What am i doing wrong?

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To start it off, i am a senior in high school. I just turned 18 and i have never had a girlfriend before, but i didnt really start to try and look for one till about a year ago. I am not the hottest guy around but im certainly above average looking. I am 6'2" and weigh 163 pounds or so so im not that big. I have this huge desire to get a girlfriend. I have friends and all of them have one or have had one in the past. I also have friends that are girls.

I drive a 1997 Toyota Tacoma single cab. Will that attract girls for having a truck?

I deliver pizzas for papa johns. Does having a job attract more girls?

Im kinda scared to talk to girls at school, but will getting girls get easier at community college or university?

Hello trojan51, I don't think that job will specialy attract more girls to you, if any, but it will at least allow you to meet lots of people out of school and then, broaden your possibilities to meet different types of girls.

I don't know if you're necessarily doing anything wrong because I don't know you well enough, but there's nothing wrong with what you're saying in your post. That said I can't guarantee anything for you, because I fear that you would become a bit complacent with the idea that you would find someone in college like I did. I've been "single and looking" for about eight years so naturally I don't think one year is a very long time, especially in high school where everyone has already known you for years.

In college you might want to expand your social circles mostly beyond your classmates if you want to find someone, especially if the majority of your classmates are men.

This is what you're doing wrong. Try not to think of girls you meet as 'potential girlfriends'; they can smell desperation a mile off.

Once you start thinking of them as just people, it will be a lot easier to chat to them, but as long as you have the 'girlfriend' mentality, then no matter where you go, it will always be hard to meet someone.

I keep hearing that all the time. Yes, it makes sense. Yes, I try to follow that as best I can. But if I stop thinking of women as potential girlfriends, I will get to the point where I will pretty much never be able to consider them a potential girlfriend, even if there's an attraction there...

Chasing girls in college gets harder in tougher in some ways. At a community college, girls tend to be immature at community colleges, but at normal colleges, they are more mature than in high school. you learn more and have a better idea of what to do. Girls think more often about marriage and there are many more girls then guys. The problem is that people are busier.

No, the problem is that there are none of them...

It might depend on the size of your school. My school has 44,000 students. I went to a branch campus which had 1,500. Which one do you think had all the girls?

Way easier. I have no idea what Toad is talking about with the no girls thing. When I went to college I had a girlfriend from high school, but after we broke up it took me all of 5 months to meet my next girlfriend, who I was with for 4 years and was looks-wise out of my league by a wide margin. She was the third or fourth girl I hooked up with in that span. And I'm extremely shy about approaching girls, and pretty middle-of-the-road looks wise.

Maybe it's different at different schools, but being that you are from Seattle this is especially pertinent because I went to U Dub there. Go there, drink beer, loosen up, keep your eyes peeled. If you do that I would be very surprised if you couldn't find yourself a girl. As I'm sure you're aware, it's a great school academically too, so you win on both fronts.

It's also because of the fact that I go to an engineering university. I wanted a degree I could get a job with out of undergrad, so I went with the Information Technology track. I could have been a music major and have the 4:1 gender ratio inverted, but I chose IT because I can get some decent money with a bachelor's...

(PS: that also answers amazon's comment...)

Yes it does.

The program I'm in now is the total opposite. There are 20 people in my class and out of the 20 there are 2 dudes including myself

But what about the nice, shiny toyota tacoma that i have. shoudnt that help a bit?

You're thinking in black and white, Toad. You're thinking that either you have to look at all women as potential girlfriends, or none at all. Look at some women as potential girlfriends and some women as not. If you are unable to have a more balanced approach towards other people, then you aren't ready yet for a romantic relationship (which I could describe as a very delicate and complicated balancing act), and you need to develop social skills more.


What helps is that you have your own car. What helps is that you have a job. What helps is that you are (or would be) strong enough to be self-supporting and hard-working. People who have their acts together in life are highly attractive. But I would not get too hung up on "shiny" specific brands of cars if I were you.

What program are you in?

If you're really keen, have you considered classes/clubs for female dominated stuff like shorthand, knitting, etc? The male to female ratio will be more favourable then. But make sure you really give it a go, whatever you pick, so at least you come out with a new skill, and the females will sense a fake quite easily, if you're not genuinely keen.

I will say that different clubs have different gender ratios. College republicans at my school is mostly guys. Students for life is about even. If I joined THON, I would be surrounded by girls.