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I am confused if i might be gay or hetero, and i have been so for a long time. I shave my legs, dress with nice clothes, have had several crushes on boys 14-25 etc. It started when i was 14, at a youth club, I saw the most beautiful boy in my life, he had sharp eyebrows, light brown skin, big, but sharp eyes....
He saw me, stared at me for a while, and then came over, asking me to eat a pizza together with him, and i said yes, we ate the pizza, and before i managed to get out of the room, he slapped my *ss, saying i was cool and amazing; nice *ss, cute face, athletic build.... But i said no, sadly, i was too young to know where i should be, and i have regretted it ever since

I get turned on by girls, but not guys, but i feel a stronger.... direction towards boys and think there's something about them. IS THIS A SIGN OF HOMOSEXUALITY??!?!?!?

It's not necessarily a sign of homosexuality.

Don't believe in conventional norms, it's possible to view guys as attractive and be straight.

Just go with the flow, like who you want. Conventional society sucks anyway.

I know you'll probably hate me for saying this, I hate myself for saying this, because it was said to me all the time...

You're still young. You've got plenty of time to figure out what you want. Dating is better when you get older, anyway, you're more likely to find someone worth keeping. If you want a boyfriend, get a boyfriend. If you want a girlfriend, get a girlfriend. Why do you have to be straight or gay? There is nothing wrong with being bisexual or bicurious. Okay?

Writing/typing my thoughts at any particular moment out and then glancing back over them quickly has always cultivated my powers of introspection.

It's normal to feel a lot of confusion at that age -- I was still sorting out things, and to some degree am now. Sometimes it isn't just about male versus female, but other things in between (like transvestites or transgender).

Since you're under 18, obviously we're somewhat limited in what we can advise you to check out as far as mature content or experiences.

What I would say is that you have some exploring to do over the years -- you do seem quite fixated on men, much more so than most normative heterosexual men would be. So obviously something is there.

Also, I do know of gay men who are still attracted to some women, so that part doesn't rule out anything.

I would say you should just take your time, do what is comfortable for you, and ALWAYS be careful and exercise safe practices. You have a lot of years ahead of you, don't spoil them now.

Sexuality, like neurodiversity, is a wonderfully varied 3D cloud of possibilities. We usually think about simple binary categories (gay/straight, aspie/NT), or maybe a linear scale (the autism spectrum, the Kinsey degrees of bisexuality), but it's really much more complicated than that.

And let's throw in gender variations and types of asexuality/demisexuality, too.

There is often a difference between who we are attracted to visually (and imaginatively), who we are actually sexually attracted to, and who we have romantic & affectional feeling about. And they all drift over time.

My advice is to explore your feelings, and be as open and candid with other people as you can without being inappropriate. Don't be in a rush to follow any particular path. Get in touch with the feelings, and follow them.

You may find, for example, that you get excited looking at girls, but kissing a guy is way better than kissing a girl (or whatever). That's information about yourself. You may find that it's really about individuals, not the category they belong to, or you may have very specific 'types'.

Have fun.

Great posts already on this thread.

I just wanted to add that you shouldn't let other people give you the impression that if you like guys, then that would mean that you are somehow weak or less of a man for doing so. The truth is that it takes an amazing amount of courage and strength to accept and stand up for oneself without running away.

Easy way to solve it. Would you want a relationship with a man? Would you want a relationship with a woman? If you see both as potential partners, it could mean that you are bi-sexual. The only way to really know is to try them out. A woman can offer things a man can not, and a man can offer things a woman can not.
In your stats you are 16. You are still pretty much forming your future identity and it will take time to settle into the person you will become. This isn't an overnight thing

It is necessarily a sign of homosexuality, or more likely, bisexuality. Sorry, I see no gray area here. At 16, the OP should know for sure what he wants, and from all indications, he wants to be bi.

I beg to differ. I'm 41, and I have no f*cking clue what I want. Your rigid beliefs may apply to *you*, but they certainly don't apply to everyone (or anyone) else.

I think i'm bi, i have had fantasies about waking up beside a hot guy that would refuse to let me walk out of the room and drag me into bed again, kissing me.

What's your real concern here, though? Are you ashamed of the notion that you might be bisexual or homosexual? If not, why does the confusion over your attraction to other males upset you? You live in a very liberal, open-minded part of the world; you're lucky. Ultimately, you have no one to answer to but *you*. Always be true to yourself.

Sounds like a nice dream.

For many years I had known about my own bisexuality, but I hadn't been entirely comfortable with the homosexual side of it. It took me a while to really get comfortable with it, and help me to put it in appropriate perspective. So at least for that reason, please don't feel rushed into anything, because really at 16 you've got a whole lot of life ahead of you. It's totally ok if there's anything about how you feel that you're not too sure about. All I can suggest, though, is not to close your mind to things too quickly, as once closed a mind is difficult to re-open again.

I know what you're going through can get pretty rough at times, so hang in there! When it's all said and done, finally accepting my own bisexuality gave me a really big sense of power and confidence (or maybe it's the other way around?), and definitely one of the best things that ever happened to me. The way I see it, being bi just means that we know how to appreciate the finer points of both men and women. Nothing wrong with that, from where I'm sitting.

Although Scandinavia in general has a reputation for liberal open-mindedness, as well as high quality of life and stuff, if you look more closely then you'll see the cracks. They might be liberal and "open-minded" compared to many other cultures, but the Scandinavian cultures are also extremely homogeneous, so in practice it's more of a "yes we're open-minded about differences, we just don't have to live with them"... which brings into question just how open-minded the culture really is.

I know there is some kind of old philosophy that exists in Norway and perhaps Nordic countries in general, there is a name for it but I forget what it's called... but it has something to do with not judging people, not being any better than anybody else, don't strive to be different from anybody else because sameness ensures equality, no sitting on top of a mountain by yourself... it's only more recently that I think there is real progress away from the "don't be different from anybody else" part of it, but of course old habits die hard. Norway's legal stance on same-sex marriage is only very recent, but public opinion lags behind. It's kind of like racism in the US; it's been over 40 years since desegregation but there's still a lot of racism even now.

Of course the native Norwegians please correct me if I'm wrong, you certainly understand it better than I do, I'm just drawing from my own observations, visiting friends there, hearing of some homophobic things that go on...

Our questioning friend is far better off in Norway than he'd be if he were stuck somewhere in the Midwest or southern U.S. though, don't you think? *Shudder*

Yeah, seriously! I definitely agreed with your posts (especially the one about being 16), but just wanted to indicate that accepting one's own sexuality, especially when it's not heteronormative, is going to be hard no matter what, so I wish the OP all the best.