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jreyn0lds
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11 Aug 2013, 6:11 pm

Hi,

I'm 18 and from the Southern Part of England.

A few nights ago I met this girl online and we have been skyping every night since. She said she wants to meet me and wants to go out. Now she is really lovely and really sweet but I have some paranoid-like issues.

1) She lives a 2 and a half hour train ride that costs £50 ($80) that she said she'd pay half for
2) I get anxious about meeting people any way
3) I have been ditched and messed about before so I have that fear
4) I have the fear that she could be putting this on for the sheer pleasure of to see me depressed. Yes, I have been phished before.
5) She is too good to be true, for me.
6) She said she'd speak to me tonight but she never did.
7) I'm completely confused and depressed and when that happens I end up spamming texts like no tomorrow; I don't mean to, it's just a reaction; for some reason I believe that sending more will get a reply faster.
8) Now I just feel as If I've annoyed her.



jreyn0lds
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11 Aug 2013, 6:14 pm

that's meant to be an 8: sorry.



Enda
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11 Aug 2013, 7:00 pm

Well first things first you need to reestablish contact with her to see what the story is currently.

but i would suggest despite your fears and history to go for it if at all possible the only things you really regret in life are the things you didn't do not the things you did.

if you don't go to meet her you'll regret it your entire life if you do and it blows up in your face you'll only regret it for a month.

but naturally if you do go be careful.



jrjones9933
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11 Aug 2013, 7:53 pm

Google online dating safety, and follow the instructions.

Never blow up peoples' phones with texts. Imagine how you would feel if someone whom you had just met did that to you.



benh72
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11 Aug 2013, 8:26 pm

Just a suggestion, why don't you ask if she's willing to meet you halfway, or come to your town?
It's 2013, not 1950, so girls don't expect to have the boy meet them, talk to their folks and get the third degree from the parents before going on a date.
Never carry through with meeting up if you have agreed to contact again first and the contact hasn't happened.
Make sure if you are meeting her, that you have a mobile phone, and that she has one, and that you each have each other's numbers, so if anything goes wrong you can contact each other, otherwise you'll feel scared that you'll be abandoned, or victim of a no show.
Also make sure she's cool with you calling as you leave the house to go meet her, that way you know she's still interested and likely to meet you at the other end.
BTW - take a book with you, even if you aren't reading one, buy one, if you have to catch a train for hours to meet, you need something else to think about so you're not just obsessing and worrying about how it's going to turn out, reading will relax you and give you something else to think about.



Stargazer43
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11 Aug 2013, 9:01 pm

The only part that seems concerning to me is that she lives 2.5hrs away, and is willing to travel that far and pay a pretty good sum to do it. That's a 5hr round trip after all, so basically she'd be sacrificing an entire day to meet you. That fact alone makes me question whether it's some sort of scam or something, as that is significantly beyond what most people would be willing to do in that situation. But if you do meet her, just take all the necessary precautions, meet in a public place and don't reveal any personally identifiable information, all the usual stuff.

BTW: with texts, a good rule of thumb is never send more than 1 or 2 for every one that you receive from her.



Last edited by Stargazer43 on 11 Aug 2013, 9:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

jreyn0lds
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11 Aug 2013, 9:01 pm

Hmmm some good ideas. I'll try and see if she wants to meet halfway :)



jreyn0lds
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11 Aug 2013, 9:11 pm

Although, she has said she wanted to meet after we've skyped for a while (meet at xmas) as I am moving even further away (another 3 hrs) for University (hopefully) - She doesn't seem the sort to scam, though - although, stranger things have happened. IDK - I just had bad experiences in the past. I know about staying safe, I'm extremely well...martial art...ed and self defense is brilliant so there shouldn't be any violent problems; the only problem, it seems, is the quantity of money I have to pay out. But for some reason, I really like her. She is beautiful and I know she is real as I have had video chats with her. Just not sure what to do, really.



jreyn0lds
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12 Aug 2013, 5:32 pm

she's done it again, she said she'd talk to me tonight and never did.