Telling a guy that you love him

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Good evening everyone

I met a this guy just before I left school. When I was college I got to know him and I realised that I really love him. I started university this September and I've missed him so much. I'm back for Christmas at the moment and after spending a couple of days with him, I've decided that I want to tell him how I feel about him. I have no idea how he feels about me except that we are good friends.
I was just wondering if anyone could give me any advice as to what sort of things I could say or where I could say it.

I'd give two possible approaches. Only because I'm a guy and I would like this. Your mileage (or actually his) may vary.

1. You are good friends, so I take it that you like your time together. You could gradually go further and see if he likes it or not. I mean, you could hug often, you could offer to massage his shoulders or ask to be massaged yourself. But time is an issue here, so it could be a little constrained.

2. Tell him bluntly. I would like frank and concise speech. The place isn't important, but I'd select one with no other people around. Perhaps in a park or forest, or on shore?

Good luck! And if it doesn't work out, I hope you'll remain friends.

That's a really difficult question, because depending on how he feels, any guys reaction could be wildly different. Even if the feeling was completely mutual, I know that I'd still be stunned, startled, shocked, however you want to say it, but I'm also not your typical guy. So to be honest, the only advice I could give would be to do it very gently/easily, but that could just frustrate him to no end if he's the wrong type of guy.

So, go with your gut feeling and what you know of him. Or, ask him how he would like to know that a girl loves him. And then, use his answer to tell him!

I once asked around when I was feeling strongly attracted to this guy, and the response that worked best for me, was not to say anything so drastic, but rather let him know that I enjoyed spending time with him. So, I did this, whenever we had hung out together. We are dating, now. I often wonder what would have happened, if I had said the love word too early. I wonder if it would have frightened him off. I agree with Vyn; it's a difficult question to answer.

When I told a girl I was in love I told her online cus I find it easier to talk there and chose my words carefully. I said I was crazy about her because I felt crush was too weak and love could freak her out but I say go for it, better to try and fail than never to have tried at all.

Say, "I love you." Only say it if you're sure you mean it, though.

Good luck!

Before you go out and tell him about your feelings for him, how about trying to determine how much he likes you?

"Ever think about us... as a couple?"

The reason I go with this versus confessing your feelings (assuming you're both young since you mentioned University), is that he may not know how to react - and any poor reaction is probably going to be visible upon your crestfallen face which leads to a very awkward moment.

I don't know the proper etiquette for these kinds of things. All I know is that a lot of guys, when they hear that, their first reaction is "Oh, wonderful. Just what I wanted to hear". To a lot of guys, "I love you" is the same as "I'm pregnant". Since you are presumably as Aspie, you probably are a better judge of character, so I'm not sure this is an issue. All I can tell you is this: If a girl said to me "I love you" and the feeling was mutual, I would be happy. If a girl said "I'm in love with you" I would be scared. So make it as casual as you can, except if you are sure the feeling is mutual. Guys are simple creatures, yet very strange about things like this.

tell him "I love you"

Don't say it. Wait until you are with him for a while. If you can control your desire, it is a noble and very attractive quality. It's not manipulative if it's self control. I understand that most NT girls play this game effectively, and guys go for it. It's harder to be honest if you are not manipulative. But, what is intriguing is the factor that you have discipline for not saying it so fast because you are thinking about it.

ask him how he would like to know that a girl loves him. And then, use his answer to tell him![/quote]

Asking him the question is about the same as telling him you love him. It might shock him to state you love him if it's too quickly. Perhaps, you could say so indirectly and gently by telling him how you feel. Maybe say stuff like, I really care for you, I think about you a lot, etc.? Or, maybe it could be a good idea to show him how you feel by giving him a gift?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sO_KILnJdHw[/youtube]