I always find this the most difficult - the element of not knowing what the other person wants.
I guess there's a lot of ways of approaching it, but if it was me, I'd just try and put that question to the back of my mind for now. I'd try and let myself feel confident and flattered that she'd asked to come with me, and see that as a success in itself. Then I'd take a deep breath, go on the trip with her, and just see what happens. I know the element of unpredictability is really hard to cope with, but it's just part of the process. If you're not expecting anything to happen with her, the best that can happen is that you get a nice surprise if you find out she's interested in you, and the worse that can happen is you have a good time and make a new friend. Trying to find out from her before the trip what she wants might make things awkward, even if she is interested.
One thing you could do when you're on the trip, if you do feel it's going well, is sort of casually mention that your friends all thought you were both going on a date, in a kind of jokey way. Then maybe you could smile and say something like "actually, I'd kind of like it if we were on a date". It will be totally fine to be nervous when you say it. If she likes you, she'll think it's sweet. You have to be prepared that she might say no, but then at least you were brave enough to ask.
If she likes you, then all you have to do is be yourself. You can tell her you find these kind of situations really nerve-wracking. If she's really worth knowing, then she'll like it that you open up to her.
And if it doesn't work out, don't take it bad and give up. There'll be other chances, if you keep on learning how to take them.
Ha, I'm no "adonis", I've screwed this kind of stuff up so many times, but every now and then it's been sweet, for a while at least.
20 Nov 2009, 6:59 am
