first place! Make sure she's single or in an open relationship. Make sure she's up for it.

I don't need to want a relationship myself to give a crap about this.

After that - as has been pointed out to me by a mod - in a long term relationship, yeah, maybe glances are enough. But you have already spoken with this woman...

I am talking about a woman who you wish to get physical with. I am talking about sex. Ask first using a language which has a word for 'no' and isn't incredibly vague.

Exactly.

Rejection isn't the worse thing to happen in sex.

Rejection sucks...

But one has to bite the bullet.

A wink from a woman doesn’t mean she wants to do the Full Monty with you, even though she probably digs you.

With patience, though (which always involves some sort of explicit, spoken friendship), things just might become consummated.

I don't think it's possible to have laws against yearnings, and if it is, it's a very dangerous route to take.



I think her meeting me outdoors at various places every day, playing lots of fun games when we are out is enough for me to know she's into it. We actually plan & negotiate when and where to meet. She also generates several emails for me every day and sometimes creates fake friend requests on Facebook.



I've spoken to many people, but in most cases this doesn't make me any more aware of their desires & preferences. My major insight into how NDs function is based on asking them questions in Aspie Quiz. The social games many people play part of makes it a hazard to even guess what people want.

So, no, I disagree that talking is a superior way of understanding people's desires.

I guess that is true, though they did find a protein in the eye in the birds according to that article that might be at least partially responsible.

That said I still do not think the human body has the capacity to create radio waves, at best I could believe it could be possible to sense them in a way perhaps but just reading up a little on what it takes to create a radio signal, I just don't think our bodies have the hardware to do that.

Well, then I think I am glad I don't have a soul mate, I prefer a boyfriend where we do have similar/merged interests and values. Makes it easier to enjoy activities together for one, I'd hate if our lives were totally separate aside from living together.

That is kind of a dangerous mindset though....certainly runs the risk of just assuming you got whatever non-verbal signs you figure say they want sex and ending up violating someone.

There's a difference between something not being moral and something should be illegal.

It's not moral to have yearnings for kids. It's not normal. Anyone experiencing that should go see a shrink.

I agree that making it illegal is thought crime - esp since a lot of the time these pathologies = mental illness.

As long as they don't touch!

As for fancying men and women from afar? That is entirely normal and healthy behaviour for adults to engage in. Gay, straight, bi, doesn't matter.

Again - if you don't touch then consent doesn't matter. Every sexual adult does this.

If you are writing to her then she can share with you whether she wants sex or not. That's a good way to get consent. Ask her via writing!

But that means you're not exclusively reading her mind...

Don't you have platonic friends you play games with, too? I wouldn't take playing games together as a sign on its own of anything more than friendship. Heck I have family members I play games with!

Not all guys.

All guys who don't understand that you need written, signed or spoken consent.