question for the girls

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i ask this question because every girl i ever been with thinks i'm the greatest guy a live once they get to know me and i'm like i'm far from the greatest guy alive i'm whatcha get when you scrape the bottom of the bucket but anyways i ask all girl please explain your secreats to me

DragonChild,

Your question doesn't make any sense, can you rephrase and possibly elaborate a lil bit?


Also how old are you?

i am 20 years of age i'll be turning 21 soon but every girl who i date tells me i'm the greatest guy in the world but then they go cheating on me or hurting me in some way

Could you try to use proper grammar, please?

And, it sounds like you were being flattered. Some people tend to do that.

hmm sorry about the bad grammar but i seem to have gotten it into a bit of a habit with it. it's either that or i end up with no punctuation

Social protocol dictates that women who are dating a guy, especially for the first time, should tell him how wonderful he is. Often times, dating relationships involve a lot of flat-out lying and exaggeration in an attempt to make the other person feel good.

This occurs no matter how wonderful or awful the dating partner actually is: It is no indication of the actual nature of the person being complimented.

Love is blind--so is dating. Willingly blind, most of the time.

However, if you can get dates in the first place, I do not think you have any major deficiencies. Many people think that if others could "truly know them", they would be rejected; a poor self-image is common among those of our age (early 20s).

well thank you for your information

I agree with Louise.

It seems to me that what could be happening is a strange phenomenon. There are very nice guys (and girls) who seem to be a magnet for jerks who abuse them, cheat on them, or take advantage of them in some way. It's almost like the nicer you are, the more you get screwed! I've seen this happen time and time again. I think that it boils down to a boundary issue. What we call "nice" or "great" is often times someone whom we can pull one over on. Someone who can be manipulated. If you feel this might be your situation, you could probably benefit from defining your boundaries; when should you draw the line and not be so "nice". Once you've figured out the boundary lines, stick to them even if it means the other person won't like it.

Ever heard the old addage "nice guys finish last?"

Its come into play in nearly every dating scenario for me. The girl says she wants a nice guy, finds me - the typical nice guy - and runs with her tail between her legs. Why? Girls know what they want, but not what they need.

Sure, you dont want to be an all out jerk. I know that, and I feel the same. However its very easy to be too nice. You have to tease them, play with them, stimulate those needs while at the same time satisfying their wants.

i like all the advice keep it coming i need all the help the world has to offer

Autisticon wrote:
Sure, you dont want to be an all out jerk. I know that, and I feel the same. However its very easy to be too nice. You have to tease them, play with them, stimulate those needs while at the same time satisfying their wants.



Tell me you're joking. Is this an indication of why the word 'con' appears in your user name?

Relationships and flirting and dating and all of that stuff

is just game-playing

and more game-playing

to various degrees.

That's all it is.

Sex, romance and relationships are all power struggles and ego-gaming.

So, what you're experiencing is just a normal symptom of someone trying to figure someone else's game out.

Everyone plays totally differently, and I don't reckon there's any advice that a girl could give a boy that would apply across the board.

Each relationship is as unique as a snowflake (sorry if it sounds cheesy, but it's true)

Edited to add: Them saying that you're the greatest guy ever is probably just something that you're picking up on. I don't doubt it's true, but I wouldn't take it <i>literally</i>.

I find it hard to understand how they could have those actions if that was what they thought of you. I am not saying it is your failing, but I think you have been lied to.

This isn't true. You are taking the fact she wants a nice person to mean she would want you. People break up all the time when both people are nice, it didn't mean that being nice caused it, it meant that those two people didn't work out. Generalizations like this are ridiculous, just because someone didn't want you (not you personally, you in the infinitive) doesn't mean they don't know what they want or that your image of yourself is accurate even. I would be willing to guess a lot of "nice guys" really aren't as nice as they think they are, and being nice doesn't mean you area good spouse. That isn't the womans failing if she isn't attracted any more than it is the mans if he isn't.

No, its cleary a reference to Transformers, as the avatar would indicate. Honestly, how would what I said in anyway indicate I'm some sort of con artist? I'd love to hear it...



No, I am taking the fact that every desirable woman is dating a total jerk. I'm not saying this is in anyway the man or the womans fault. I'm just saying if you give someone too much of what they want you will not be satisfying their needs. Relationships are all about games, as much as I hate to admit it. You can deny this all you want, but 98% of the time this is the case. And dont think I'm just stating my opinion... go to google and search for "nice guys finish last" or something to that extent if you dont believe me.