Does woman taking initiative scare the man?

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I mean on first approach. Does a woman asking a guy out invariably terrify a man, causing insta-dealbreaker/rejection? I have been told that it does, and that men do not want a woman that is too forward. Mom's told me it's not my 'job' to make the first move. I have to wait for a guy to show interest.

It may surprise them, but I really don't see how it would make matters worse.

Speaking as a man, I'd be flattered

It wouldn't bother me in the least. The longest relationship I ever had began when the woman asked me if I'd like to have coffee with her.

No, but you may think twice about the possibility of her having a hidden agenda..

I think it depends a lot on who the man is and what his level of interest is. As long as you don't have a lot of emotions on the line, it might be a good experiment just to start asking men out and observe their reactions. Find situations where you can get friendly with men, have a conversation, and ask them out. See what happens.

If there is one man in particular that you're very interested in, and the outcome of your interaction is extremely important to you, that's when you need to exercise a lot of caution to try to avoid mistakes.

Amen to this... If women approached men all the time, I wouldn't even think of it unless something else were out of the ordinary... but it's so rare that it can make you suspicious...

That said, I dream all the time for a woman that makes the first move...

That is an interesting consideration. I wish to spend more time with a man who I'm pretty sure is not ever going to make the first move. It will have to be up to me, so I will have to try hard to make it clear that I have no negative agendas or motives to be suspicious of. I think taking more time to build up trust might be a good start.

well then why on earth would my parents, my grandparents, AND my brothers all tell me not to ask men out because it's incorrect (and recipe for fail) because women on principle shouldn't ask men out?

My brothers have both said they would NEVER go out with a woman that asked first.

It wouldn't bother me one bit. I'd be delighted to have a woman make the first more. That would make things WAY simpler.

I hate it when a woman positions herself expecting to catch my attention to coax me into making a move. So freaking confusing. Rarely would I act on such indirectness.

That's probably because she was taught that she MUST NOT make the first move, as I was taught. Blame her parents/grandparents/family for that. It was drilled into my head so thoroughly that this was NOT done, that I can't bring myself to do it...yet.

This just in! Gender roles are as prevalent in society as ever. And still as ridiculous and as pointless as ever.

Seriously. We have stay at home dads, men stewards, men cooks, women truck drivers, women soldiers. So WTF society? Get your heads out of your asses and rid yourself of ALL gender roles once and for all.

A certain inertia is built into society, revolutions notwithstanding. They are reallllllllly slow to change. It takes generations.

In my experience if I ask a man out directly it leads to a rejection.

What does work is to make eye contact and give a big smile. Most men will approach if you do this

I have no trouble with eye contact, but my face has a problem. Smiling is painful and looks strange when I try to because of the Lyme and what it's done to my facial muscles.

Ah. Two things I am lousy at. However, I don't want most men to approach me, so I guess this is ok for the most part.

OK then I have to wonder, would it scare NTs more, or AS more, to be forward?