What is this?

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Before I tell the story, I know that this is not love. So please no "you're not in love" comments. I know that.

2 years ago I was surfing myspace and was coming across profiles of people I used to go to school with. I found my neighbor, who I hadn't seen since graduation years earlier. At first, she seemed happy to hear from me, but I went too fast for her I guess and asked her to go out for a drink. (On her profile it said something like "I can go out for a drink and watch the game anyday of the week.) She didn't respond, which normally I'd take as a sign of disinterest but I figured I'd see what's up, so I sent her a message apologizing if I scared her off. Wasn't expecting a response back, just wanted to clear my mind. Surprisingly, I got a response back and she said that I didn't scare her off, that she's busy and doesn't have time to reply to her messages as soon as she'd like to, that she's busy with college but that when she got free time, she promises she'll get in touch with me. The message seemed heartfelt and sincere as well as to the people I showed it too.

I don't know what happened to me. I had a Kevin Spacey in American Beauty moment. All of a sudden I was alive again, listening to "I want to know what love is" by Foreigner. I remembered exactly what she looked like in high school and thought "Wow, why didn't I find her attractive then?" She isn't a model, but that's the point, the fact that I was attracted to her, regardless of what the world thinks of her appearance, made me feel really good. I can't remember ever feeling that good.

Anyway, because of this, I was overeager and impatient. Long story short scared her off. That's not the point though. I stopped persuing her, just think about her from time to time. I have dreams even when a few weeks go by without thinking about her where we're holding hands, making out, playing in the leaves together, at events with our arms around each other. I have seen prettier women, but I have never seen a woman that I personally found as pretty as her, celebrities included.

What is this feeling I was experiencing and experience from time to time when she comes to my mind? I know it isn't love, but for those of you who have been in love, is this what it's like? A fireworks display of internal happiness?

I know the feeling well. It's the beginning of real love. It's hormones mixed with "fairy dust" and our projections, since we don't really know the other person. If you were to be with her long enough, that would all wear off and real love will start or you will leave her because she does not meet your needs and expectations. The beginning is a lot of fun. Enjoy it!

(I'm sorry she is not reciprocating though.)

This may be a case of nostalgia, you knew her from highschool and you might not have had many good memories there. When someone like her affirms you as a person, it feels like things were ok all along. Just a theory here.

I was in a similar situation, I had this archetype of someone who was perfect to me, just thinking about making her smile made me happy. I was motivated like no other. It never would've worked out (married), so I just deal with the feeling. The euphoria is long gone.

I think you're both right, though I never talked to her in high school. I knew her K through elementary. Her mom was friends with my mom and her and I were friends. So along with attraction, it could be a case of nostalgia making it more intense.

The only thing that bothers me is that it wasn't, and isn't exactly a stretch for her to drive her car 20 seconds or walk a minute over my house and just say hi and have a conversation. The only thing I can think of is like I said I was a little overeager and maybe she figured "I haven't heard from this guy in years and he seems to be too interested in me" and mistakes a crush for something threatening. From my standpoint, though, like the first response said, her and I could hang out and I could find out it was fools gold and my feelings would end. Or I'd like her and we'd be an item. This isn't There's Something About Mary. I think of other women all the time, try to meet other women, hope to meet a girlfriend that's new and gives me similar but new feelings. In fact, I'd argue the only reason she even comes to mind occasionally is because I have to drive by her house to get to places.

I wonder what this assumption comes from. Did she blow you off, did she stop responding? What happend that makes you say you scared her off? Are you sure you did?

Something else I'd like to know is: did you start feeling this way during or after you've had contact with her? The reason I ask is because some people somehow get this fairy-tale lovelike feeling when someone's hard to get (or not gettable at all ). That's what is portrayed in American Beauty too... an impossible love that is ever more sweet that reality.

During, and the feelings were more intense during than after or now. I felt 15 again at the time. Then made me less interested that she wasn't interested. She made it clear without being direct that she wasn't interested (didn't specify whether it was because she was straight up uninterested or because I scared her off.) Contacting her isn't an option. And like I said, I'm trying to find new women that make me feel similar that reciprocate back.

I'd say now that this is nostalgia more than anything else. She doesn't look the same, and more importantly, is a different person. I'm remembering the girl with the jean jacket and innocent smile that I saw at a young age, not who she is now...someone who still parties with the same people from 10 years ago on weekends and treated me like dirt. If there are any lessons to be learned, people change, and sometimes looks are deceiving.