everything was fine until I met him!! !!

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Hi there,
I have a real big problem. I recently met this guy who I hit it of with like I have never hit it of with anyone before. When I went to go, he behaved really strange, he was really nervous when we were talking and was suggesting reasons why I should go back in again to see him, anyway, wnen I said goodbye he seemed almost anoyed with me that I was going and looked away. For weeks i couldnt work it out. Then I realised what it was, he was annoyed that I was going because he liked me and he also had aspergers, as bad as me I think! I have seen him a few times since and he gets extremely nervous around me and fidgety but I think he feels the same about me. I want to talk to him so much about it, I have never felt like this about anyone before but we are both married. He did hint that his marriage wasnt going well and I met my partner through a dating agency, we have very little in common to be honest.but Its been alright, now I just cant move on, its driving me crazy, I just can't forget about him, what should I do?

You need to seriously evaluate whether your marrige is worth it tbh.

I'm with HB on this one, you have to decide what you think about your marriage before you act on this.

I quite unexpectedly "hit it off" with a very attractive co-worker several years ago (we were both married) - it was very unusual for me to be so strongly attracted to someone.

Being committed to my marriage, as soon as I realized what was happening I cut it off. I avoided her as much as possible and never fell into the trap that it was "OK to have a cup of coffee" with her as long as I didn't "act" on it.

You can't control your feelings, but you can certainly control whether or not you "feed" them, and without feeding they will wither away as quickly as they came.

I can only rehash the advice the two people before me gave. If your marriage is important, it's best to avoid fostering any further emotion. Still, we can't make this decision for you. Married people do have crushes, I'm sure of it. It's just a matter how of important their marriage is to them.

This is why you should be aware of how important your marriage is to you personally.

I thought I was happy to be honest, and now I feel completely different.
We never have had a lot in common really, we dont have a sex life at all ,and we are both in our own little worlds.
I think we needed to have much more in common and now the cracks are showing as a result, really.
I suppose when you are like me, you are just glad to find someone who wants you, but I don't think its enough and now ive met someone I seem to have an awful lot in common with I am painfully aware of it. I don't think I could ever leave him, I would be scared he might do something stupid, he is very insular and just plds along in life really.

Never mind this guy, you sound like you have absolutely no respect for your partner. Do him a favour and end things so he can go find a woman who does.

Lene, I hear you but still.

Definitely don't end things, this is a wake up call to try and work on things with your partner. I mean you owe it to him to give him a chance at the very least. You're not dating, you're married and this isn't highschool.

This could break his heart, you don't even know if he thinks things are going badly. You're saying how you feel and going off of that. You need to leave this other guy alone, I hate to tell you but anyone who does have an affair outside of their marriage is not prince/princess charming. Because they will do the same to you.

You don't even know why this guys marriage is going bad in the first place, it might be entirely his fault. You need to keep problems with your husband as a separate and primary issue and work on that first.

OP, commitment is not an emotion - it's a decision. You made a commitment to your husband when you married him. I guess I find it a little surprising that you're so willing to consider ending your marriage for a guy you've had one conversation with.

If you want to be the kind of person who honors her commitments, I suggest you put some time into trying to fix whatever's wrong in your marriage - preferably with a good marriage counselor. I'm not suggesting you should stay in an unhappy marriage for the rest of your life, but don't you owe it to your husband to tell him what's wrong, and give him the opportunity to repair it? If you were in your husband's position, wouldn't you expect that much from him?

Whether you choose counseling or divorce, cheating is an extraordinarily bad option....and karma is a b!tch. Good luck.