Should I?

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I was officially diagnosed as PDD-NOS a the age of 23. My mother (who has now thoroughly read up on Autism and Asperger's) says that I was a very typical Aspie. Prior to diagnosis that I had several mis-diagnoses.

As a result I am a female 25 almost 26 rising senior at a major southern university. I'm struggling to finish on time and to get the disabilities dept. on campus to be more helpful.

However, that's not my real dilemma. Last year after I transfered in to full time, I fell for someone. We were and still are good friends. In fact, he's my best friend. But my biggest problem is reading people ( I still can only recognize 6 facial expressions 100% of the time even after therapy.) I don't know how to tell if he'd be interested in dating. I'm extremely afraid of losing such a close friend.

Then there is the fact that he is 19 and will be turning 20 a few months before I turn 26 and that I will be graduating *fingers crossed* a year before he does.

Any advice?

screw the punk.

screw him how ?XD

ask friends who know you both what they think of his signals to you.

I don't understand this mentality. In fact, one of the main complaints by men in this forum is that women would rather not risk the friendship than ask out the man whom they love and who loves them in return. I've also found through my own experience that the sooner you ask, the better. If he says no, well it was never meant to be. If he says yes, wonderful! But either way, you won't know until you ask. It's hard, but there's really only one way to do it.

One of you asking the other one out is not going to cause any serious damage. Worst case, you give each other distance for a few days and then things are back to normal. Just go for it, nothing's going to happen.

It isn't a bad idea, but you have to realize that a man his age is just in a bad position for a serious relationship. I'm into older women myself, so I support the idea. I think younger men can be more appreciative. What do you know about him?

I guess the reason I'm so afraid is because I can count good, close friends who appreciate me no matter that I'm not NT on one hand throughout my entire life. I rarely get that much understanding from my own family.

Like I said I spent 18 years mis-diagnosed with everything from ADHD to schizophrenia and was on the meds for the whatever they thought I had at the time for over 15. I spent years so doped up the only interaction I had with people on a daily basis was my mom making me take my meds.

So a good friend is worth his weight in gold to me.

I know a great deal about him... including things he hasn't told his parents. During break it hurt not to be able to see him... I guess the only thing really holding me back at this point is fear... but it would suck so much if he stopped being my friend.

Wow.....
This post eerily mirrors my current world.
Except my person doesn't have as big an age gap and is currently.... well unavailable.

I feel your pain but if the guy isn't with anyone go for it!

What kind of none verbals is he giving you, at least teh kind that you can read? Do you ever touch him? How does he react?

A twenty-six year old woman and a nineteen year old man is not the most usual relationship. Never the less, it still could work. He may be very shy . He may be uncertain of a twenty-six year old woman showing any kind of more-than-platonic interest in him. He may be a typical nineteen year old kid who is just plain goofy (as I was at nineteen).

Proceed with caution. Hint at him and see how he takes the hints.

It's better to drop a few hint and have him not take to the hints than to lose a friend. Good luck to ya.

Just give it your best shot. You have nothing to lose.

I know exactly how you feel. This happened to me for 18 months and I never said anything cos I didn't want to ruin the friendship cos the guy I liked wasn't really the romantic type and anyway I'm not sure I'm the type anyone wants to be seen with cos I was always the bottom of the cool pile. I did nothing and it was 'fine' I guess we were still friends but then he heard I'd been spreading rumours about me and him dating and going all the way (which I HAD NOT) and now we're not talking. But now I thin I have found out the rather cruel side to him I never knew existed, and am trying to move on. And desperate to repair our friendship of course, he was very important to me.
I would like to say go for it, but I know exactly how you must be feeling about it and that's what everyone told me about my problem, so I can't.
I hope your situation will work out though and you find he feels the same for you and the time comes to let him know your feelings. I'm sure it will. Let us know how it goes

I don't understand it either. I've had it explained to me as if they try and it doesn't work out, they'll never be able to look at each other the same again. Apparently some people react very negatively when a friendship-turned-fwb-turned-bf/gf goes wrong, and they don't just break up, they lose the friendship from the rejection because they think they can't be friends anymore then. That's probably what they mean by not wanting to take the chance.

Having never had 'male friends', I have no experience in this at all.

There are more than 6 facial expressions?

The danger is you get romantically involved and then break up and then things are weird.

I don't see any problem with expressing interest. If he's not into that sort of a relationship, then just stay friends. I've been in plenty of situations of mis-matched romantic interest with friends of all genders and I've never lost a friend over it. Take it slow and be honest.

If you read about 98% of the other threads in this section--men are absolutely afraid of the "nice guy" syndrome. So, proceed.