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Is looking for autistic women a realistic option?

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dorkseid
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24 Feb 2022, 7:08 pm

Muse933277 wrote:
2. They have above average charisma/social intelligence which makes up for their below average appearance.


I think I'm the exact opposite. I'm white with blue eyes and a lot of women seem to think I'm good looking, or at least did when I was younger. But my lack of social intelligence overrides everything else. I particularly noticed that women seem interested online when they see my pictures, but completely lose all interest when they meet me in person and see how awkward and weird I am.



auntblabby
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25 Feb 2022, 12:15 am

if only people would look past our social deficits.



ironpony
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25 Feb 2022, 12:51 am

I was wondering OP, one thing that helped me a lot in dating that may help you is books on dating such as Double Your Dating, and The Mystery Method: How to get Beautiful Women into Bed. Those books helped me a lot and wonder if they would help maybe?



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25 Feb 2022, 1:00 am

ironpony wrote:
I was wondering OP, one thing that helped me a lot in dating that may help you is books on dating such as Double Your Dating, and The Mystery Method: How to get Beautiful Women into Bed. Those books helped me a lot and wonder if they would help maybe?

what is the best line of advice you got from the latter book?



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25 Feb 2022, 1:09 am

I wouldn't know where to start. It's also hard to reference the lines exactly, since the book was stolen from me about seven years ago. But one thing both books reference a lot is to have a really good sense of humor and that has been the biggest help I would say, as it seems the best way to attract women is to make them laugh.

And of course a good sense of humor can be learnt hopefully.



auntblabby
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25 Feb 2022, 1:10 am

i have what i consider a vivid sense of humor but almost nobody gets it. on the right planet i'd be a comedy star. but not on this one.



ironpony
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25 Feb 2022, 1:34 am

Oh I'm sorry to hear that. I hope some others like your sense of humor too, and I hope the OP finds someone to make him happy :(.



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25 Feb 2022, 1:35 am

ironpony wrote:
Oh I'm sorry to hear that. I hope some others like your sense of humor too, and I hope the OP finds someone to make him happy :(.

you and me both. after a while i got tired of diagramming and just decided that ben franklin was right when he said "'tis better to keep silent and as a fool be thought, than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."



Muse933277
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25 Feb 2022, 9:58 am

auntblabby wrote:
if only people would look past our social deficits.



They do if you're good looking, and especially if you're a good looking woman.

It's the reason why autistic women typically don't struggle with dating to the extent that autistic men do. As long as the woman isn't too ugly or obese, many men tend to overlook shyness or poor people skills as long as the woman is hot.


Sub7 men (men who are a 6 or below on the 1-10 looks scale) don't get the same luxury, and really have to put in the work and effort to increase their social skills in order to attract a mate.



ironpony
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25 Feb 2022, 12:48 pm

Muse933277 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
if only people would look past our social deficits.



They do if you're good looking, and especially if you're a good looking woman.

It's the reason why autistic women typically don't struggle with dating to the extent that autistic men do. As long as the woman isn't too ugly or obese, many men tend to overlook shyness or poor people skills as long as the woman is hot.


Sub7 men (men who are a 6 or below on the 1-10 looks scale) don't get the same luxury, and really have to put in the work and effort to increase their social skills in order to attract a mate.


I find this relat-able as I am autistic but also end up going for women that are usually shy or have poor social skills, a lot of times, because it's easier that way. Perhaps that is the solution for autistic guys as well, to go for women with poor social skills, because then they will not be in competition so much with their social skills?



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25 Feb 2022, 12:56 pm

ironpony wrote:
Muse933277 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
if only people would look past our social deficits.


They do if you're good looking, and especially if you're a good looking woman. It's the reason why autistic women typically don't struggle with dating to the extent that autistic men do. As long as the woman isn't too ugly or obese, many men tend to overlook shyness or poor people skills as long as the woman is hot. Sub7 men (men who are a 6 or below on the 1-10 looks scale) don't get the same luxury, and really have to put in the work and effort to increase their social skills in order to attract a mate.


I find this relat-able as I am autistic but also end up going for women that are usually shy or have poor social skills, a lot of times, because it's easier that way. Perhaps that is the solution for autistic guys as well, to go for women with poor social skills, because then they will not be in competition so much with their social skills?

most autistic women that are above moderate-functioning, will have good masking and assimilation skills long in place from an early age. so some would say that this gets uncomfortably close to taking advantage of people with lower-level cognitions than oneself has.



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25 Feb 2022, 12:58 pm

auntblabby wrote:
ironpony wrote:
Muse933277 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
if only people would look past our social deficits.


They do if you're good looking, and especially if you're a good looking woman. It's the reason why autistic women typically don't struggle with dating to the extent that autistic men do. As long as the woman isn't too ugly or obese, many men tend to overlook shyness or poor people skills as long as the woman is hot. Sub7 men (men who are a 6 or below on the 1-10 looks scale) don't get the same luxury, and really have to put in the work and effort to increase their social skills in order to attract a mate.


I find this relat-able as I am autistic but also end up going for women that are usually shy or have poor social skills, a lot of times, because it's easier that way. Perhaps that is the solution for autistic guys as well, to go for women with poor social skills, because then they will not be in competition so much with their social skills?

most autistic women that are above moderate-functioning, will have good masking and assimilation skills long in place from an early age. so some would say that this gets uncomfortably close to taking advantage of people with lower-level cognitions than oneself has.


But if the guys are autistic as well, doesn't this put them in the same or similar playing field?



auntblabby
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25 Feb 2022, 1:22 pm

ironpony wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
ironpony wrote:
Muse933277 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
if only people would look past our social deficits.


They do if you're good looking, and especially if you're a good looking woman. It's the reason why autistic women typically don't struggle with dating to the extent that autistic men do. As long as the woman isn't too ugly or obese, many men tend to overlook shyness or poor people skills as long as the woman is hot. Sub7 men (men who are a 6 or below on the 1-10 looks scale) don't get the same luxury, and really have to put in the work and effort to increase their social skills in order to attract a mate.


I find this relat-able as I am autistic but also end up going for women that are usually shy or have poor social skills, a lot of times, because it's easier that way. Perhaps that is the solution for autistic guys as well, to go for women with poor social skills, because then they will not be in competition so much with their social skills?

most autistic women that are above moderate-functioning, will have good masking and assimilation skills long in place from an early age. so some would say that this gets uncomfortably close to taking advantage of people with lower-level cognitions than oneself has.


But if the guys are autistic as well, doesn't this put them in the same or similar playing field?

for me, no. YMMV. ex told me that "we both can't be like this. one of us has got to be better." one has got to be a bit higher-functioning than the other, or else it is something like the blind leading the blind.



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25 Feb 2022, 1:37 pm

Oh okay, but you said before that if one is higher functioning though, than it is kind of like taking advantage though?

auntblabby wrote:
most autistic women that are above moderate-functioning, will have good masking and assimilation skills long in place from an early age. so some would say that this gets uncomfortably close to taking advantage of people with lower-level cognitions than oneself has.


If this is true, then how are we supposed to avoid taken advantage, but at the same time, not have the blind leading the blind, if autistic people decide to go for autistic people?



auntblabby
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25 Feb 2022, 1:40 pm

ironpony wrote:
Oh okay, but you said before that if one is higher functioning though, than it is kind of like taking advantage though?

auntblabby wrote:
most autistic women that are above moderate-functioning, will have good masking and assimilation skills long in place from an early age. so some would say that this gets uncomfortably close to taking advantage of people with lower-level cognitions than oneself has.


If this is true, then how are we supposed to avoid taken advantage, but at the same time, not have the blind leading the blind, if autistic people decide to go for autistic people?

i'm saying that ethically it is questionable if one's only goal is to spread one's seed. if one, OTOH, wants to be genuinely loving towards/with the lower-functioning autie, then that is laudable. but how often is that gonna happen like that?



dorkseid
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25 Feb 2022, 1:43 pm

ironpony wrote:
I wouldn't know where to start. It's also hard to reference the lines exactly, since the book was stolen from me about seven years ago. But one thing both books reference a lot is to have a really good sense of humor and that has been the biggest help I would say, as it seems the best way to attract women is to make them laugh.

And of course a good sense of humor can be learnt hopefully.


Bullsh!t! Women tell me all the time that I'm funny and I make them laugh. But they still all insist they only like me as a friend.

ironpony wrote:
Muse933277 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
if only people would look past our social deficits.



They do if you're good looking, and especially if you're a good looking woman.

It's the reason why autistic women typically don't struggle with dating to the extent that autistic men do. As long as the woman isn't too ugly or obese, many men tend to overlook shyness or poor people skills as long as the woman is hot.


Sub7 men (men who are a 6 or below on the 1-10 looks scale) don't get the same luxury, and really have to put in the work and effort to increase their social skills in order to attract a mate.


I find this relat-able as I am autistic but also end up going for women that are usually shy or have poor social skills, a lot of times, because it's easier that way. Perhaps that is the solution for autistic guys as well, to go for women with poor social skills, because then they will not be in competition so much with their social skills?


Like Muse said, even women with AS or below average social skills still don't have any trouble attracting men. I will always have to compete with NT men, even for shy or awkward women.