From "Boy Friend" to "Boyfriend", should

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Hes my best friend, and although I happy with just being friends, I'm starting to feel that I'm begining to LIKE like him, as more than a friend. We are currently both single, but if we become Boyfriend/Girlfriend, would it jeprodize our friendship? And if I do decide to become his girlfriend, how would I do that?

It depends on how mature you are about the relationship and how well you as a couple can handle a breakup. I just broke up with my girlfriend last night, and we're still friends...

According to one of my colleagues who started dating his best friend, yes, you will lose the original friendship.

QFT. It's up to how mature and logical you can be about it. I think it's about being able to recognize quickly if things are going sour and being open and honest about it with each other. Ignoring the problems so that they go on for too long and destroy any kind of relationship is where you cross over into that zone where you cant return to friendship.
I dont think trying out a relationship is bad, but once you do, it's obviously going to go down two paths, good or bad, and if it starts going down bad, it can easily vear off into the path of no return =P. Just keep an eye out and be open with eachother (and try not to over analyze either, that I think is also another fine line, keeping an eye out for signs and over analyzing).

I do say go for it. Think about it, you dont want to ruin your friendship, meaning you want to stay friends with him as long as possible, the thought of keeping someones company for a lifetime is the roots of a good relationship.

I do agree that it depends on maturity. Since you two have been friends, you will probably have a healthy relationship, especially if you get married.

My boyfriend and I used to be friends. I can't imagine just going back to that way though, and neither can he; it would be too hard to become emotionally separate. That said, we won't know for sure unless it happens... *touch wood*

Honestly, don't go into a relationship thinking about how you're going to handle the break up; I've made that mistake before.

Basically, whether you can remain friends at the end will be due to 20% what you do and say, 20% what they do and say, and 60% chance/fate/weather/whatever... You can't go by other peoples' experience either.

There is a chance you could remain friends, there is also a chance you won't and even if you make a rule at the start that you will be friends afterwards, once emotions become involved, one or both of you may not be able to stick to that plan. And unfortunately, that will be that.

My advice would be to give it a go if you really like him in that way, but remember before you do so that you are leaving yourself open to the possibility of losing him as a friend if it goes belly-up.

If you do go ahead though, then just enjoy things whilst they last and take it from there; no use worrying about the aftermath

Imho it also depends on the depth of your friendship.

I have never in my life had a real BF/GF relationship, but I've had extremely deep emotional relationships with several girls.

The way I see it, actively seeking to to change a relationship from friendship to partnership with the full package of percs attached to it is always a risk to end whatever you had with the person.

As aspies we aren't really equipped to understand or interpret if the other party is in any way interested in you that way, so it makes it even more dangerous.

But knowing how your friendship will end up if you do succeed in creating a partnership with your friend and subsequently break up anyway is just as much guesswork for NT's as us.

I've seen relationships end between people, where they had become more like friends for each other with less interest in sex then partners, ending up with these people having an even better friendship then before they got together after breakinig up as a couple.

I've seen relationships end between 2 people who seemed inseparable for years before becoming involved and see these relationships end so volatile and badly it was obvious the 2 would never speak again.

So yes, there is always the chance of loosing what you had, but there is also the chance of gaining even more.

Ok, so, How do I change this from frendship to relationship? And what if he isnt ready for the change? What do I do? I need some ideas!

broach the topic with him. see how that goes first. If you are for the idea of a relationship then usually one asks the other to be their boyfriend/girlfriend. I don't think it matters who does the asking in this day and age if you both feel the saem.

Maybe he might feel the same way too, have you told him about how you kinda feel about him?
If he feels the same way too, then thats already good... but incase it does go wrong, you could always be back to being friends (thats if he also wants to?)

Good luck for the both of you

Schrödinger's cat ?

Ummmmm....

A hypothetical cat that is dead and alive at the same time?

Actually my friend and I are both fully alive humans.

You need to trust the chemistry on this. I don't mean jump into it because your feeling something right now, I mean test the waters to see if there are sparks continuing to jump back and forth. If that lasts and stays persistent you guys may have something.

That said though will you be able to go back to just being friends? Odds are you won't. If you guys both have a tight nit group of mutual friends you should be fine but if you have each other and that's it it will be very difficult to shake the feeling off. You can do it regardless but it takes a lot of circumstantial exposure to one another to re-normalize things.

I think that is in reference to the idea of a relationship - until you open that box, you cannot measure the state of what it would be. I'm fortunate, in that I recently got married to my best friend of the past ten years. We fought the same fears of losing the friendship... but nothing in this world is guaranteed. There is no way to insure that you'll be friends in two months, two years, or two decades. Risk is inherent. So if it what you want, pursue it and take the chance... otherwise, you're ensuring the result: not knowing. As for taking that step, you might just see if he'd like to go on a date. Sometimes, simple is the best approach.


M.

By deleting the space between 'Boy' and 'Friend'.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Do it.

I think that the difference and the risk are both less than most people would believe.

Think about it: if there's desire between the two of you to be "more" than friends, you're rather likely to lose the friendship if one of you gets into a relationship with somebody else. There would be too many jealousy issues. It's one thing to be in a relationship and have a best friend who is of your gender, or of the opposite gender who is gay.. but if there's desire between you and your best friend, there are a million ways that romantic relationships with other people would destroy what you have.
Also, I think the whole thing about there being a huge difference between relationship love and friendship love is kinda bull. It seems to me that what most people consider relationship-type love is something that's really closer to infatuation. It's all the fireworks and sparks and whatnot that make a great beginning, but will either turn into something calmer and more lasting, or burn you.
I think that if you find somebody of the opposite sex that you consider your best friend, they may just be the person you're meant to be with.

But, um... you can't unilaterally decide to go from being friends to boyfriend/girlfriend.. he has to be in on the decision too.
If he's your best friend, can you talk to him about it?