Taking your time with someone you like a lot

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Well this is a subject that works for girls with guys as well.

I always rushed the matter but the first time I am taking my time along with having patience with a girl I like. Focusing on the friendship first and waiting for a sign of more liking from the girl or guy is sometimes the best for some people. I know that some people would like to go for it right away. Everyone has a different style when it comes to dealing with love interests. Just playing it smart for now.

That is cool that you are trying a new approach and it seems to be working out. Good luck with your relationship.

yeah, it works for men and women. I let a nice man get to know me for about two years now and we are just starting to let each other know what we mean to each other.
It is a releif when you don't have to wonder 'will he still love me tomorrow. . '

Merle

I think that is the best way to start a relationship. If it works in such a way that you aren't demanding or having a one tracked mind for it just to be more than a friendship.

My only experiences in this situation were both good and negative. The only real negative aspect I experienced was in an intimate relationship. But I didn't take the time to know him and he really didn't want to take the time to know me. Little did I know that he was already dating a girl while we were "friends". I guess I blame myself but I felt confused since it's always been hard for me to move ahead or initiate what I want out of a relationship.

I have always had trouble in understanding where a friendship stands with the opposite sex. Most of them were just friendships and that never dissappointed me. But I have never been able to read between the lines when it came to something more desired than a friendship. I usually assume safely that they want to just hang our or do things that most people do in their friendships.

I hope this makes sense......

I have been trying a similar approach with the girl I like for the past year. According to an NT I talked about it with, that persistence is at least part of the reason I've gotten this far.

It depends on your personality and character, really. I took this approach with one girl, and while it did work to a limited extent (I f****d up the prospects for something romantic independently of my approach right when things started heading in that direction), I think going into things within the first few hours of knowing her is important. Hell, with the aforementioned girl when we were sitting down at lunch, one of my graduate student friends swooped in and sat beside us. He initiated eye contact immediately with her and started to almost instantly capture her attention. After 10 minutes of small talking with this kid, I could tell she was attracted to him just by her gaze patterns. He isn't exactly attractive at all, but it's pretty obvious he's very bright.

Anyways, after that experience, I don't think I'm going to take more than a couple hours (even less, ideally) after establishing some rapport with a girl to make my intentions clear. The aforementioned guy started the "attraction process" almost instantaneously with his gaze patterns.

I think this will go against the intuitions of some of the girls here, but I'm pretty sure that most girls, even nerdy girls, want to get swept off their feet.

This is what I always do, but I can't say it's ever worked.

I tried going slow with the last girl I liked. It worked well to a point as I became really good friends with her, but I think we stayed that way for too long (plus other lads liked her as well) and she never seen me in that way. I tried to initiate the first kiss but she didnt want to be more than mates with me (which I see as stupid because I believe that your gf/bf is really your best friend). She never forgave me for it either which made it worse and since then I have been too shy to even think about liking somebody else because I'm scared this will happen again and it took a lot of confidence out of me which I haven't really recovered from to be honest.

By all means get to know her first and become good friends with her (despite my experience I know it is still the right way to do things). All I would say is just be a bit wary when you start to try and take it up to the next level.

Good for you.

I always try to go slow, but it goes against every fiber of my being...

Obsessiveness and whatnot...

I'm slowly learning to be less uptight and just have fun with girls...

I'm so cerebral it's hard to know what social fun is sometimes...

Sometime patience is a great thing to have because it helps deal with stress. In this case, I'm not stressing out because I keeping my head cool and focus on other things along with the friendship.

I personally think my way of taking slow for me and some people while a different approach for some people. Everyone has their own way to get into a relationship basically.

It is been awhile since I last posted on my subject matter.

Anyway, I'm still taking my time and correct judgment with my friend. I did gave her a card to represent our friendship and she like the card a lot. Through out the Mason Home Basketball Games we usually sat close or next to each other during them and had a blast. The last game was such a blast for us and even more she asked me if I wanted to go to Senior Ice Cream Social which I said yes to. We along with everyone else had a blast that last game and it was wonderful time.