Should you save sex for marriage?

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This is the danger for many. If someone's managed to build up enough assets that marriage becomes a massive gamble, then it's only wise to "try before you buy".

Any woman or man worth their salt will know the cards you have to play with and will agree. If they still don't respect the dangers you face, then just dump them and move onto someone who respects your concerns.

Oh yeah, I forgot about that. I did notice that the first time I read the thread.

"Try before you buy?"

Due to the odd marriage laws, this is often the case sadly.

In regards to the thread question, and not a tangent - I think saving sex until after marriage can be good to weed out non-committed men from a woman's perspective.

Although in today's climate, I imagine men would be more likely to reject a woman who wanted/wants to "save it until marriage".

I would and I have.

There you go then.

A lot of men nowadays would feel as though a woman would be flattering herself in terms of her value, if she wanted to save 'the prize' until after going through legal bonding.

As a woman, I wouldn't want to marry someone without knowing what they were like in the bedroom first. I think it's good to find out if you're sexually compatible and to make sure that your partner isn't abusive/selfish/demanding/etc.

I think there are too many risks involved when it comes to waiting, but it's up to the individuals involved, obviously. People who are very religious are more likely to want to wait. As long as they both have similar beliefs, it shouldn't be an issue, unless they find out they're incompatible.

Might be a 1 million dollar prize for some. Why anyone would want to put so much pressure on themelves for their first intimate moment is beyond me.

Have to be the best night in bed ever........money at risk depending obviously.

It's just sex. It's not a prize or the Holy Grail. People's value (male and female) extends beyond it. Geez, this conversation is cringey.

Yip indeed. Effort needs to be made to find someone compatible (as I mentioned earlier in the thread a week or so ago).

It's just not going to pan out all that well outside of religion, especially if massive financial gaps are involved and one is being very blinkered (perhaps intentionally so) to others genuine concerns.

Waiting until marriage with the awful marriage laws in a lot of countries makes it a prize as much as a gamble.

Why is it a prize? Don't these people masturbate?

Sex isn't something you "get" from another person like a prize. It's something you do together and that's, hopefully, mutually enjoyable. I'm speaking theoretically here.

Women enjoy sex just as much as men do if they have decent partners.

Mine is more of a theoretical too. I imagine though, if someone had to sign something legally binding that risked their financial future, that person might be extremely cut throat when the first time in the bedroom arrives and frankly, who could blame them if they risked a lot.

If I was clinically insane enough to agree to such a risky endeavour (which luckily I won't), then I would have very high expectations and would be very unhappy if they weren't met.

At that moment in time it'll only be about the sex and I don't understand why someone would want to put themselves under that much pressure in the bedroom by waiting until marriage.

It depends on the person, but if someone wants to pick another with a lot to lose, then thats the pressure they put themselves under.

I'm trying to see it from the view of waiting until marriage right up to the night itself and not beyond for this particular thread.

yup.. can see am being old fashioned but , marriage laws here allow for some latitude in these issue.
And Yes btw , all things consider concerning how i value myself in a relationship ...The idea is not how much one considers their value..But the value of the two As One....in marriage..and at my age , sex is not the defining factor ...but during the playing house period, i referred to before ..You can get a defo feel for the type of person you have attracted, And Yes ...Wish to say here , That some relationships have no measure in dollars . It goes beyond money.
Especially if you get a good match . Sorting out a considerate lover can be donewithout penetration, i feel.
But its the ability for a working Marriage...that makes the Prize ( that is immeasurable). But will never fault anyone ever for going out and having a good time. Am just writing this from a personal point of veiw.

^^ This discussion doesn't preclude talking about the "beyond" - in marriage, not in the afterlife sense of the word. Of course, maybe there's a connection...

Anyway, if you see things in that light, you probably shouldn't save sex for marriage. First time sex with a new partner is often disappointing from what I've heard. Hopefully, genuine love for one's partner softens the disappointment and makes them want to find ways to make the next time more enjoyable unless they aren't compatible, and there's not going to be a next time.