jman wrote:
Why do you keep wastiing your time and money on these stupid dating books? They don't usually cause no one woman is the same, they're each an indivudual with their own needs and desires. Those books treat women as if their all the same. It's kind of sexist if you think about it.
Also instead of using buddhism to be happy, but why don;t try a good dose of cynicism. You need to come to the realization that majority of the population (aspies included) are to some degree cuniving, selfish, shallow, superficial a**holes. Once you come to this realization you'll be alot happier because you'll know that you are alot better off.
But don't let this cynicism totally shut down the possibility of a relationship. You'll meet the right person at the right time. Don't try to force the issue.
I already know this man, especially when I have joined my new office job with NT. I love these NT and would not change any of them. I wish that they had more logical mind with a good understanding of the laws of nature and they can practice the Loving-Kindness Meditation (Metta Bhavana) to get rid of that anger.
Your answer for loneliness is created works only for people who do not love themselves, or see themselves in low regards compared to others.
I have watched enough daytime TV, this Easter to realise that most people with issues are their worst enemy. So it is natural to assume the need to work on that before any progress is possible. But I am not most people and neither are most people with Aspersers Syndrome.
My Loneliness is just plain raw. Words just can’t fix it even if I could think about them words whenever I am lonely (using mantra helps). Would you use words to kill a head ach, a belly ach, how about a tooth ach?
To understand loneliness you need to know why it is. It is mother nature’s way of punishing a person for not finding someone and having offspring. Nature also uses reword to such as love. But because I would ignore the want of love to do hubbies instead, nature resorts to punishment instead. And so for it has worked, I had a few girlfriends in past, I cannot honestly say that I really loved them but I certainly would not have dated them if I didn’t need anyone in order not to be lonely.
Loneliness is a complex beast it knows when you are getting out of you duties of finding a mate. So anything you do that might detract from these duties will be severely punished. So words, exercise and hobbies do very little to help one to overcome loneliness. Only words, exercise and hobbies that give you a greater hope of finding someone bring you more happiness.
Meditation might be the exception because other time it will reprogram the brain not to be so dependent on external environments. But if all of human kind meditated, eventually loneliness would become immune to this also, same goes modern anti-depressants, which is a very recent thing in evolution of human kid.
As an Aspie I know that Science is the greatest path to understanding and fixing a problem. And since dating and evolution are closely linked then it goes to reason that you should learn more about The Theory Of Evolution so you can come up with your own answer or decide for yourself if a dating tip is compatible with these theories. Hence I use logic not faith to decide of a dating tip will work or not.
16 Apr 2006, 11:32 am
