Rejected by my friend.

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I'm new here and I need advice. For some time I've been in love with my best friend. For this past year, he always confides me, and I'm his only close female friend. I have ADD, and he is NT but slightly weird. All this time he behaves and gives me attention as if he loves me very much, so yesterday I summoned up the courage to express my feelings to him. But he said that to him I'm "just a friend." I cried alone for sometime and is very confused.

Is it often for a guy to change his mind once he's decided to reject a girl? I'm not sure whether to be patient and give him another chance or not. Is there such thing as non gf material? Perhaps because I'm too every day, not mysterious or challenging enough? Please tell what should I do because I still love him.

It seems he doesn't feel that way about you, but he obviously likes you as a close friend. Are you sure he likes the opposite sex? Maybe he views you like a sister? I doubt he'll change his mind, but I wouldn't let this ruin your friendship. Hope all goes well.

Ouch. That's always the worst, when someone gives you mixed or just plain wrong signals and then you fall in love and put yourself out there.

Please know that it happens to the best of us, it's a part of life, and that it's ok to feel bad, but don't feel bad about yourself. It's not you, it's him, and it just wasn't meant to be.

Odds are he won't change his mind. Even if he does, he probably won't treat you the way you want to be treated in a relationship. It will end up where he will dump you the first time someone more his tastes comes along, and it will just get even more hurtful and complicated.

Cry it out for a week, then refocus. Don't spend as much time together, because it will just hurt more. Resist the urge to make him feel guilty about it -- there's no point to that anyways. There's nothing you can or should change about yourself to make him love you, so please don't wreck who you are for him.

There are plenty of fish in the sea. I know this is hard to hear or believe, but I've been on this planet for a while, seen a lot of things, experienced some relationships, been dumped, did a lot of dumping, had crushes, been crushed on, etc. -- it's just part of life. You will find the perfect person for you, so don't force this one or hurt yourself trying.

Sometimes they change their mind, sometimes they don't.

I was recently in a situation where I was rejected by someone based on some asinine ideas she has about relationships. I tried to convince her that I could still be good enough, even though I wasn't Mr. Perfect, but it didn't register with her.

I've been there too. Billsmithglendale puts it well; if you manage to convince him to change his mind, he will probably treat it like he's doing you a favour, which is a really horrible feeling in a relationship, once the intitial crush has worn off.

Ironically, once you start to distance yourself a bit, he might very well start crushing on you (that happened in my case), but don't go running back to him; give it a while and see if it lasts. In the meantime, go find a few other guys to fancy

I managed to take it all in with dignity, not beg, or be needy, or even show anger in front of him. He did say he is surprised I'm so cool and relaxed, though god knows how it's like hail and thunderstorm inside. The friendship is still there though I think I'm taking the advice to distance myself a bit.
I have a social problem, that although I'm nice with everyone and everyones nice with me, yet it's difficult for me to find close friends either female or male, let alone relationships. So this has been quite a blow to me.

Some people just can't see what's in front of them.

It's best not to get too upset by it, you can't change it.

If he's not 100% sure, it will come out when you date someone else.

Speaking from the perspective of a dude, he's not going to change his mind. Move on. Usually, unless the guy is a total wimp, he'll put the moves on you as soon as he feels possible. If he's not trying to escalate your relationship with him to something sexual or hinting at doing that, he's not into you.

Well, this usually happens the other way around, so it's kinda different when the girl is rejected. Like others have said, if he was interested in you, he probably would have said, or done something about it by now. Is it possible for people to change their minds, once they decide you are just a friend, yes, but this doesn't happen very often.

When people are interested, they are usually interested in you from the beginning, even if they won't admit it. When they give mixed signals, it usually means they aren't 100% into you and/or they have some issues.

The weird thing is that it usually happens the other way round, as seen by reading this forum. I could almost swear he was interested. 80% of his emails are just short of love letters in tone. I suppose he's just one of those guys not interested in a commitment or a relationship with anyone, or the X factor isn't there. His jokes are often very suggestive of us as couples, I wish he hadn't done that and made my hopes soar (then crash so hard).

Holy cow! I cant believe it. Your prediction is right. Just 3 days ago he was so cold and heartless and says he has no special feelings at all, now he behaves as if he can't let go, miss me a lot, and looks so glum. He didn't say anything yet. But I will still stay away for sometime and focus on something else.

Guys can be startled. He might have been caught flat footed by the confession and now that he has time to think about it he might be thinking "why the hell wouldn't I want to be more than friends". Many guys who are just friends kind of resign themselves to it. He might just have needed a few days to churn the idea over in his head.