Trying to reconnect long distance

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Well, as I mentioned in other posts, I am 29 years old. originally from Russia. I moved to USA when I was 14, and I lived there ever since. So basically first half of my life I lived in Russia and second half in USA. I recently moved to India to do post doc. I feel very isolated here, don't feel a lot in common with most people. And I am definitely NOT interested in dating Indian girls. I only date ppl with European descent, thats a rule.

Anyway, I guess emailing some people in Europe or USA whom I never met and asking for long distance relationship is not very realistic. So I am thinking of reconnecting with some girls whom I did meet back in USA.

While I am open to explore different possibilitites of various girls whom I met that I might want to reconnect with, I would like to start with one particular girl, Anne, whom I met in a math class, simply because she would have been my top choice anyway. We only knew each other for may be a month and a half, back in 2005, but I fell rock hard for her and I couldn't forget her all the way till now. Back during the first week of a relationship, she would have agreed that the first week that we knew each other we got really close and that felt like we knew each other for a long time. But then I allienated her afterwords, over the fact that I wanted the actual relationship, while she wanted to just be friends, albeit very good ones. Her reason was that I still haven't dealt with the issue of independence from my parents (you can see this post http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt5922.html to read more details of what have happened).

I guess what I REALLY want to tell her is "I have now dealt with that issue, so lets have a relatioship". But she probably would just not respond to something like that. Appart from the factor of pushing something she didn't want to do, I also haven't spoken to her for four years, and now I moved to India. On the other hand, since I feel lonely now, part of me feels that even being just friends with her would be great. I guess the main issue is that I am insulted at her reasons of only wanting to be friends. So if I can get her to understand that the issues she had problem with before are no longer an issue, and the only reason we are just friends now is the distance, then that would be much better.

But again, I guess I am not really sure how to approach her or even find her. I googled her, and I found some web page on facebook that was set up by the students back when she was TA in 2005:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2 ... 2201519285
but this doesn't have any link to her own web page or email account. I tried to search on facebook for her name; found 3 people. Contacted all of them. Two said they are not her, the third didn't reply.

But anyway, I think the chances of my ever getting back with her are very slim. The other girl who is *almost* as good as her is Charlene, whom I met in 2007. Ironically in her case I would have much easier time contacting her if I wanted to since she added me on myspace back then. But, from her myspace account I see she is with someone, so she is not an option either. I guess I can ask her to introduce me to one of her friends, but I am not sure how likely she would be to do it since we only met once. On the other hand, she described herself driving hundrids of miles at night to comfort one of her friends, despite the fact that she was still living at home and it got her into trouble with her parents, to describe what kind of friend she is. So based on that, who knows may be she WILL try to introduce me to someone if she can go that far to help ppl. But then again, I also was the one who pushed and pushed her after her rejection, so may be she would not be as willing to do for me what she would be for someone else.

Then if it is neither Anne nor Charlene somehow I have three girls comming to mind that kept trying to talk to me and whom I always ignored. One was working at a certain restaurant, and I remember the location and look of that restaurant but not a name. The other worked at a grocery store, which again I remember the look and location but not a name. And the third one worked in Jimmy Jones which I CAN figure out the adress for since I know enough streets around it. I have no clue how I managed to ignore them in the EXACT same time I was obsessed that no one likes me. Based on their persistence in trying to talk to me, I guess there is a reason to suspect that one or more of these three girls had at least some interest. But since I always tried to cut off whatever the conversation they tried to start, I don't even know their names, so it would be very difficult to find them.

Then there is also one girl, Amber, who was sending me LONG emails (of the kind I write over here on wrongplanet) for a year and a half, which I always to ignored -- don't have patience to read a lot even though I write a lot. She then suspected that I was pissed at her, which I was suprised she did -- after all she barely knew me and she kept sending me such a long emails, that it sounded very impersonal; I didn't even think she expected a reply. So once she accuded me of not liking her I became rebelluous and insisted that I like her and that we should meet. So we did. She was overly nice before the meeting, so I asked her if it is okay I do some school work while at her place, she said definitely. But then when I actually did my schoolwork she became upset because she asked for a day off at work, and all I did was schoolwork. So then I started desperately yelling at her "can you take the day back, can you take another day off so I can make up for it, etc". So THAT was what pushed her off. Originally when she was upset that I did school work she was saying that yes I still have a chance I just need to get over my past mistakes. But after I yelled at her for two hours THAT was when she was no longer interested. And then the final blow was when I swore at her best friend, Heather, when she tried to call, just to let my anger out, after which she said she would "never, in a million years, have a relationship with me".

Anyway, that was two years ago. Then, a year ago, when I was a year into a relatioship with Jennifer, me and Jennifer had a fight, and I took it out by sending "F U" message to Amber. Amber's response to that message was "can I have your mailing adress please". That really scared the hell out of me because that made it look like she was trying to get restraining order or something, which I don't want since I don't want it to ruin my career. Anyway, I gave her my mailing adress, but I also included an explanation that my email was due to my anger at Jennifer, not her. Anyway, I never got any police calls or anything, and its been a year. So I don't know why she wanted an adress.

So I guess I would have tried emailing her, but I am too scared because of the "can I have your adress please".

Then there are probably other girls. But I think I completely got over them, so trying to reconnect to any of them wouldn't really be finding anything I miss; it would be just talking to a girl because she is a girl. But I guess I can try if I am trully desperate.

Or finally, may be I SHOULD just talk to the girls I never talked to before and simply ask for long distance. I know it is not realistic, but neither are any of the other things I suggest.

What do you think?