Hot and Cold Feelings

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First I'm craving for a guy to like me, love me, want to date me, next I'm acting really cold to a guy who likes me, and I think wants to get to know me....I do this ALL the time. I hate it!! !

Like today, my mom's boss (he's gay and the SWEETEST man EVER) he gives my mom a hug, and then I kinda shied away from him....but I wanted a hug too!! !! =( What's wrong with me?!?!?!?!

I think you gots the Asperger's . . .
I do the same thing. I get so shy when it comes to actually GETTING what I want. Like thinking about it was as good as it was ever going to get and when it came time to actually DO the action, I am already done. (And empty.)
Merle

It must be an adaptation to how we never really get what we want, so that we are satisfied with as far as we got

i soo relate to this.. someone i'm extremly inlove with gave me their phone number a few days ago and it's stopped at that.. i'm afraid to talk to him to have him hurt me again and yet i made the attempt and he gave me his number and i gave him mine and we're both kind of frozen in this state.. i'm pretty sure he is AS too but he's so much more intellectual than me and that intimidates me when we ever do meet up and i have such a hard time figuring out what to talk about.. i'd do anything to share the same interestes as him and when i think about him i wish i could just be with him looking at him but is there any hope for us two aspies who always struggle with what we want.. i miss him soooo much but i can't imagine what it's going to be like to talk to him again..

You are afraid. You are afraid of being hurt. Of being let down. You are afraid that you are not worthy of them.

Yet they feel the same about you!
Men worship women and women worship men.

We all do that. To girls that like me, and I like back, i sometimes dont know how to react so I tease them. I say tings like, look at your toes, or i mimick the way they talk. I think it's all cute though all the little things they do like the way they talk, they way they flip their hair, and so on.

we are people we all do that. Girls tend to do it more often though. When a guy acts like he doesnt like her, she's all over him, but when he shows interest, she acts like she doesnt like him.

And when girls do it, they take it to another level. im like a .5 they are a 99.9 level lol...but i guess its all psychological and biological

I can relate and often wondered if these are really just aspie traits. Of course it's going to be natural to have "urges" for people you fancy. You might even have fantasies about them. But in reality, you're having to deal with the real stuff and the person that happens to be real.

Also depending on how severe aspergers neurogically affects you, you might have sensory issues. You may find that person exhausting only because you can only handle so much sensory intake. Most people will usually confuse this as being cold or disinterested when it's really a response to a neurological itch.

Then again could be anything. These just happen to be factors I struggle amongst other things. Aspergers is not an easy subject to discuss when it involves those unique aspects that're hard to describe. I use to have a lot of guilt issues because of these little glitches that would interfere with my ability to remain "interested" with a friend or person throughout a certain period of time. Most of them still don't understand that I need time to myself before getting back with them.

Yup, the minute you are the focus of someone's interest, you evade them, or find fault, or do things to make yourself unlikeable (I'm saying you, but i mean ME, because that is what I do...) Wish I had some solutions for you, I've certainly screwed up over and over by doing this....

yeah I can relate to that a lot.

I guess it's the same as with socialising in general - when I was unemployed and spent my days at home I really craved company. now when I work in an office with other people I crave to be a self-employed freelancer :p

actually, I'm this way with many things.

Well if you don't feel the same way about that guy, then who could blame you? Just 'cause we crave a girlfriend/boyfriend doesn't mean everyone is suitable.



Maybe it's a self-defence mechanism - you're afraid of getting rejected so you don't bother to find out.