this is pretty weird

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This girl that I've been on a single date with asked if she could practice giving me a thai body massage (she's a massage therapist part time) this week before our 2nd date this upcoming weekend. Is she basically throwing herself at me or does she really just want to practice her massage technique? I mean, you're basically naked for these things. She told me she asked me because I'm the first person she talked to today, but that sounds like a horrible excuse, I'm sure she could find plenty of other people to practice on. I almost want to tell her I'm not so easy as we haven't really gotten very physical yet and if she really just wants to practice, I'm going to have a super difficult time not popping a boner during this. If it's a come on, it's the most direct one I've ever gotten.

so I go from being depressed about a chubby girl not being interested in dating me all summer, having a bad drunken one night stand with some girl i barely know so i don't end up getting more depressed, and as a result of how boring that one night stand girl was, i get more depressed about the chubby girl, and then boom, I'm dating a girl a lot of guys are terrified of talking to without alcohol in them because she's so attractive and supposedly "cold."

what the hell is going on. on top of this, this girl was the first girl i ever had a crush on in high school and i'm now 23. she's also got a non-verbal learning disorder, meaning that she's basically got asperger's. furthermore, she's also a singer and super into jazz like me, and i've been looking for a good female singer for my band for ages.

Thaï massage?

She's going to walk all over you, litteraly :lol:

I don't think you should be upset by it but on the opposite.

Actually, it's not that easy to get people to practice on - when you're not a professional.

And massage doesn't imply sex - no Sir, not at all.

But it's surely a good way to know people, to know each other, and fast enough: the way she does it, the way you react.

And if you feel embarrassed, you can keep your underpants: you won't show more than if you were on the beach or at the swimming-pool.

Relax, there's a lot of people that would do anything, anything, for a back massage, I'm married to one

Getting the back into decent shape makes the rest of your body better.

If ya get a boner, ya get a boner, it happens. Say you're embarrassed, laugh about it, and get back to simply enjoying the company.

take a deep breath

enjoy the massage

Yes, shes "throwing herself" at you, No, its not blatantly sexual, you really should keep your cool, and also keep your confidence. a massage is very intimate and sensual, and she wants to give you that for free ;]

just dont get eager, and start grabbing for more, if you get my drift :]

She asked to touch you because she wants to touch you. So, she's going to be touching you. Very sensual and very sexy. Nice move on her part, I'd say. Play it as cool as you can and let her take the lead. Enjoy.

Zena4 is correct. My husband knows two people who went to massage school together. They ended up going to a coffee shop one day to recruit random strangers because they did not know enough people to get enough practice on.

I once learned something related, and practiced on pretty random people. I never slept with any of them, or tried to. I am sure none of them would have let me lay hands on them if they'd thought it was a come one. I have known others who practiced on all sorts of people without having sex in mind. She may mean exactly what she says.


You could tell her that this possibility worries you because 1) you don't want to offend her and 2) you don't know each other well enough that you'd feel comfortable if you'd get an erection when she puts her hands on you. If she just wants to practice, she knows she can just ignore an erection if it comes, because she can trust you not to misunderstand her wish to practice for a come on. If it is a come on, she knows to take it a bit slowly.

I can't advise you on what to do if this is a come one. Mostly my comment is aimed at you not offending her by mistaking an innocent request for a come on, because I know for sure it doesn't have to be a come on.


That should only be a concern if you think she'll use you for a bit of fun that means a lot less to her than to you, then dumps you. You mention you had a crush on her in high school, so you should know a bit about her. You say she has a reputation for being cold. That doesn't sound like someone who casually picks up and dumps guys.

If you tell her you're not easy, you imply that she is a user, and you don't want to be used. You saying you are not easy says something not only about you. It also says that you see a real risk of her emotionally abusing you. That would be a direct insult. There are people who deserve to be insulted, but you should think very carefully whether you want to include this girl in that set.


Sounds like you don't want to insult her.

Thai massage is hardcore by the way and not in a porno way, be prepared for pain it's not a sexual advance unless she mentions a happy ending, don't mention said ending yourself and try not to get a stiffy unless she touches it

Keep an open mind and enjoy it, you'll feel great afterwards just not during

If something like that would happen to me, i would allow her to practice her massage techniques on me.

Though i have never gotten a thai massage, getting one is great and reduces stress! i take one before i go an a long flight or before the start of the school year.

try to make it a date with a thai theme! take her out to a thai resturant before the massage. that will spice things up!

I agree with the people who say it's just a massage. It doesn't necessarily indicate sexual or strong physical attraction. But it definitely indicates comfort; she feels comfortable enough with you to massage you while you're lying nude (draped with a towel) or at least shirtless. I've had professional massages before, and they feel great, and having a cute masseuse do it makes it even better. (Still, they're nothing like the happy ending massages that my ex-girlfriend used to give me.) In your case, assume that there is no happy ending; just lie still, and let her do the work. It definitely sounds like something fun for you. If you're concerned about getting an erection, here's a solution: masturbate at least twice before you go out to meet her for a massage session. You'll drain your "energy" enough to prevent it from happening.

Since you have been on at least one date with her, it sounds like she IS flirting, but that doesn't mean she wants anything more than a massage....for now.

Possibly she is still trying to complete her qualifications. In California, after you have the training, you need to log 1000 hours (yes, one thousand) before you can get your final license. I had this exact situation about 35 years ago. It was the only time a woman has offered me a massage.

i watched some videos on youtube, and i confused the thai massage with some other type of massage. you don't need to strip down to your underwear for it, it's more about stretching the person out in all sorts of positions. this is actually really chill. the odds of popping a chub during it seem pretty unlikely and if it happens, it happens, i don't care.

this same girl had what i suspect was a huge crush on me in high school as she was asking her friends about me and straight up told another friend within earshot of me that i was the only dude in our high school that she was actually interested in. now all i need to do is avoid falling for her again because if i do, i'll get all depressed when i have to move away for grad school next year. given her facebook status after the first date ("i had the most wonderful day i've had in years yesterday and for that reason i'm kind of sad"), i suspect she's already on the way there herself.