Masquerade Interactions? - Thirty Second Rule?

Post Reply New Topic

This is something that only recently came to mind. Read this: "Psychologist Professor Richard Wiseman said the [speed dating experiment] showed that many women made decisions about prospective partners after just 30 seconds." (link) Did that register? Women chose who they were going to date in thirty seconds. I believe it. As desperate as NTs are to avoid being labeled shallow, 'social masks' appear to be an integral part of our society.

It seems these are purely so individuals can quickly get the gist of who we are, given that they meet hundreds, if not thousands of people a day. People have different masks depending on what parts of themselves they need to prioritize in those first thirty seconds. Men need to, especially given that women decide whether to 'friend-zone' in the first thirty seconds.

These masks don't have to be deceptive. NT Society is essentially a large masquerade ball, where the masks are made up of how you look and act. Some use masks that accurately identify who they are. Others deceive hoping to gain something. As Aspies, we tend to sit in the corner 'not getting' the whole situation.

In reality, I'm thinking this is something we need to work on. We're at a natural disadvantage because we don't see or understand the mask. What we need to do is create an assortment of masks that match who we are (or not, if deception is your game), and be prepared to wear them during a social encounter, depending on what needs to be emphasized in those first 30 seconds.

If we are prepared to say and do the right things in those first thirty seconds, rather than letting the 'social delay' burn out the timer, we should do a lot better.

Does this make sense to anyone? Does anyone disagree, or have an alternative viewpoint?

I think it's largely about going with gut-feelings and stuff.. But a lot of times sociopaths are able to evoke positive subconscious feelings in people, so I don't know if it's right or not.
Personally, a lot of times my very first impression of someone doesn't stick. I'll meet someone, think "what a pretentious b****," or something along those lines, and then later be like "yea, so-and-so is a bit of a showoff, but really, I like them." Or the other way around, someone comes off as charming, but they're a jerk.
I think I'm just not good at judging that when I first meet people, though, it takes me awhile. So I try to be open, and then by that time, I've given some jerk the impression that I like them because I was giving them a chance.. *sigh*

This is why I advocate meeting people online.. That's how I met Kris, and really, it's better for me to get to know a person and what they're about first. Not to say that I wouldn't have liked him if I did.. but I don't know, since when I met him, I already knew him, so what I see and hear is based as much on already knowing him as anything that's actually sensory. (Aren't most women like that, though? With how we perceive someone being largely based on what we already think? Like how someone looks ugly if they're a jerk, 'cause looking at them is unpleasant.)