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Steve_Cory
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09 Feb 2006, 5:31 pm

I had this thought a few days ago and only today have I gotten around to coming back to WrongPlanet.net and posting it here in the forums. Anyway. Here it goes:

What if it is actually beneficial in these times to be single? You can work alone, and you don't have to have a family to support. That means the money that would normally go to a wife and kids would go directly to you for savings or personal use. The world is also very over-populated, and things have been getting wild. So you have to ask yourself:

1) Is it any longer moral to even bring children into this chaotic world?

2) Would I want to save a LOT more money by staying single, the way I am?

3) Romance takes up a lot of time in life. Am I willing to go through all the cliche steps and small-talk, or would it be best to just avoid everything having to do with romance except for observing it from Television?

I want to hear everyone's thoughts on this matter.



hale_bopp
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09 Feb 2006, 6:15 pm

I totally agree.



Fiz
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09 Feb 2006, 6:50 pm

Unless you find someone that special who you are willing to get all romantic for and stuff, I totally agree. This is why I never actively look for a partner, all the ones I have met in the past have been completely by chance. Ok, sometimes I find myself thinking that I would like to be with someone, but hey. It would be very unrealistic for me to do so at the moment as my life is too chaotic right now and I daren't wish myself on anyone. When Im more settled, if someone comes along then cool. If not then thats also cool.



Vae
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09 Feb 2006, 7:04 pm

Fiz wrote:
It would be very unrealistic for me to do so at the moment as my life is too chaotic right now and I daren't wish myself on anyone. When Im more settled, if someone comes along then cool. If not then thats also cool.


Life is chaotic by definition. If you wait till you're completely settled and have no chaos in you life, you may be waiting for a very long time.



newchum
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09 Feb 2006, 9:25 pm

Here is my opinion and feelings, I have reached a point in my life regardless of what exactly I am doing at university. I will end up working in a job which will pay around $AUD70,000 a year or even more. I will have the kind of cash to buy an nice house, a nice car, nice stuff, go on holidays overseas for 4 weeks every year and so some other things I been aiming to do for many years. I would have financial security and done pretty well out of life.

However deep inside I would be still unhappy, also feeling empty and lonely, because I will not have a woman who I love, loves me sharing my life with me. While I am not certain if I want to be offically married or have children. I am learning those skills Steve Cory talked about he thinks are useless and meeting as many women as possible in my life, because I hope in the long run I will meet that special woman for me.

The NT's I talk you say relationships are hard work and worth trouble but they say it jokingly, because I know it is spritually fulfulling and great fun as well.



Sunni
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09 Feb 2006, 9:57 pm

^ Aw, that's a really sweet and balanced view 8)

However, I'm with Steve_Cory. The time has come in my life where singledom seems a very, very attractive option for the future.

Not only does being single give me all the time in the world to develop my spiritual practise, it is low-stress, low maintenance, and allows me to explore loads more possibilities in life.

I think that our modern idea of love and marriage is transitory, and not really all that practical when you look at the broken homes and divorce rates.

Instead of taking one person and projecting an idea of love onto them, and then claiming them and possessing them for the rest of my life, I think the idea of developing a wider love for people in general is pretty cool.

(in the unlikely event of being hit by a thunderbolt and meeting 'The One', I would probably go for it, admittedly)



lowfreq50
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10 Feb 2006, 9:03 pm

The level of loneliness I experience daily is nearly unbearable. You could pay me no amount of money to live my entire life in this state.



Laz
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10 Feb 2006, 10:57 pm

Yeah I think you've cleary identified that the drive to form a family is alot differnt now. Clearly with all the older and older people having children there is a drive that because we now live longer lifes we must take advantage of them to the full and not tie ourselves down with family commitments etc.

Put it this way, this september I'll be the same age my mother was pregant with me and that horrifies me 8O for 1) OMG am i seriously that old?! 2) OMG KIDS NOW?! !! NO WAY! 3) I feel a need to still travel i don't want to settle down 4) Even though im in a great realationship I feel tied down by it and i know at some point its going to become a make or break moment



Kiss_my_AS
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10 Feb 2006, 11:02 pm

I've decided for myself that I'm going to try to make the best of my life, whether I have a relationship/children or not. Currently, I'm single and it could be that it stays this way for the remainder of my life. It does not matter. But I'm not against a relationship altogether, should I and a possible partner have the desire for this. Same goes for procreation.

However, I admit that as it right now seems I'd opt for singledom as the best way for my personal development. This doesn't rule out the possibility that I might change my mind, if only for a little bit, in the future though. Maybe then I'll alter my priorities, for the sake of being as happy in life in life as possible, due to the discovery of other things that I desire. Or not.

As for people in general, people who are single by choice have my support. An intimate relationship isn't a must for those who want to have a good life, although a lot of people think so. In a good working global society there should be a place of equal value for people with an alternative lifestyle; if they're not hurting themselves and/or others of course. And as far as I know, being single does not fall under that last category.



Xenon
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10 Feb 2006, 11:31 pm

Personally, I've always found relationships to be more trouble than they are worth. But being still single at age 43 has some great advantages. Most of them being in the level of freedom and independence I have -- I can spend my income (what's left over after things like the mortgage, groceries, phone bill, etc., are paid) on whatever I want. I don't have to check with someone else if I want to do something with my spare time. Selfish? Perhaps. But so what? :lol:



Astarael
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11 Feb 2006, 7:18 am

I would want a partner, if not a partner someone who was close to me and would act as a companion who I could spend some time with. I would get lonley and feel very isolated. I don't want kids so the "getting married and having children" option doesn't apply.
If I was to have a partner, chances are that I wouldn't want to do all things on my own and save my money for myself, I may in some cases; as everyone does, but alot of the time I would also like them to come with me so it would be a joint effort for saving anyway. If I ever got to the stage of considering someone for a partner and such, then the romance would not be too hard.. once you're in a relationship you must simply keep it going instead of worrying about everything that happens as I always find myself doing when I first start a relationship.
So what you're saying is true but I'd still prefer to have a husband/partner. But without the kids bit..



Arch101
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12 Feb 2006, 12:33 am

IF (big if) you can find a partner who fits with you, life can actually be easier. If you worry about passing the Asperger gene along, then just don't have kids (or get fixed and adopt later if you simply MUST have children). There are plenty of people out there who don't want kids. 2 incomes definately make life easier and having a "built in date" makes it possible to partake of many more social and cultural activities than you might experience sulking at home.



Aspie_Chav
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13 Feb 2006, 4:14 pm

I could dilute my Aspie genes by dating a Chav or a Yardi girl, ones who is right beggin-it and who has not intellectual interest what so ether and for extra measures I could also choose the sex of the baby as a girl.

The problem is that those Chav girls will not be interested in me. Maybe I should be a licle bit badder and denounce my logical thinking.



lowfreq50
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13 Feb 2006, 4:20 pm

Aspie_Chav wrote:
I could dilute my Aspie genes by dating a Chav or a Yardi girl, ones who is right beggin-it and who has not intellectual interest what so ether and for extra measures I could also choose the sex of the baby as a girl.

The problem is that those Chav girls will not be interested in me. Maybe I should be a licle bit badder and denounce my logical thinking.


What are Chav and Yardi girls?



QuirkyCarla
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13 Feb 2006, 4:49 pm

I would love to be in a relationship, my problem is that I'm afraid. I'm extremely insecure which probably makes me every guy's worst nightmare. I also don't think I have the right social skills for a relationship. :(