Nothing in common with anyone.

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therange
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14 Nov 2009, 7:01 pm

I don't drink. I don't judge people who do, but those who frequent bars or get drunk often or party, I have no room for in my life.

Even though I have an interest in women and sex, it's more about finding the right one than it is about the broad scope of women (other than the media brainwashing I've mentioned in other threads.) Falling in love probably means as much to me as it does to women. Just the idea of meeting the right one gives me shivers down my spine.

I don't have "tool" interests...meaning I don't listen to top 40. In fact, I probably couldn't even name 10 songs that were on the radio the past 5 years. I left a store when some Miley Cyrus song about partying in the USA came on the radio. It literally, no exaggeration, hurt my ears to hear such horrible music, and felt relieved going into a department store and hearing some woman's beautiful voice singing over predictable chord changes. My favorite song at the moment is "If you don't know me by now" by Simply Red. I'm in a band full of 30-50 somethings and playing classic rock music, and I'm 26. They find it amazing that I listen to the music I do.

Besides the music, I watch 90s TV shows (other than 24.) I don't like sports that much. I started following the Patriots the year Bledsoe got injured and Brady replaced him, and can safely say, when Brady retires I will probably never watch another patriots or NFL game.

I'm not a man's man in any way. I'm probably more like Niles, except not physically weak.

In other words, I don't have things in common with many people, namely women my own age. I don't need a woman, or even a friend of any gender, to watch the same shows I watch or listen to the same music I do and have 90 or 100 percent in common, but I want to find someone who likes even 25 percent of the things I like and has similar values (I accept the fact that most people are followers and drink to an extent, but the not partying or getting drunk thing is a big thing for me.)

So do I have to bite the bullet and just find a "better than most" woman that I'm still not on the same page with, or are there actually reasonably attractive women with my type of personality out there? Also, I'm open to more outgoing women, just not attention freaks or divas.



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14 Nov 2009, 8:30 pm

I have friends I have nothing in common with but a shared history. That's a comfort of it's own. My friend B and I met the summer before 1st grade. We're not good about keeping up but I know if I see her we can pick up where we left off. Do you have anybody that you've known your whole life besides family? I used to wonder about a group of people I used to work with-I wondered why it was so easy for them to be together as a group. Then I found out they all went to high school together. It just takes time. Maybe you could meet people through a shared common interest.


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therange
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14 Nov 2009, 8:43 pm

Like I said (and may have edited while you were already responding) if the woman even has 25 percent of my interests/values, that would be enough. A woman that has even heard of the music I listen to and doesn't mind it even though it isn't her favorite, or shows interest in my band (would even help if she had a beautiful singing voice, as I could play piano and she could sing along, but that in no way is a requirement.) A woman that drinks when she goes out to eat but doesn't attend house parties or go to the bar every week. I'm willing to compromise and not looking for a female version of myself. In fact, I find it refreshing when the woman can teach me new things or show me her interests.

Physical attraction and the woman being "not a bad person" can make up for a lot at the beginning, but after weeks/a month/two months you start to fall apart and realize that there isn't enough to keep going. I assume that's why some people just date for the honeymoon phase and find another person to have the honeymoon phase with when the other ends.



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14 Nov 2009, 8:52 pm

therange wrote:

Physical attraction and the woman being "not a bad person" can make up for a lot at the beginning, but after weeks/a month/two months you start to fall apart and realize that there isn't enough to keep going. I assume that's why some people just date for the honeymoon phase and find another person to have the honeymoon phase with when the other ends.


That happens a lot- This may be an unpopular opinion but when divorce was less common, people were expected to ride out those periods of boredom and often would have a relationship on a deeper level after- wards. But are you wondering how to meet people? Or are you just thinking out loud about what you're looking for? Maybe I'm missing something. I'm kind of blechh today.


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therange
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14 Nov 2009, 9:11 pm

I'm wondering, hypothetically, if there's someone out there that I would mesh with long-term. I don't think I'm a particularly weird person. I just think I'm anti-establishment, and wondering if there are decent looking women out there, that might be NT and outgoing but not be a complete sell-out.



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14 Nov 2009, 9:13 pm

I think the only way to find out is to go out there.


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14 Nov 2009, 9:38 pm

Have you tried older women?



therange
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14 Nov 2009, 10:09 pm

Apep wrote:
Have you tried older women?


Where do I find them other than bars or dating sites? I mean, they're out there obviously, but you don't know if they're married or not.



OneLuke
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16 Nov 2009, 8:47 am

therange wrote:
I don't drink. I don't judge people who do, but those who frequent bars or get drunk often or party, I have no room for in my life.


Well you definitely aren't alone in that belief.



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16 Nov 2009, 10:11 am

You sound very much like me. I'll admit I'm a big sports fan though and I live in Mass. so I've watched the Patriots since their Super Bowl year where they lost to the Packers. My music tastes are also very different from the majority. I listen to music that would be probably considered uncool. I like older bands like Aerosmith and Kansas. I listen to movie soundtracks on my ipod which most people would consider odd. I even have video games songs on it too. I hate today's music as well and never listen to the radio. Anyways, I don't fit into the society of today in my honest opinion. I'm a very quiet, reserved, and shy person who has no interest in what the majority likes today. I don't drink, I don't smoke and the fact is, most girls I know do just that and I for one have no interest in that type of activity. I'm a very innocent person who would rather watch TV, go to a baseball game or play video games then to do the extreme things people seem to be into these days like going to night clubs(which would make me sick), bars, parties and other "adult" activities. If people do those things that's fine, I'm in no position to judge people but I for one have no interest in those things and in fact, I have a very strong disliking for those types of activities. I can't help who I am, for being a very introverted person. So really in retrospect, I'm at a disadvantage because most girls don't want a guy like me who is boring, a goody-goody as I'm sure I would be known as. They want guys who are funny, confident, and like to do those big social activities I already mentioned. They want guys who are popular too and have high social status. I obviously do not. So all in all, I feel that I have a big possibility of living a life of solitude. I have never been able to find just friends alone who have my interests and obviously a female one would be ten times harder to find.



b9
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16 Nov 2009, 10:14 am

the only thing i have in common with people is the fact that i have nothing in common with them and they also have nothing in common with me.



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16 Nov 2009, 10:18 am

This thread is reminding me of the comeback I've seen some of the women posters on this site use a few times: "Why don't you go talk to the shy girl in the corner then?"

The whole "girls like guys who hang out in bars" and related notions are a bit silly. If you only look to meet women in bars, you're going to mostly find women who are into guys who are good at the bar scene, and you're going to entirely miss the enormous number of women who don't like that kind of guy. And yes, there's an enormous number of such women at college age.



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16 Nov 2009, 12:20 pm

b9 wrote:
the only thing i have in common with people is the fact that i have nothing in common with them and they also have nothing in common with me.

Amen to that brother.


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