"Be Flirtatious."

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So I'm working on this show I'm in right now. My acting teacher and I were working on one of my scenes together and for one of my lines, he said, "Be as flirtatious as you possibly can. Right now. With 100% dedication." Well naturally, I was at a loss of what exactly to do, and I told him so.

He asked me, "Haven't you ever been flirtatious before? Just do what girls do." And it just sort of dawned on me that the reason why I couldn't get into what he wanted was because I kind of ... well ... really haven't been flirtatious before. It's not that I didn't know what I was supposed to do. It's just that I couldn't get in touch with it.

And it's not that I'm like, uptight or prudish or anything, or lacking in sexual energy. I'm not. It's just that I'm pretty uncomfortable around most people that I don't even really get there.





So... I'm an actor. I have to get flirtatious. Is that a quality that you're like, born with?

I assume you are an aspie? Most of us don't know how to be flirtatious. Flirting is just a form of chit-chat: a conversation without any set topic or meaning. Kind of like Seinfeld: a show about nothing. We aren't good at that. There are probably hundreds of topics here on this subject. Lots of questions but no answers. I don't think there is an answer. We are what we are.

Yep, I've got Aspergers. So does that mean that I like... can't do it? Cuz I'm an actor and actors have to be able to play just about every range of emotion onstage. I'm worried that having AS could get in the way of being in touch with everything.

This is why I took up method acting, or at least a variant thereof... Aspies often have trouble expressing any emotions that aren't actually there, so you kinda have to force it... Has there ever been a guy you liked at all, or even just maybe had a crush on?

Lets see... I had a pretty big crush on a guy back in the 6th grade. But whenever I was around him I became a nervous wreck and could barely look at him, let alone be flirtatious.

It's a skill that can be learned... requires some trial-and-error and practice, but it's not impossible. Not sure how quickly the skill can be picked up, I didn't start figuring it out until I was in my 30's. Wish I could offer some tips - I would be terrible at describing it right now, and you do better with a description of flirting made by a woman.

You might check some of the countless threads written by guys asking "how can I tell if a girl likes me?" The descriptions of an interested woman's body language might be helpful.

Flirting comes up frequently in movies and television, too, and it might be helpful to see how those actresses handle the job.

Such as? Could you give me examples?

I'm afraid I won't be able to provide you with any specific examples - it's not something I usually look for in anything I watch.

Most of the immediate examples I can think of come from Film Noir and other older movies, but that's because I watch a lot of those types of movies (the flirting in Film Noir tends to take on a rather sinister tone that I doubt would be helpful in your case.)

It seems that "romantic comedies" were rather popular recently; I've never seen one, but there is bound to be some material to work with there, as I would expect them to play off a formula similar to: "boy and girl meet (with mandatory flirting), boy and girl lose each other through a series of (hopefully) funny obstacles and misunderstandings, boy and girl eventually get back together and live happily ever after."

I've seen characters flirting in recent episodes of House, Supernatural, Heroes, the assorted NCIS/CSI shows, and more.

I would say watch your favorite prime-time TV dramas; in many cases there will be at least a couple characters that are meant to be falling in love or in lust with each other. (If you don't watch any such TV shows, look for whichever ones are most popular and watch three or four of those as "homework", even if you don't like them.) Additionally, look carefully at any interactions between other male and female characters for any signs of "chemistry" and "sexual tension" at play: the flirting may be more subtle in cases where male and female characters have to work closely together but are not allowed for dramatic reasons to have an explicit romance, and thus might be interesting to study.

Some things to look for in any case would be eye-contact while smiling, characters leaning toward each other to talk while keeping hands and feet close to each other, innuendo and double-entendres (plays on words with sexual overtones), and any situation where a guy and girl seem to be competing with each other.

I am an Aspie actor.

"Flirtatious" is too ambiguous a direction for me on its own. If I had to play flirtatious, I would go down to a beat analysis of the text and make my assessments of who is in control, who is gaining control, etc. during the scene, and have an assessment of the subtext (i.e. what are the other motivations). [Fortunately that would all be in my book from the table work].

With that in place, I could then layer on flirtation.

My approach is to make the object of the flirtation the object of my character's attention, despite any other activity that is going on--the more that is going on around, the easier it is to demonstrate that the character is paying attention to nothing else.

By always looking at your fellow actor, even when speaking about something else, the audience gets the view that the character's attention is primarily on the other actor. How you do this depends upon the other elements of the character. A dominant character might lean in and subtly occupy the other character's space. A submissive character might look up from a slightly head down position, while occupying a very small amount of space.

A very large question is how your fellow actor is supposed to be responding to the flirtation, because that will dictate your character's changes through the scene--frustrated at a failure to pick up on the flirtation; engaging in an ongoing escalation of the flirtation; etc.

With some more context, I might be able to provide you with more.

My best guess at what your teacher is asking for is to get several of those lists of "body language signals of interest" that keep getting posted here -- anyone got any links? -- and start incorporating those.

Visagrunt seems to have some excellent suggestions

Thanks, guys!! !