How to save money while dating

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So, I'm kind of low on funds right now, and it occurs to me that I've spent way more on gas and eating out since I've had a gf, who also lives 40 minutes away, doesn't drive and gets upset if we don't spend enough time together in a given week. I'm wondering if there are ways I can save money as every day out with my gf costs me something, and it normally isn't cheap.

Should I let her know that I can't afford to go out every other day and should scale back our weekly hangouts? Or are there other options? I mean, grocery store pot pies are a great alternative but even those add up after a while. I think I ought to at least be honest. Does anyone have any advice? Thanks in advance.

hmm, is it possible she could come to your house or you go to her house or has the relationship not progressed far enough for that? I mean if she really likes you I don't see why she'd have a problem getting together without going out and doing something pricey.

Does she pay her half while you're out; at least for the meals?

Can she take public transportation or uber?

That's unfortunately a bit of a problem as we have an agreement with her parents that we can't be alone together at either her house or mine. She doesn't cook and for her to come to my house I have to come and go get her anyways, so an evening in is not likely in the cards unless someone else is at her house.Generally, yes, although I do like to treat her sometimes. Still, even if she pays her own way it still adds up.

This relationship is doomed, dude.

Here's how it's gonna go down--

You're gonna scale it back to seeing each other every other week since you're low on cash. She's gonna get bored. Some other guy is gonna pay attention to her, or she's gonna go on a vacation for some little summer fling. Either way, you're toast.

You have an "agreement" with her parents? How old are you two?

My children are still quite young, but I've already explained this. No dating until after college. Just don't do it. Because if you do, we're cutting off any/all support. You are in school to work and study, NOT cultivate your social life. There's plenty time for that. We WILL approve of a chaperoned courtship, however, but that is to be the very least of your priorities. Beyond that, you are a free man and woman, and we can't stop you from doing whatever. All we ask is that you let us get to know the poor unfortunate soul and the other set of parents before we split you up.

But yeah, I mean, if you're both over, say, 25, I don't understand what the big deal is. You should be able to prepare meals at your place.

We're both over 25, yeah. Her dad insisted we respect his terms though. I have been, but it has caused a little friction between me and my gf from time to time. I mean, we've been together almost 2 years now and still can't be alone in a house together. My gf is ok with that arrangement, but I'm not too thrilled about it. I don't intend to scale back for too long, just until I get back on my feet, so to speak. But yeah, she has been demanding a lot of my time and attention as of late. I do care for her, I just feel that I'm in a bit of a bind.

It would be a test for her, if she fickles at the first hard time then she's not worth it.

*All* men, yes *all* men in LTs, should test their gfs before even thinking of marrying (cutting off the money/meal/gifts stream) like this at some point, claiming to be low on funds or something even if it's not really true.

It's the only way to see whether she will stick of not; and the only way to make sure she's not an undercover gold digger. It is the ultimate love test on the woman you're dating.

I think you're a total doormat. You don't have to spend money everytime just to hang out with her... I would never ever do that atleast..

Well weird what kind of an agreement is that, are you guys like underage?

But no seriously kind of weird for grown person to have their parents dictate they cannot spend time alone with their S.O. Why are they afraid you guys might actually have a lasting relationship? IDK honestly its sounding like its just not going to work...I mean if shes in an agreement with them she can't be alone with her boyfriend and you're in the position you have to pay more than you have to ever spend time with her then maybe its just not meant to be.

If you really want to make it work you will have to talk to her about it and see if she is willing to gain more control over her life instead of letting her parents dictate it..and also let her know you cannot afford a pricey date every time you guys see each other so you and her will have to find less expensive options. If she is not willing to accept cheaper dates or move away from letting her parents control everything then may be best to move on. I mean yeah it is sick and wrong for them to control her that way....but what are you going to do about it if she refuses to have any resistance to it and just goes along with it?

Lol its like you assume everyone has the ability to become someone a gold-digger would pursue...its not that easy to get rich at least not here.

Lol how's she going to go on vacation when her parents wont even let her be alone with her boyfriend and she goes along with it? This girl is severely sheltered and unless the O.P can convince her to live a little and not obey her parents every whim and do what she wants for a change...than it is doomed like you say.

I mean damn the O.P is 29 so I assume his girlfriend is at least in her 20's...

In my opinion, he's not the doormat. She is. She needs to put her foot down and tell her parents to butt out of her 2 year relationship if she wants it to eventually become a 3 year relationship. OP cares for her, so he agrees to these terms. What does she do?

As for cheap dates, that's going to be hard when home cooking is off the table, and she lives 40 mintes away (I presume by car?). Nature walks? Or is that too much like being alone together (the horror.)?.

There are too many posts to quote, so I'll just respond indirectly. I can start by saying that my gf is 27. She does have some kind of disorder that hasn't been disclosed to me, but I have my own disorder too, so that's not a deal breaker. She's 40 minutes away by car. Nature walks wouldn't last very long as she gets tired and complains about her ankle bothering her. She twisted it well over a year ago, and still claims to have problems with it from time to time, and wears gauze around it on occasion.

I am allowed to be alone with my gf as long as it's outside of the house. I once tried taking her over to my house a year or so ago and told her not to tell her parents, but...she did. Apparently she can't keep a secret from them, so I have no choice but to legitimately obey her parents' terms. I have thus far, but I am a tad frustrated as I don't really like feeling like we're being treated like children. I can be a big kid in some respects, but I'm an adult where it counts and I'd much rather my gf and I be the judge, jury and executioner of our own relationship. I mean, I'm a university graduate with a BA starting a career and am indeed going to be 30 next year.

I can't help but feel you're being treated rather unfairly. You're not some random guy she met a week ago, you're her bf of two years. How has neither she nor her parents told you the nature of her disorder? How are you to accomodate her needs if you don't know, and how can you know what to expect? Both she and her parents are acting like you shouldn't be part of her life. I'm no expert, by any means, but unless some changes are made, I don't see this working out very well.

Is there a religious angle to this, or is it "just" overprotectiveness?

I agree, if my parents had tried pulling that crap on me....i'd have just been gone, whether I ended up worse off or not. Luckily both my parents seem to like my boyfriend so no crap on their end, but if there had been I don't doubt I would have chosen my boyfriend over them if they had made me make that choice.