Why are women on dating sites such hippocrites

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pakled
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13 Jan 2008, 1:43 am

Don't hang all your hopes on a single place. There's local personals, and all the stuff that's been gone over on all the pages here so far.

When I was between wives, I put in an ad in the local personals (this was pre-internet...not much stuff going on at 1200 baud...;), started out with 'And now for someone completely different'. Don't remember the rest, but I got 7 first dates out of it (and being me, no 2nd ones...;)

If you think women don't want to meet men, look at a 'Cosmopolitan' next time you're in the grocery store...;)

Just keep plugging. The more you play, the better your chances of winning...;)



Topher
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13 Jan 2008, 9:43 am

im going to keep plugging away then.



pbcoll
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13 Jan 2008, 11:16 am

pakled wrote:
Don't hang all your hopes on a single place. There's local personals, and all the stuff that's been gone over on all the pages here so far.

When I was between wives, I put in an ad in the local personals (this was pre-internet...not much stuff going on at 1200 baud...;), started out with 'And now for someone completely different'. Don't remember the rest, but I got 7 first dates out of it (and being me, no 2nd ones...;)

If you think women don't want to meet men, look at a 'Cosmopolitan' next time you're in the grocery store...;)

Just keep plugging. The more you play, the better your chances of winning...;)



Depends where, I've lived here for over a year and I've met more than twice as many single men as single women (and both are very rare here), so it's a bit hopeless. It really makes you want to be asexual.


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sinsboldly
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13 Jan 2008, 1:27 pm

MikeInVa wrote:
LVBen wrote:
MikeInVa wrote:
BlackBull wrote:
Looked good bro. She seems interested, and is one of those who's actually looking for someone to have a meaningful relationship with.

Now, dont tell her things on the internet right away. Find a place to meet up (Coffee shop man. Trust me. No restrauants. Saves money, and neither of you need to get dressed up and put on you're best behavior. At the coffee shop, you two can be totally relaxed and have a fun convo, and coffee's only 3$. Everyone wins)

When you two meet up in person, talk about what was said in the message. In person, this works 100x better, because you'd be able to show body language, and get your messages across much faster.

Tell me how it goes Topher. Look forward to hearing the outcome.


Yeah,that's what I told the person I contacted....I suggested meeting at Starbucks(I'm a frappuchino addict LOL) would be a good location for a first date.



Starbucks is a great place for a first date. It gives you a chance to get to know the basics about each other in a casual and comfortable environment. It is cheap, which is important for a few reasons. For many NT women, the more money you spend on them, the less respect they have for you, and if it turns out that you two aren't compatible, then you are only out $10 instead of wasting $50+ on a typical date with a girl you will never see again.


Yeah,well I logged in this morning & checked my messages only to find that this girl now has a different city listing in her profile than she did yesterday when I first contacted her.It looks like POF is no different than the other sites I've looked at so I'm not gonna waste my time with it & am just going to accept the fact that in all likelyhood nobody wants to be with me & that I'll just end up being alone for the rest of my life.


are you also going to hold your breath until you turn blue ??

just wondering. . :wink:

Merle



Topher
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14 Jan 2008, 1:33 pm

Well i got another message back, although this time from a different girl. however i am confused as to what to say to her, could someone help me? I've quoted the messages bellow:

Quote:
Hello, My name is Chris. I came across your profile the other day. I was not able to send you a message immediately as I was busy with working to finish an assignment. but I wanted to get back to you.

I noted you are a big fan f sleeping, call it an odd question, but are you a morning or afternoon person? I've found once i wake up first thing i just act switched off or dead inside until about midday, when i just click into life. How far have you gotten on the Sims 2? Do you have every expansion pack and the elixir of life. Being at Uni means im usually out partying and dancing a lot. How often do you get out. Im told im usually annoying too so if others say they are annoying it does not bother me, it feels like someone I can relate too.

I'm also normally shy too. But once you get to know me i open up and I talk whenever I want. And of course, go randomness and scariness! =)

How accident prone can you get? =) I just broke a little bust someone got my for Christmas so that means out comes the glue! :P

In regards to hight I am about 6ft. =) heh

So whats your dog like then? Do you watch Top Gear or drive a car yet? You career said you were a support worker, tell me more about that as it sounds like a very nice job. What I also noted you live In Huntingdon. I have a lot of friends there despite me living on bristol. Perhaps you might know them as I visit often, so if we did get to know each other I can visit quite easily.

But there ya go. I hope you enjoyed reading this and that you may reply soon. Im quite patient =)

Best wishes, have a nice day

Chris


Quote:
(the reply)
that my friend is possibly the longest message i have ever had! and i dont really know what to say back! eeeeek! im frozen BRRRRRRR


any advice?



LVBen
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14 Jan 2008, 1:53 pm

Topher wrote:
Well i got another message back, although this time from a different girl. however i am confused as to what to say to her, could someone help me? I've quoted the messages bellow:
Quote:

any advice?


Follow the advice I wrote earlier. Don't compliment her more than once. Don't be apologetic at all. Use a maximum of 2 emoticons and if you use two, use two different ones. Keep your message to approximately the same size as her message (not because you should copy, but because that is about the optimum length.) Answer her questions. Ask enough new questions to keep the conversation flowing and so that she can write a response that is approximately this same optimum length.



Topher
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14 Jan 2008, 2:13 pm

LVBen wrote:

Follow the advice I wrote earlier. Don't compliment her more than once. Don't be apologetic at all. Use a maximum of 2 emoticons and if you use two, use two different ones. Keep your message to approximately the same size as her message (not because you should copy, but because that is about the optimum length.) Answer her questions. Ask enough new questions to keep the conversation flowing and so that she can write a response that is approximately this same optimum length.


Is this ok Ben?

Quote:
Heya

Thank you for your reply. I understand how that message must have seemed daunting. Although I felt I should address as much as I could in your profile and to show I read it and am interested in getting to know you better. It was really sweet of you to reply so thank you. =)

Why don't you tell me a bit more about your hobbies, are you a Top Gear fan and do you drive a car yet? Whats your dog like, and tell me more about your job too! =D it sounds really amazing and I would like to learn more.

I also mentioned I have friends in Huntingdon, perhaps you may know some of them. I visit as much as I can and i think it's a great place.

Anyway, I had better go as I have an assignment calling out to be finished. But I hope you can reply soon once you get a moment.

All the best.

Chris


It's just a draft, i;ve not sent it off yet.



gwenevyn
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14 Jan 2008, 2:29 pm

My opinion:

No... that's not okay. She wrote you a couple lines of text saying that she felt overwhelmed with your first long message, right? You sound desperate in your reply to that. I don't mean to offend, that's just how it would come across to me if I were her. Give this one up for lost. If she replies, great. If not... well, this is the girl who can't handle giving a coherent reply to a few short paragraphs. No big loss. Keep looking.


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LVBen
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14 Jan 2008, 2:35 pm

Topher wrote:
It's just a draft, i;ve not sent it off yet.



Eeek!! ! No!! !! You've got the wrong attitude! Don't act like she is doing you a favor by talking to you. You are doing her a favor, because any girl would be lucky to have you!

Topher wrote:
Thank you for your reply. I understand how that message must have seemed daunting. Although I felt I should address as much as I could in your profile and to show I read it and am interested in getting to know you better. It was really sweet of you to reply so thank you. =)


NO!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !


Topher wrote:
Why don't you tell me a bit more about your hobbies, are you a Top Gear fan and do you drive a car yet? Whats your dog like, and tell me more about your job too! =D it sounds really amazing and I would like to learn more.


Not bad, but you should aim for having a natural flow in your message. Don't bunch all of your questions together. Answer one of her questions, then ask a new question that is slightly related. Do this until you've answered all of her questions.

Topher wrote:
I also mentioned I have friends in Huntingdon, perhaps you may know some of them. I visit as much as I can and i think it's a great place.


Good.

Topher wrote:
Anyway, I had better go as I have an assignment calling out to be finished. But I hope you can reply soon once you get a moment.

All the best.

Chris


I think this is a good way to end a message.



LVBen
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14 Jan 2008, 2:38 pm

gwenevyn wrote:
My opinion:

No... that's not okay. She wrote you a couple lines of text saying that she felt overwhelmed with your first long message, right? You sound desperate in your reply to that. I don't mean to offend, that's just how it would come across to me if I were her. Give this one up for lost. If she replies, great. If not... well, this is the girl who can't handle giving a coherent reply to a few short paragraphs. No big loss. Keep looking.



Oops. I think I misunderstood. She actually wrote "that my friend is possibly the longest message i have ever had! and i dont really know what to say back! eeeeek! im frozen BRRRRRRR"?

I thought he meant that she wrote a really long reply and didn't know how to respond.



Topher
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14 Jan 2008, 2:40 pm

Quote:
Topher wrote:

It's just a draft, i;ve not sent it off yet.



Eeek!! ! No!! !! You've got the wrong attitude! Don't act like she is doing you a favor by talking to you. You are doing her a favor, because any girl would be lucky to have you!

Topher wrote:

Thank you for your reply. I understand how that message must have seemed daunting. Although I felt I should address as much as I could in your profile and to show I read it and am interested in getting to know you better. It was really sweet of you to reply so thank you. =)


NO!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !


ok, how can i correct it.



gwenevyn
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14 Jan 2008, 2:43 pm

LVBen wrote:
gwenevyn wrote:
My opinion:

No... that's not okay. She wrote you a couple lines of text saying that she felt overwhelmed with your first long message, right? You sound desperate in your reply to that. I don't mean to offend, that's just how it would come across to me if I were her. Give this one up for lost. If she replies, great. If not... well, this is the girl who can't handle giving a coherent reply to a few short paragraphs. No big loss. Keep looking.



Oops. I think I misunderstood. She actually wrote "that my friend is possibly the longest message i have ever had! and i dont really know what to say back! eeeeek! im frozen BRRRRRRR"?

I thought he meant that she wrote a really long reply and didn't know how to respond.



Yes. I think Topher is Chris, and (reply) indicated the girl's response. I think as it was so short, the best he could is just say something like "Ha! Yup, I'm a wordy one." Don't apologize implicitly by rephrasing the letter or risk overwhelming her further by writing so much again.


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Topher
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14 Jan 2008, 2:58 pm

So how should I correct my first paragraph then?



gwenevyn
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14 Jan 2008, 3:22 pm

Are you asking Ben only?

I'd say start over and limit yourself to two sentences.


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MikeInVa
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14 Jan 2008, 3:46 pm

Well I actually got a reply from one of the two women I contacted. :)



LVBen
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14 Jan 2008, 4:37 pm

Topher wrote:
So how should I correct my first paragraph then?


Gwenevyn might be right! This girl might already be a lost cause, and it isn't your fault. Your initial e-mail was good, but this girl is probably just a confused girl. She probably doesn't even know what she is looking for. Give her one last chance, but don't waste too much more time on her. I'd just write a quick response like this:

"After I read your profile, I thought we had some common interests, and I'd like to know a little more about you.

-Chris"


If she doesn't respond, then move on.