Being Friends vs being BF/GF

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I have her cell phone # and she's on my facebook page. We usually chat whenever she's available. My friends told me that if you have her number and she continues to smile and chat with you, then that's a good sign. However, I can't read minds and I don't understand body language just yet. So I'm totally unsure if she wants to be just friends or if she's ready to go beyond that. Most of us guys have been through this right?

This is pretty confusing for me too. I'd never heard the term "friendzone" until very recently. I didn't realize that being good friends for a long time can make you ineligible for dating. I mean, I can understand the concept of not wanting a bad relationship to ruin the friendship that you have, but to me, knowing someone for a long time and being good friends sounds like a good starting point for love!

Ah well. I'm afraid I have zero advice for your current situation.

Well, between Me and her, we known each other since 1st grade, but we haven't started talking to each other till 8th. Thanks for trying though. BTW, I've seen bad relationships ruin friendships, but I don't think it could happen in this one. Hopefully

Try making some kind of gesture towards making your relationship more romantic. Try asking her out or something. See how that goes.

Yeah, it's possible that it hasn't even occurred to her that you might like her (if she's anything like me). I've always talked and smiled to guys I know (who aren't total creeps) and it's not necessarily been because I liked them romantically - it's just polite. I agree with Moog - ask her out.

All I can say is keep it quite casual at first. I agree with Moog on this one.

This confuses me too. I've been told that if you don't establish a romantic attraction as soon as you meet someone, it will be too late to do so. I've also been told that relationships that begin with friendships are the most likely to succeed. Yes, those statements would appear to be contradictory. That's dating advice for you.

Last edited by scubasteve on 28 Jul 2010, 5:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It makes sense because you establish the romantic attraction straight away, but then you proceed to have a mock "friendship" for a time while you both are romantically attracted to each other, before one of you makes the move to actually bring that attraction out into the open. So thus the "friendship" happens first, but it's not a typical friendship; it's a friendship with underlying unspoken romantic attraction.

However, if you start the friendship and there's zero romantic attraction at the very beginning (and it doesn't develop quickly after that) then it never will, and thus you've landed in the "friend zone".

I always get mixed up on that. Usually when girls smile at me, the only thing that comes in my head is that their interested in me. Then I found out the hard way that I was wrong, but I did learn something. It took research and more rejections to help me understand that.