I should just start life over......

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iv really wasted my life....virgin at 22 ....college dropout

so many chances to get with girls but always been too insecure to even take 1 step foward.....really sad. alot of girls apparently found me attractive but I was just too stupid or afraid

now im living by myself with very few friends and it feels like I have to climb up a mountain of buit-up hurdles and it feels like im a millions away.

Ironically im in the best shape of life after biking for a year straight although I could put on some more muscle.

It feels like I have to be a rockstar literally to get laid and actually have a life.

I keep telling myself that I this is the way it goes nothing I can do about the past. I just cant get over how much I hate myself because I could have easily changed things if I had been more openminded.

didnt have any friends in high school and was pretty much a loner what f*****g waste

oh and I look at alot of porn to compensate. And I feel like a scumbag

Ok. Maybe you've not made the most of every opportunity you've had so far but you're 22. That's not that old. You will get more opportunities. They might not look immediately obvious now so reach out more. Find clubs that do interesting things and join them. Do volunteering or something, anything to get you out and meeting people.

Being a college dropout isn't great but it's not the end of the world. I have friends who never finished university and tbh I'd have gone out with one of them if they'd asked me. Do you have a job?

You said yourself that a lot of girls found you attractive. If that's the case then the chances are fairly high that a lot of girls will still find you attractive. Maybe things won't happen immediately but you've got to go and be at least a little bit proactive about it. You can't change the past but what you do now can change your future.

yea I have a job. Pretty much slave labor full time minimum wage.

Im not living in the area I want to and I cant leave because I dont have any money and I feel stuck. The only attractive girls In my area are the ones from college and why would they want someone who isnt in college and has nothing else going? I really have no connection to the campus anymore ...and I have a sh***y old car

If I could be me myself right now and just start college I think I could be about 80% percent better about everything. I had that chance 4 years ago and I blew it.

Obviously no friends/no experiences in high school was an awful gateway into college

I just kinda feel like at this point why bother......my life just seems completely f****d up.

Well, just cause you dropped out of college doesn't mean you caint go back. I dropped out last year, but I'm planning to return once life gets a bit more settled.

As far as the girls thing, trust me, you didn't miss much. Yea, you may have found 'the one', but it's even more likely you wouldn't have, and would be in the same boat, just not a virgin. And trust me, you could be a lot worse off than a virgin. Spin it like this: 'I can guarentee with 100% accuracy that I am completely disease free.' Should get at least a chuckle, and that does wonders to release the tension.

Other than those bit's of advice, I'm not sure what, if any help you want from us, maybe just to know someone is listening. When you're 22 (my age actually) the world seems like it's all right there, just outside your reach. Really, it's not, it's actually further. You won't really come into your own until 26 or so, possibly even later. And with the average male living to mid 70s if not beyond, you've still got plenty of time to savor what you're gonna get.

Appearance is everything, you can reinvent yourself at any time. If you want the latest fashions, grab an Abercrombie and Fitch catalog and hit WalMart or your local 2nd hand clothing store for styles that are a close match.

Act more confident, people who know you will know you are faking it... but bing AS, how many people really know you? Life is a stage.. you can be an actor or in the audience. Those in the audience do not get much attention.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLkIB5l-OlM[/youtube]

You can't possibly have wasted your life - you're only 22, you haven't officially started your life yet. You can always take another crack at college if you want, but college is not for everyone and there's no shame in taking a different path. You need to be making decisions, not pronouncements about how impossible things are - that kind of talk is not only not productive, it often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. There's something you're good at, or interested in - somewhere you belong - you've just got to find it, or at least be open to letting it find you.


Again, 22 is not retirement age - the girls thing will work itself out in time. Being a late bloomer (and you're not that late) doesn't make you a eunuch (oh, and be prepared, when it does happen - the first time is always embarrassingly bad - but if you're dedicated, the learning curve is short).

And if looking at porn is making you feel like a scumbag - dUuUude - you need better porn.

> If I could be me myself right now and just start college I think I could be about 80% percent better about everything.

Lots of free online education:

http://lifehacker.com/software/educatio ... 201979.php

And there's much more. You can get started any time, since you seem to have computer access.

Okay - first, you sound depressed....feeling so overwhelmed (the whole "mountain of built-up hurdles" that feel a million miles away) and the self-loathing - you need to talk to your doctor ASAP. Typically I'd say get a therapist, but on minimum wage, therapy can be very difficult to afford. However, even without the "luxury" of therapy, you can still have access to anti-depressants. That medication will help you break the paralysis of being overwhelmed and the extremely detrimental side effects of self-hating. With that handled, you'll be able to take the steps you need to take to re-make your life.

The title of your post actually drew me in, because I thought to myself, "Well, why don't you just start your life over?" You can do that today. There's nothing that's set in stone - you have free will, you're not in jail, you have some money....all that gives you the opportunity and ability to make choices. That's really all it takes to start your life over.

If you want to blow out of the town you're in but you're too broke to do it, why not get a second job? Times are hard now, but there are minimum wage opportunities to be had....work a swing shift or an overnight shift. If you banked all that money, how long would it take you to put together moving expenses? Six months or a year? Or look into federal and state aid for students, and go back to school at night (since you're living in a college town, that should be easy to do). There really isn't a lack of options for you - it just seems that way because you're depressed. So take care of the depression, and you'll be able to take care of the rest. Good luck.

I agree with everyone above -- 22 is very young. You have plenty of life ahead of you. You are probably just depressed -- I remember feeling like that at an even younger age when things weren't going as planned, and yeah, it hurts, but it does get a lot better.

RE: getting out of your rut -- Any chance you can move back in with the parents or get them to spring for school again? It's pretty tough to go to school and work at the same time, and living on your own is a big source of expenses.

I have complete solidarity with you my brother.

I am a 25-year-old virgin with Asperger's Syndrome.

There are alot of reasons why: self-conciousness, insecurity and being 'random'.

I'm not going to preach about staying positive, I'll just say that people out there are in way, way worse situations.

If your happy inside your own head, then stay there - I'll bet it's a more rewarding place that the 'real world'.

Be safe man.

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