Why SHOULD you have a child sooner rather than later ?

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You mean like they would have lots of kids?

no, that their blinkered sense of false propriety would be insulted by such explicit talk.

Personally, my take on this whole topic is that, much like the pressure to meet someone special and either get married or start a common-law relationship, is all based on antiquated cultural paradigms that suited previous times much better, and ultimately stems from a much more primitive species-wide desire for the continued survival of the human race.

In any case, children aren't actually as beneficial in an increasingly modernized post-industrial society, but there are deeply ingrained notions in virtually all cultures that still haven't changed or adapted with the times, and that includes Western society, although norms from some other cultures can be even pushier from what I've observed. I love children by the way, but much like the pressure to have a significant other (which is actually interrelated), I don't think one's success or lack thereof in current society should be defined by whether they have kids. I for one am too busy trying to live the life I want to live to be concerned by some desire to reproduce my species.

But I thought that people in the bible belt believed more in marriage and kids so I thought they would mind it if teenagers were taught in school not to throw away waste their years of highest reproductive market value and regretting it later.

Will everybody stop with this "Reproductive Value" stuff!

People in the Bible Belt very often are hypocritical----but even there, most people want what is best for their kids. What's best for teen girls, they know, is to get an education, go to college----not get barefoot and pregnant.

But can't women in their 20s do both? Why does it have to be one or the other? My sister got married and had kids early on in life for example and now older women are jealous of her for not doing so.

There are time when individuals will never be satisfied with anything.

Chanel West Coast(the girl on the MTV show Ridiculousness) is currently pregnant & she's 33. She seems younger to me cuz she's really into partying & I'd bet a little money that she's high some of the times the show is being filmed. She's confused a lot & laughs a lot which lots of people find stupid & annoying but I actually find it really funny & very cute (something is seriously wrong with me ) Plus the way she dresses sometimes, acts in her music vids, her meltdowns, & her arrest record; reek of immaturity. I hope she's growing & maturing very fast now.

Well in this video, Jordan Peterson talks about how women are lied to in high school about how they should not have kids and concentrate on their career, and he says this at the start of the video. At 2:20 into the video, he says that a lot women will all of a sudden change their mind on that lie when they reach about 30ish around:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoqjKqt__tI&t=318s

But why would woman all of a sudden change their minds then? Why buy into a 'lie' that women shouldn't have children because it's part of the patriarchy and then at age 30 or later, they choose to give into the patriarchy, if there is a reason for that?

There's no reason to pressure a couple to have a child before they're ready psychologically and financially. At the same time...

The older the parents get, the less fun-loving they become. Which means they become increasingly content with living lives of quiet misery, patiently waiting for their retirement, and later death. And it also means they're increasingly ruthless about inflicting the same miserable life on their child, simply because it's all they know at their current life stage. They'll want the child to have as little pleasure as possible, due to seeing it as "normal" for themselves, and try to force the child to feel grateful for it. As a result, he/she will...
1) Turn 18, move out, and cut their parents out of their life forever (which I failed to do).
2) Commit suicide (which I hoped to do).
3) Attempt suicide (which I was afraid to do, due to fear of punishment).
4) Hope to die naturally or accidentally (which I did, but hopes can be dashed).
3) Take up drinking whiskey during teen years (which I actually did).
4) Hope for their parents to die ASAP, just to feel a smidgen of joy (which my superego thwarted).
5) Try to get adopted out into a different family (which I had no idea how to pull off).

Do you think I'm making this **** [poop] up? My parents' idea of weekend fun was walking in the park as a family, followed by them checking the homework I got. No museums. No day trips out of state. No restaurant lunches. Nothing! Plus, I still had a 10:00 PM curfew at age 19. Thank god, they started letting me take city buses to museums by myself, as an 8th-grade graduation present. (My parents had me at 38, about the same age I'm now, which explains a lot, including why I was still swigging vodka-laced Slurpees in railroad underpasses at 33.)

In short, a little kid's parents over 35 is a fast-track recipe for suicide-level misery of the kid. Sadly, today's economic reality is such that none of the parents are properly ready to have a kid before at least age 30. I solved my problem the quick and dirty way: by not having kids at all.

Last edited by Aspie1 on 22 Jun 2022, 7:56 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Oh, dear god!

I'm really sorry you've had such a hard time, Aspie1, but I find it incredibly offensive to argue against older parents and people like that and even suggest that your experience is in any way universal, when there are many people here who might take you word-for-word.

If you want to argue with anecdotal evidence, I'll give you mine. My parents were 35 and 38 years old when they had me. I don't want to lord it over you, but I got to do all the things your parents denied you (again, I'm sorry) and more, partially because they had more disposable income than they did in their 20s when they were raising my brothers. I have many happy memories of joys both small and large, including those of parents who appreciated life and made me feel loved.

Moreover, I'm 54 now and in no way find or make my life as dismal as you suggest. I hope yours gets much better.

I get that age isn't the be-all and end-all. But my older sister's quality of life as a child, who my parents had at age 28, was much better than my own. Younger parents still have vestiges of their fun-loving youth, despite taking on the 24/7 responsibilities of childrearing, and thus are better equipped to provide a fun, enjoyable life to their children.

I also realize that culture/ethnicity plays a role too. As a member myself, I'm legally allowed to say it: fun-loving-ness is NOT my culture's strong suit. Many holidays revolve around past tragedies, religious restrictions on life's pleasures/comforts are too many to count, and even the joyous holidays dictate that joy must be tempered with mild reminders of sorrow. (The reverse is true too, but meh.) Interestingly, my ethnicity has one of the highest depression rates in the US, and I take Effexor 75 today.

In other words, it's the polarized opposite of the Spanish and the Italians. Which partially explains why my parents weren't keen on me enjoying my life "too much" as a child. Which also explains why I was swigging vodka in railroad underpasses at 33, a stupid but fun thing the college kids usually do. (Today, I matured slightly, and swig vodka, now mixed into Sprite or fruit juice, inside trains on top of railroad underpasses. )

I hope I come back as a Spanish baby in the next life (assuming reincarnation exists), considering how I can speak Spanish now. Then I'll drink sips of wine at dinner, go to bed at 11:00 PM on weekdays, throw tomatoes at strangers once a year, and watch crazy people run from bulls. If that's not fun, then my name is Kamala Harris.

There's almost 7 billions people on the planet.

At least 50% of all people now shouldn't have children; the world population should be halved pretty soon.

The world's population never stopped rising after Covid started & the news would not shut up about all the many people who were dying from Covid. Our population is rising waaaay too quickly.