Dating as a Fundie

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JWs focus on scriptures like Matthew 24:19-21 to support their position:

Also, Luke 23:29:

It’s easier to work for a cult without children. People can use the Bible to support any stance.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 06 Jun 2023, 8:21 pm, edited 2 times in total.

So the official JW&WTS's doctrine is to avoid having children.  How do they address contraception and abortion?  Are they to 'officially' increase their number only by recruitment?  Is this why they go door-to-door?

They think abortion is murder. Contraception is considered a “conscience matter” but most of them use it and it’s strongly encouraged. Married couples can’t work at their headquarters if they get pregnant. If they get pregnant, they have to quickly find a new place to live and work.

They don’t worry too much about increasing their numbers because they think God will provide for them. If they don’t preach, they could be keeping people from hearing the Truth, which could make them bloodguilty and bar them from eternal life.

So . . . every time someone slams a door in their faces, they have lost their chance of preaching their "truth", thus damning them to Hell.  How do they allegedly atone for this?

I’m not quite sure I get what you mean. If someone turns them down that’s on the person, not them. They are looking for “right-hearted ones” (i.e. people who will accept the message).

When I see the words "Right-Hearted" in this context, I think "ignorant and gullible".  I have no intent to offend you; it is just how my mind reacts.

That’s exactly who they’re looking for: ignorant, gullible, and disenfranchised in some way. I use JWspeak ironically sometimes.

Noted.

Have you ever thought of writing a lexicon of JWSpeak?  The kind where each word has three meanings: What they say, what you hear, and what they really mean would be great.

I could although it would probably only have very limited appeal. I could just avoid using their terminology. It’s challenging not to sometimes. I cringe whenever I say “church” instead of “Kingdom Hall” or “sermon” instead of “talk.” A person can leave a cult but can a cult leave a person?

I’ve deleted a couple posts, but the amount of entitled, creepy behavior I experienced among religious nuts is absurd. Morally, they aren’t better than anyone else. They’re quite possibly worse. Sexist attitudes combined with sexual repression is not a great combo.

The effects of a cult may linger, but I feel hopeful that they will eventually go away.

I started compiling my own lexicon.  Then I realized that former victims would likely be triggered.  It is on my hard drive, and I may expand on it; but I may never post it on this website.

^ I wouldn't find it triggering.

It's a huge topic. There are just so many weird words and phrases that they use for everything. One of the signs of a cult according to Steven Hassan is "loaded language" (https://freedomofmind.com/the-bite-mode ... witnesses/). JWs are notorious for this. Here are just a few examples:

The Truth - their religion. All other religions, including all other branches of Christianity, are based on lies according to them.

Jehovah's Happy People - When they are told they are happy often enough, they start to believe it despite the widespread use of antidepressants and their low socioeconomic status. (https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads ... us-groups/) They've said that if you aren't happy, there must be something wrong with you spiritually since joy is a fruit of God's Spirit (Galatians 5:22, 23).

Spiritual - To them, a person's spirituality can be measured by external behavior, especially by the number of hours they spend preaching and their regularity at church. In my experience, there's a strong correlation between being very "spiritual" and self-righteousness. Members are considered "spiritually weak" if they miss a lot of services ("meetings") and aren't preaching much ("going in the field ministry").

Spiritual Food - Their publications and religious services are often called spiritual food from Jehovah. They also say "spiritual feast or "spiritual banquet." These terms are frequently used in reference to assemblies and conventions which can last from 1-3 days.

2 Witness Rule - To establish "wrongdoing" (i.e. sinning), they require 2 witnesses to prove it if the person doesn't confess. This explains why child abuse is so often not reported. If a kid goes to the elders saying they were abused and the perpetrator says it didn't happen, no call to police will be made if there were no witnesses.

Bringing Reproach on Jehovah's Name - JWs have to constantly watch their behavior and appearance because they could hurt the Almighty's reputation (poor God ). This is why parents are often unwilling to report child abuse - it could make their religion look bad and discourage others from finding "the Truth" - the only passage to eternal life.

Stumble - As a JW, you must be very careful about your behavior because you could stumble someone else (members and nonmembers) and hurt them spiritually. It's best not to talk about having read or watched Lord of the Rings because you could stumble someone. I was informed by an elder that wearing a long denim skirt while preaching and a bandana in my hair in my free time was stumbling other people.

Worldly - People who aren't in their religion are "wordly." Being worldly is bad. Sometimes it's used as an insult against members who do stuff that's not deemed acceptable, like watch R-rated movies.

Kingdom Hall - what they call their churches

Talk - sermon

Brothers and Sisters - male and female members

Brotherhood - people in their organization (men and women). I always found it, along with the constant use of masculine pronouns and more obvious forms of misogyny, exclusionary.

Weaker Vessel - women

HeAdShIp ArRaNgEmEnT - their ideas about husbands and wives' place in a marriage. The man is the head of the house and is supposed to make all the decisions for the family. He's also responsible for his wife and kids' spiritual welfare.

Wifely Submission - ew. Women are viewed and treated like children. They are supposed to submit to their husband's authority even when they know he's wrong.

Marriage Dues - sex in marriage. Spouses are obligated to put out when their partner wants it.

Gay Lifestyle - self explanatory.

Governing Body/Faithful and Discreet Slave/God's Mouthpiece or Channel - The group of men who are at the top of the organization. They are an extremely unpleasant and ignorant bunch. I'd be rather embarrassed of them if I was a JW. When I was in, they were much more behind the scenes. I had no idea who they even were.

The (Silver) Sword - the Bible. Their translation of the Bible is incredibly biased.

Right-hearted Ones - people who buy into their BS - often people who are uneducated or disenfranchised. JWs typically prey on those who are struggling in some way because they know that they will be more receptive to the message. Most JWs think they are helping people in the best way possible. The most likely converts are: illegal aliens, people with mental illnesses, people in extreme poverty, people who are very poorly educated, and people who've experienced a recent trauma like a death in the family.

So-called Higher Education - This is always said in as snarky a tone as possible. They disapprove of people going to college. They especially dislike evolution and philosophy. True higher education, to them, involves studying their publications, going to the Kingdom Hall, and reading the Bible.

Theocratic Warfare - lying to the authorities. It's most often used to condone preaching in countries where it's banned, but they've also lied regarding their issues with child abuse. They are lying for Jehovah.

Persecution - "Persecution" covers a very wide spectrum of behavior and includes people who disagree with them, no matter how politely, to imprisonment and physical torture. Ex-JWs call it "Persecution Porn" because JWs love to talk about it so much. In their minds, it's a sign that the end is coming and confirms their beliefs in a way. Virtually everything is a sign of something.

Pioneer - There are different types of pioneers: regular, auxiliary, and special. A regular pioneer is someone who averages 70+ hours of preaching a month unless the hour requirement has changed as it does periodically. When you go on or off the pioneer list it is announced publicly. Auxiliary pioneers sign up for one month and get about 50 hours in. Special pioneers are missionaries. Preaching time for all JWs is recorded on a form and submitted to the local elders. All JWs hours are logged and recorded. They report other things on the forms like: number of books placed, number of Bible studies, etc.

Full-time Servant of Jehovah - this includes pioneers, missionaries, and people who work at their headquarters. People who work there are housed, fed, and given a small monthly allowance. When their service is no longer needed, they must rely on other people's help until they get a job because they have virtually nothing.

New Light/Light Getting Brighter - When they change their understanding of some Bible scripture, they say that it's new light from Jehovah. They don't admit to being wrong before even if their new position is diametrically opposed to their previous one because they can never be wrong. "New light" sometimes makes things more convenient for the organization in some way. JWs discourage members from owning or reading their older publications because of their changing Biblical "understanding."

Judicial Committee - When you've sinned and confessed or were caught, they have a JC. Basically, three elders will talk to you to try to determine your "heart condition" (level of repentance) and then will choose what they consider an appropriate sentence/punishment. They think that God is directing them when they feel that a specific course of action should be taken.

Disfellowshipping - It's considered a "loving arrangement." It happens when someone sins and is kicked out of their organization. Friends and family aren't allowed to talk to that person until they return to the fold. They think that such treatment will help someone return. Sometimes it leads to suicide. Of course, JWs blame the sinner, not their own horrific behavior. They can never be wrong.

Reinstatement - when a disfellowshipped person is allowed to return. It can take a year of good behavior and regular meeting attendance before a person is welcomed back, so sometimes I'd see a friend or family member but wouldn't be allowed to talk to them. When a person is both disfellowshipped and reinstated, announcements are made from the podium. With disfellowshipping, the silence that ensues is deafening. I'd always get a little nervous when an announcement was about to be made. I chose not to be present when announcements were made about me. When someone was reinstated once, people clapped. The elder who was on the platform let us know that that was inappropriate because he shouldn't have sinned in the first place. a**hole.

Paradise/New System - They believe that most JWs will be rewarded with everlasting life on Earth that God will make perfect. 144,000 JWs will be in Heaven ruling as kings and priests. (They get the number from a scripture in Revelation.) Apparently, God will need some helping hands.

The Great Tribulation - the time before Armageddon when all the governments will turn against JWs. It'll be like the Holocaust but even worse. They have a dramatization that exJWs affectionately call the "Bunker Video" which is absolutely hilarious although I'm sure it was scary for young kids to watch since they are taught that that will actually happen. I found the persecution stuff scary when I was a kid.

Babylon the Great/the World Empire of False Religion - all religions except their own. Satan is behind them all.

Torture Stake - They insist that Jesus died on a stake, not a cross. They insist that this is a HUGE deal and it's one of the things that makes them the sole Truth. I had trouble buying into this because, whether it was a stake or cross, the end result was the same.

Having Demons -If you buy something at a yard sale or from a thrift store, and it was owned by someone who had a Ouija board, voodoo doll, or Harry Potter novels, it could bring demons into your house. Demons seem to especially enjoy flickering lights, slamming doors, and any number of hijinks that can only be vaguely perceived out of the corner of your eye. They also like going for people who have mental illnesses or who have a tendency to make things up in general. Anyway, this was also very scary when I was a kid. It's like parents telling their kids that the monsters under their bed are real. I remember reading Dracula and being absolutely terrified that a demon would make an appearance. Nothing happened, not even a flickering light. It was a dark but not stormy night.

Satan's System of Things - Satan is in charge of everything except for the JW organization.

Apostate - people who leave the organization because they disagreed with their teachings

Enemy of God - unbelievers (even if they belong to a different denomination of Christianity) but especially apostates

Apostate Thinking - having your own opinions that don't line up 100% with their own

Apostate Material - anything that disagrees with them in any way. News reports about child abuse, for instance, they say should be avoided because it might just be lies from Satan. At best, they claim that they almost certainly contain "half-truths" and could take you away from Jehovah. This thread is also apostate material.

We were talking about corporal punishment in this thread. When I was growing up, there was a JW song that we used to sing at church and my mom would sing it as a lullaby. To be completely truthful, I sang it outside of church, too. I sang a lot of their songs and still have a fair number memorized. Oy vey. Anyway, this one, like many, has some messed up lyrics. Here’s a few parts of it:

Obviously, the use of the word “rod” is concerning. (When it got to that line, the cheerful, catchy melody got stern. Weird.) But I also think it’s gross that they referred to children as possessions.

In an episode from a docuseries on Amazon Prime I’m watching about the IBLP called Shiny Happy People, a woman says: “When you are told to not resist when your parents are hitting you as a child, because it’s for your own good, when you believe that your body belongs to the church and to the authorities that be, it’s absolutely designed to groom victims to be ready for more predators later on as adults, as young adults. Everything about it sets you up to be the perfect victim.”

So do JWs have the first orgasm of their lives on their wedding night?

They’re supposed to, but I suspect that most masturbate and feel guilty about it. (People like me as well as others that I’ve talked to. ) The likelihood of females having an orgasm on their wedding night is rather small IMO.

I talk about that some in the Purity Culture thread in the adult section.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 15 Jun 2023, 6:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

Many have said so.