Time To End Questions

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I think it's time to end questions about why dating is so hard. I've noticed that aspie girls and aspie guys don't understand it. heck, I barely understand the first thing.But here's the answer to why aspie guys don't get gfs.

Here's why aspie guys have so much trouble with women. Every person, as far as I know, with aspergers, becomes obsessed with the topic that they're interested in. Wheteher it be games, science, music and so forth. To aspies and most people, the more effort one puts into something, the more that that something will give back. If you practice music everyday and become obsessed with it, then you will soon become very good. So if an aspie guy or girl is interested indating, they will become obsessed. If one is obsessed then they come off as desperate, but if a girl is desperate, most guys wont care, cuz it doesnt really matter to them. if a guy is desperate, girls run away and get creeped out. I've experienced this first hand as both sexes. I've found that I can text a guy 100 times a day and he won't get creeped out, but if i were to do that to a girl, she'd be creeped out.
If girls had to go by the same rules of dating as men had to, every aspie girl would be single and frustrated.
What do guys do? just leave the girls alone. that simple

It makes some sense, girls are known to multitask more than guys, so a display of interest is going to get noticed, then brushed aside for the next thing.

So what you're saying is that multiple displays of interest send a message so strong that it'll actually scare them away. I can see how that would work.

A major trait of male attractiveness (in the straight world, here) seems to include being considered desirable in general. That is, if one is generally desired then he will have no desperation about finding a partner -- and so confidence in that manner has come (in an evolutionary way) to denote high desirability. Of course this is an instinctual thing, so males counter-evolved to 'fake it' a little (or a lot) to seem more confident than they naturally are. I think this is a part of what makes things hard for ASD males; not faking the trappings of male confidence in a normal/convincing way.

Chapeau bas



My Respect.

^ isn't it the truth?

Nope.

A more appropriate summary would be that while the ideal is appreciated, no one wants to be the object, literally, of someone's affections and that such overwhelming presence and approach does much more harm than good in pursuing a relationship.

Giving up is the easy avenue, and anyone can do it; learning and adapting are the real challenges.


M.

From what I can gather from what you are saying, we might aswell give up and die alone???

That is extreme and quite insulting.

I'd have to say that the opposite is true for me. I can't seem to find someone who is obsessed enough with me. I want to be someones obession. I want them to devote all their time to me and do everything they can for me (reciprocated of course, I am not a user). I get obsessed with guys I like and my every thought is about what I can do for them and wanting to be with them. I want someone to feel the same way about me. Maybe the guys I date follow the rule set out by the OP and think its not good to be 'desperate' for girls.

*sigh*

I'd also like to add that plenty of guys are 'freaked out' by 'desperate' women. Many men would run for the hills if you texted them 100 times a day.

So I guess I'd have to disagree with the OP entirely.

^ Yeah that's what they say. I don't understand why though. It's much 'healthier' to live only for yourself?

Here's the thing. I can be self-sufficient. I can do what I like to do and not need anyone else. But I don't see any reason to be in a relationship if that were the case. That is just not the kind of relationship I enjoy. I have no desire to be in a non-codependent relationship. What is the purpose?

*shrug*

its true. a girl did want me, i obsessed, she went away, i stopped obsessing, she wants me again, but i dont want her.

its useful to know, but useless for reproduction.

the answer is simple of course: want a girl but not obsess. i tried that on one date, but i aspied out and ranted her away.
at least i didnt obsess this time. progress!